Helplessly Hoping

Is this really what we are driven into?

2012-01-18T11:42:00.002-05:00

Rules of the house: requirements for all people residing in this household

Neglecting to follow these rules will result in a range of temporary punishments from loss of electronics privileges, to loss of driving privileges, to assigned chores, to restricted visiting privileges (grounded), or any other appropriate remedy.

Refusal to obey these basic rules by any member over the age of 18 years old will mean that you are choosing to be no longer a part of this home, and therefore you shall need to find a new place to live.

You shall have no other gods before me.
Cell phones, computers, Ipods, video games are privileges, not rights, and therefore should not be treated as if they are more important than, homework, chores, human interaction, physical activity - and can be taken away or restricted as necessary.
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
All people living in this house are expected to attend church on a weekly basis whenever there is no compelling reason preventing you from doing so.
Honor your father and your mother.
No under-age drinking, and for those 21 & over, only in moderation.
No smoking anywhere on the premises.
No illegal drug usage or possession.
Do not drive away in anger.
Speak respectfully, even when angry.
To assist us in coordinating everybody’s busy schedules, your work and activity schedule must be written down and available for us to consult.
You shall not murder.
Nor shall you EVER attempt or threaten to cause physical harm to yourself, your family members, or anyone else.
Violently emotional outbursts will not be tolerated without an active commitment to ongoing professional therapy
You shall not commit adultery.
nor shall unmarried children, nor friends, participate in any sexual acts within the home.
You shall not steal.
Not money, not possessions.
Not within the house, other peoples homes, or stores.
Not from family members, acquaintances, or strangers.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor (nor against family members). Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
Be honest, and accept the consequences of your actions.
Do not try to get other family members in trouble.
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house (nor your siblings belongings or situations).
Do not be angry because of what somebody else has.
The grass is not really greener on the other side. Act like you understand this concept.
All children are expected to share in the cleanliness of the home. 15 minutes of cleaning is the minimum requirement on a daily basis.

I __________________________ understand that these are the rules I must follow while I live in my parents home. Whether I agree with the rules or not does not effect the requirement of obeying them.

rant about Reposting Facebook Status

2011-12-05T19:04:00.005-05:00

here's the thing... reposting somebody else’s post is not a valid way to judge a person’s selflessness, honor, goodness, etc... lets say your cause is cancer - my grandmother died of breast cancer, my father of lung & brain cancer, my father-in-law prostate cancer, my brother is a survivor of stomach cancer and I do my own methods of honoring them. Let's say your cause is Veterans or current Service men & women - I can trace direct ancestors to the Revolutionary War, Civil War, WWI & WWII, have founding members of GAR and the first Commander of the Whitman American Legion, plus have currently and recently numerous cousins, in-laws, nieces & nephews who will/are/have be/being/been protectors of our American way of life. Again, I show my respect in my own private and public ways. Who died and left some Facebook Poster as Judge and Jury to accuse me of being disrespectful, uncaring, "Too Cool" or "Selfish"? I suspect that people who insist that you have to repost THEIR post are indeed being the selfish ones, feeling superior and all-knowing, that they and their ideas are better than anyone else’s. They are actually being a bully by attempting to make you feel shame if you don't do what they tell you to do, how they insist you do it. Stop and think for a moment - Reposting could be judged as an act of laziness and lack of sincerity on the re-poster's part, like saying "ya, I suppose it's a good cause but I don't really have time to give it any thought so I'll just steal something that some random person came up with, and then my friends will think I'm all caring and stuff". I suggest that if you feel it important to publicly display your commitment to a cause, invent your own post with your own personal feelings and words and NEVER NEVER tell anybody that they must repost it or be judged as uncaring, disrespectful or worse. If any of my Facebook Friends are offended that I do not repost their posts, PLEASE remove me from your "friend list". If that is how you evaluate the quality of your "friends", then I accept that I clearly overestimated the quality of our relationship. If you leave me ON your friend list, PLEASE do not insist that I am a lesser person for not reposting.

(PS: this one I find exceptionally offensively judgmental, not to mention that "Jay" doesn't even tell us why it's important to him or what actual useful sacrifices he's doing about it AND "Jay" apparently didn't even give it enough thought to use proper spelling... it's "you're" as in "you are" too cool, and "you are" selfish -- not "your". But I should not judge him either - maybe he is spending so much time volunteering at Childrens Hospital or organizing fund raisers to take a moment to use spell check or recall an elementary school English lesson)

A unique birthday challenge

2011-02-28T16:26:00.000-05:00

It has been a time of transition around here lately. One child is married and recently became a home-owner; one, tho still at home, has become more independent; two are away at college most of the time; two are working hard at being stereotypical sullen teens; one is debating following his closest role models or forging his own unique path. No more kids are in the foreseeable future, and neither is employment for me, so having a bread-winning Mom and a stay-at-home Dad appear to be the designated roles around here for a while. After more than a year of my unemployment, the kids haven’t fully embraced my omnipresence and in all honesty, neither have I. “Mom” is still the go to guy and I am the unavoidable lecturer who goes on and on about right and wrong. As they didn’t respond well to my Christmastime speech regarding them all having disposable income and the social correctness over actually getting their parents some sort of gift for Christmas, I decided a different approach might be more useful regarding my birthday. We often employ a technique we refer to as the “3 Things” response. When we are driving home from a [vacation/event/visit] everybody is asked to declare 3 things they enjoyed. This forces them to say out loud something positive about the experience, reminding them that it wasn’t as horrible as they might otherwise lead you to believe. It occurred to me that this approach might be useful as an alternative to a birthday gift – more like a challenge, to me as well as them. This is the note I gave to each of my children two weeks before my birthday.

Dad’s birthday request:

I have decided that for my 56th birthday, none of my children need to suffer through the decision over what to get me for a gift. Although I will gladly accept any thoughtful gift you might offer me, my true wish is simply for a special and personal birthday card.

In an effort towards self-improvement and a better relationship with my children, I ask for a special “Super Edition” of the “Three Things” routine you all know and love so well. I am asking each of my children to give me an individual birthday card – homemade or store-bought – either is fine. On the inside I want you to write a total of 9 lines;

Three activities I wish my father would do/share with me.
Three things I wish my father would do more of, or less of.
Three things about me I wish my father would brag about to others.

The only rules I apply to this are;

Each line must be honest and sincere.
These cards are to be delivered to me by Saturday February 26^th.

This way, as of my actual birthday I will be prepared to start acting on your recommendations

Love, Dad

Although I think I am aware of what my kids like to do, many times they appear reluctant to do them at my suggestion, so maybe I am mistaken and using out-dated knowledge. Clearly there are personal habits or traits that annoy my children, and maybe there are things I used to do that they enjoyed that I have gotten out of the habit of doing. And many times they express their distaste of being talked about to other people – but of course, we are parents, and therefore are always looking to brag about our kids, or look for sympathy from other grownups who might have survived similar experience. I was very intrigued to see what about themselves they had sufficient pride over and would give me permission to discuss with others. I of course thought that this was an ingenious concept, and worried that some of them might stubbornly refuse to cooperate with the idea. Needless to say, I spent two weeks pondering and predicting who might say what, who would surprise me, who would disappoint me, and how would I respond to the challenge of then following through addressing and acting upon the suggestions put forth to me.

Well, the 26^th came, and 6 out of 7 had their birthday cards all prepared (1 declared he didn’t know it was due on that day, but he did voluntarily hand it to me before going to bed on the 27th). One rented a zip-car to surprise me on Saturday to drop off the card (well, and to pick up some things – his surprise was when he discovered we wouldn’t be home from Maine until long after he had to return the vehicle), and the two normally sullen teens were actually waiting in prideful (or ego-driven) anticipation for me to look over their cards. Each one had their own different and individual style, ranging from artistic to analytically profound to minimalist to thoughtfully sweet. Responses ranged from general ideas to very specific; “I wish Dad would have a Beatles Bash on February 9^th” ( the anniversary of them appearing on the Ed Sullivan show) and “I wish dad would ask me less questions about school” and “I wish dad would stargaze with me” to ‘I wish my dad would’ “ help me learn new stuff” and “talk more” and “take time to do the things you love”.

One respondent had voiced a pre-emptive concern about not having any accomplishments worthy of bragging about, while others I suspect had trouble limiting themselves to only 3 items. There were two store-bought cards, three hand-crafted cards, one hand-scrawled list on white lines paper, and a one-page essay response, carefully formatted, punctuated and typed which concluded with “The last question was easy for me, although I was a bit surprised that it was included considering it’s a birthday card for dad, not me. Why should I talk glowingly about myself when everyone knows that’s not how I like to carry myself. Nevertheless, the question was asked so I must respond.” [I wish my dad would brag about] “ - my enjoyment of the outdoors in all its forms and wonderment, - my approach to 10,000 mile on my bike, expected by late summer/early fall if I ride at the same pace from the years 2007-2010, - my knowledge involving numbers, and all applications of such (i.e: Calculators, Calendars, Measurements, etc…”

I also did receive one actual gift – homemade fudge (someone had paid attention over the years!)

So let me proceed forth from here on the right foot by planning a hiking trip, a canoe/kayak trip, some campfire singalong nights, and by bragging to all who read this what a great job my children did at honoring my birthday wish by responding in the manner in which it was intended. Maybe I have taken them for granted and underestimated them in too many ways. Here’s to a better year and better relationships with my terrific kids – a challenge I fully intend to live up to.

Humble

2011-02-01T15:14:00.004-05:00

"Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord, or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?"

(What If I Stumble by DC Talk)

How much humble is too much humble? At what point does Confidence and Take Charge Attitude become NOT humble enough?

I believe that I have a reasonably accurate assessment of my skills in most aspects of my life, but acting out my appropriate confidence (or lack of) in the correct doses baffles me. I am not a very good braggart – which is not to say I don’t brag. There are many times I want to project that I have full confidence in my abilities, but I often have no confidence in understanding what volume or intensity is productive or counterproductive.

I can make up my resume to reflect my skills as a cabinetmaker, or a customer service rep, or a QC technician, or a shop supervisor, or a documentation compliance manager, or a Youth/Music Minister. But I struggle creating a cover letter that highlights my abilities without sounding like (to me anyway) egotistical clichéd boasting. Father Tom Dunne once related a story about a young priest who might be in line for a promotion. He was told he needed to write a summary of all the great work that he had done. The young man was unable to do so because, although he was proud of his achievements and believed he was worthy of the promotion, he also believed that he should not be the one tooting his own horn – that his superiors should already know his accomplishments and worthiness. If he had to boast, he must not have done well enough to be noticed by them and therefore didn’t deserve it. Granted, this story is more appropriate to an “in-house” promotion situation, but the dilemma is similar.

Likewise, with my music, I think I am pretty honest with my self-evaluation of my abilities. I pride myself in playing what I play quite well – well enough to earn some extra money at it, and given more devotion could do better (but probably not significantly better – I’m pretty much near the top of my potential). Of course, what I don’t play so well, I try to avoid. I sing on key and reasonably strong, and can generally jump onto any un-filled harmony line as needed. I am not a natural born leader, although when put in that position I can draw on my belief in my skills and, having a vision of what the project requires, can do an adequate job. No matter how well it turns out, I am humble in the knowledge that it did so more on the abilities and cooperation of others, through fate, or Holy Spirit – certainly due to things beyond my control.

I have not been leading Youth Masses (except the annual Confirmation Mass) so I am a little out of shape. I miss it. I enjoyed the steady opportunity to work on improving my skills and attempts to deliver a memorable event. See, if I was truly humble, I would have my first thoughts be of offering my time and God-given talents for the good of the church. Instead, it’s the individual personal benefits I perceive, with an eye towards being favorably noticed by my community.

Last week, I received a call from a longtime Youth Minister friend, who needed a favor. His regular music people from his parish were for some reason not able to lead their Youth Mass music at a confirmation retreat being held on Cape Cod. Of course I was flattered that he would think of me for this occasion. I didn’t stop to consider whether he had already been turned down by dozens of others and I was simply the last on his list. My ego assured me that I was of course worthy of being honored by his request. I did harbor some concerns regarding how it would all go off. Not being familiar with his group/parish and therefore not knowing what songs would go over best, or if my lone guitar and voice would need amplification to be effective, and knowing that I couldn’t know what I might need to know but couldn’t, meant that I had some humbling doubts as to how well I could pull it off. I was informed in advance that another musician would be there to help me out. Well I found the retreat center with plenty of time to spare and started to practice to get a feel for the room. I soon learned that I would have a young bass player and some singers helping me out as well. Throughout the next hour, various teenagers were introduced to me as singers and the bass player, and even another young lady guitarist. Although the other officially listed musician had not yet arrived, I got my little but growing ensemble going through the song list – giving directions and advice, and figuring out who was capable of what. With one song still to go, Jon arrived and pulled out his guitar. With this final introduction out of the way, I explained to him where we were, what we were doing, and how I expected to proceed onward. I started to play – and Jon joined in behind me. As I said, I have a pretty good read on my abilities, and I instantly recognized that there was an absurd flip flop of abilities and of assigned responsibilities. I had no right leading THIS guy. This was like John baptizing Jesus. But similarly as Jesus, fully knowing his ability and place, casually and graciously submitted authority to a lesser qualified person, Jon happily added complimentary guitar parts and harmony lines and went along with everything I had prepared. Father Medairos (my own Pastor – the following day) spoke of humility. He quoted a bit from readers Digest where a great orchestra conductor when asked what was the most difficult instrument to play, claimed that “it was 2^nd fiddle. I can find plenty of 1^st violinists, but finding a 2^nd fiddle who will play with enthusiasm – that’s a problem. And if we have no 2^nd fiddles, we have no harmony”. Well, Jon showed no hesitation nor condescension at playing 2^nd fiddle to me. Nor were we short on harmonies. With a full-fledged chorus of able-voiced young men & women, we had harmony galore, counterpoint parts, and mid-stream dynamics and key changes on the fly. I discovered (thankfully not before hand – it might have un-nerved me) Jon is a musical evangelist with his own conceived and developed full blown stage show that he performs most every week, locally as well as around the country. His credentials are clearly not those of a second fiddle, at least not when compared to my own, but I never would have known this by his demeanor. It took an explanation from another friend to clue me in as to who/what he was. He never once tooted his own horn (although he played his guitar exquisitely). In the end, it was a very humbling experience, as once again, a terrific event occurred for which I was given gracious credit for, which in the end I had precious little control over. I was simply willingly in the right place at the right time with an assigned task which I hope I humbly performed well, as did the dozen or so others who stood beside & behind me all humbly performing their assigned tasks. It was just left to the Holy Spirit to make something special out of us all, and the results make it implausible to NOT believe in the power of the Holy Spirit.

"Do they see the fear in my eyes? Are they so revealing? This time I cannot disguise all the doubt I'm feeling. What if i stumble, what if i fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?"

Judy Blue Eyes - Sweet!

2011-01-27T18:47:00.002-05:00

I haven't had much motivation to play my guitar lately - no band work lately, no church Youth Mass any more, noboby here who plays or wants to learn, no jam partners nearby. But for some unknown reason, the pther day I decided to Google "the correct tuning for Suite: Judy Blue Eyes. I have for decades played a reasonable self-taught version of this song with a simple double-dropped-D tuning. I knew it wasn't totally right, but it certainly sounded fine and impressive enough. My search brought me to YouTube of course, where a guy demonstrates the "Correct" way to play the song. I actually knew the "actual" tuning, which he did have correct - low E, low E, mid E, mid E, B, E - and some of the chords and fingerings he had spot on, but then some of it simply was not right. This led me to find YouTube's of Stephen Stills playing the song live. There are actually many versions - with CSN, CSNY, him by himself - and like all artists, every version had some differences. All in all though, I got a pretty good grip on it and decided that Coreys acoustic guitar that was not at college with him would be the perfect choice to permenently tune as the "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" guitar, and I got to work. Amazing how much more authentic it sounds with the proper tuning. Amazing how certain parts within the song still didn't sound quite accurate, but with enough experimentation and YouTube review (they seldom get good close-ups of his left hand position at the critical moments), by George I think I've got it! Now I simply play it because it feels so rewarding to have finally nailed it after so many years of cheating. SO - if anybody is having some gathering or event and you feel that you simply HAVE to have somebody perform a great version of this song for you, let me know because along with my regular instrument for all my other tunes I can entertain you with, I have a guitar dedicated strictly for that song (oh, and "4 & 20" - same artist, same tuning - which I also used to cheat on with double-dropped-D) and I know you will be incredibly impressed!

Pre-Christmas 2010

2010-12-23T11:37:00.005-05:00

Christmas is almost here, and somewhat different in many ways from past years, tho' with many typical joys as well. The tree went up a week earlier than usual, and this is the first year that Santa has had the presence to put the presents under the tree early. Although you might expect an emotional letdown that older kids often get regarding "Christmas present anticipation", seeing them sitting there wrapped but on full display, with new additions appearing unpredictably, has led my often surly teenaged crew to gleefully shake and fondle and count and speculate almost daily. Nikki refuses to believe that the large wrapped box with her name on it is actually a package of underwear cleverly disguised as a ruse to trick her. Joe, having money burning a hole in his pocket and disturbed that the dogs always get something, decided to purchase at cat toy/nap-place pirate ship - couldn't wait until Christmas, so he set it up immediately. We still enjoy the annual family combo Christmas & Mom's/Aunt Edie's birthday party at Camp Kiwanee. This year Aunt Edie did not come up from Florida to attend, but two of her five children participated anyway. Unexpectedly, Moms cousin Howard and his daughter Terry and son Jim came in from Maine to see long lost relatives. We downsized our tree in an effort to not obstruct the view of the television for a month, but thanks to a belated but still in the St. Nick of time extending of unemployment benefits, we didn't have to downsize the gift lists too badly. We have gotten better in recent years to shop more specifically and orderly instead of randomly and emotionally, but still some kids are just so easy and fun to shop for while others are difficult and offer little insight. The job search is still unsuccessfully continuing, although I did receive a very enthusiastic apologetic rejection from a recent application and found a new opening to apply for that I totally qualify for and have the experience for, so maybe the new year will be more prosperous. We get to have all of our still-at-home kids at home for Christmas morning, and get to share Mary & Matts first Christmas as home-owners, conducting the childrens exchanging of gifts tradition at their beautiful house in Hanson.

1 year anniversary

2010-10-02T20:39:00.003-04:00

As of today I have been unemployed for one full year. It was fun for a while but it's become a bit unsettling now.

Sox 2010 recap

2010-09-11T09:56:00.005-04:00

Things I've decided about the Red Sox this year:

I would have rather pitched Tim Wakefield every 5th day over Lackey or Dice-K - he might not have done any better, but I would have been much happier accepting the results.

Theo should convince Dice-K to accept a trade to the National League (San Fran or LA would be good locations for him)

I would have traded Bucholtz last year and I would have been wrong (even after last nights debacle).

If Mike Bowden isn't going to be in the rotation or the bullpen next year, trade him while you still can.

I would rather have Jed Lowery next year instead of Bill Hall.

Theo evaluated both Mike Lowell and Adrian Beltre correctly.

They should overpay for Beltre (and V-Mart) next year, and Lowell should retire.

Big Papi is a crap shoot for next year. Try to get an Adam Dunn type left fielder so you can afford the risk of keeping OR letting Papi go. If you let him go, DH by committee, rotating people who can hit AND play a position.

If they had kept Ellsbury in center where he belongs, he wouldn't have broken his ribs. Practice Mike Cameron in left & right and he should be a solid 4th OF next year.

Scutaro was OK but I hope the Cuban minor league SS gets here soon (and has learned to hit).

By 2012, I want to see Ryan Kalish, Jose Inglesias, Junichi Tazawa , & Kelly Casey in the regular lineup. If they can't make it by then, they should be trade bait for someone who can.

Keep Tito - he is the best manager we have ever had or could hope to get in this day and age.

Bunny Condo

2010-08-24T10:11:00.004-04:00

Ohio girls at Camp Kiwanee

2010-06-15T10:39:00.000-04:00

St Lucia revisited - Day 1

2010-04-10T18:10:00.003-04:00

As Sue naps from all of todays activities & before supper, I shall try to remember how, what & when so far. I suppose it starts well before our departure. When I got layed off, I had to determine what to do with my 401K. It was not enough to be more than a spit in the bucket for actual retirement, and because I was sort of involuntarily retired, and might not ever get another chance to do this magnitude of a trip again, we decided to put aside a couple months worth of mortgage money and splurge the rest on returning to wonderful St Lucia/Sandals. On one hand, being unemployed, it felt like a huge and ill-advised finacial risk. On the other hand, many couple close to us were suffering through divorces, illnesses and deaths - and to whom ever we mentioned our trip to, everybody stated "of course you should go!" To you all, I say "thanks for enabling us!"
Wednesday we arrived at Logan Airport at 3:30AM for a 5:30AM 3+ hour flight to Miami. After a 1-1/2 hour intermission there, we were on a 3+ hour flight to St Lucia. 40 minutes past San Juan, we were informed that we would about=face and land in Puerto Rico to take on more fuel and wait for the inclement weather in St Lucia to clear up a bit. Instead of landing at 1:15PM, we finally arrived at 3:30PM - "no worries, no problems". Having decided to take a 15 minute helicopter to Castries (St Lucia capital and 15 minutes to our Sandals) instead of the 1-1/2 to 2 hour taxi ride, we managed to arrive well ahead of the other plane passengers headed to the same destination. Weather was off=and=on raining, but still lovely. We settled into our room - upgraded from the one we booked as we were returning customers. Sandals was celebrating "Reunion Week" and having a special dinner for returning guests. We ate a gourmet cooked & presented meal, sharing a table with two couples from Canada (why would anybody want to own one?), a couple from Texas, and one of the Hotel Managers. We won prizes & T-shirts and had a blast exchanging stories with our new-found friends. Although the room we had been upped into was larger and did hav a balcony, we quickly determined that we truly preferred the room we had on our last visit and after thanking them for their generosity, asked if they could please "downgrade" us back to the room we originally booked. They insisted of course it would be "no problem, no pressure" and could handle it in the morning. Having just spent the last 3hours entertaining the hotel manager, Sue regailing him with stories, we felt confident that we would indeed be satisfied. We finished up early (10:00PM) and crashed on our room.

disjointed and unconnected - maybe?

2009-11-10T10:37:00.002-05:00

As I cleaned out the Taurus so Sue could drive to Worchester on Sunday, I noticed the inspections sticker was two months overdue - so Monday I brought it in to be taken care of. Then we spent time out to lunch reminiscing about past grand adventures and plotting & planning when we might be able to repeat. Then I went to Camp Bournedale for the 7th grade special overnight program, where I reminisced about YOW retreats and fun - while trying to keep eight 12 year olds under some semblance of control. Boy the school and the church have different approaches and protocols to supervision and security issues. I got to chat with numerous teachers about past and present students, and about how everybody loved them all and had a story to tell, and ditto regarding their favorite Sub-Teacher Susan. Now I'm back home on Tuesday submitting resumes and blogging for the first time since I was layed off. Funny how I had time for this while I was working, but now that I'm not, I can't seem to fit it in!

Great bargains and expensive fried dough

2009-09-09T11:10:00.006-04:00

Event: East Middleboro annual 4-H Fair.
Here, every year for the past 60 years, you can come and see/touch the 4-H animals, admire the kids arts & crafts, and find amazing bargains in the used book tent, the “Country Store” (used junk) tent, and the Friday & Saturday Night Auction (more & bigger used junk). All year long, local folks donate/drop off unsold yard sale items, or relics found while cleaning Nana’s attic or stuff from Uncle Mel’s shed that he hasn’t used in many years, etc…. You can browse through all of this potential treasure while munching on freshly cooked food from the fry stand or the grill stand or the country kitchen – also all at below typical market prices.

The book tent is full of used romance novels, and history books and biographies, out-dated atlases and travel guides, old vinyl records (33’s, 45’s ) by Jim Nabors or Ed Ames and lots of Christmas Albums - all very dusty and occasionally moldy. Last year I found three Civil War topic books, but nothing this year.

The Country Store tent is full of roller blades, coffee mugs, obsolete electronics, bags of all sorts (hand, duffle, back, tote..), Christmas decorations, and every item from that junk drawer we all have in the kitchen or tool-shed. There is so much of this hodge-podge that it actually encompasses TWO tents. On Friday & Saturday, most everything goes for a buck apiece. On Sunday, you can fill a shopping bag for a dollar. This year, for one dollar, I got Joe ice hockey skates, a 20ft rope-light, 2 spring-loaded door stoppers, a rabbit cage water dish, a set of steak knives, a sharpening rod, teaspoons, and a can of Bondo.

My favorite part of the whole proceedings is the Auction – from scouring the auction tent to find potential treasures to bid on, getting my “number card” from Stacy The Assistant Auctioneer, to watching the Mazzilli brothers bid against each other to buy the couch they will both sit on for the night (and then re-buy it again the next night – they have never taken “the couch” home in the end) or spend $300 on a stuffed animal that they will then give away to some small child sitting nearby. If one of my kids identify a “MUST-HAVE-IT” item to attempt to win, I will tell them a maximum price, give them the magic “Number Card”, and let them wave it at the auctioneer in hopes that some grownup will notice who they are bidding against and have the decency to not out-bid this poor little desperate kid. When it’s time to get up and get my fried dough, I trustingly leave “the number card” with Sue with specific instructions “if XYZ comes up while I’m gone, bid up to $$ for it”. We have acquired desks, bureaus, lamps, chairs, a swing-set, a 14ft balance beam, a fiberglass rowboat, and other spectacular bargains too numerous to recall using my well-honed methods. Of course, while I will buy most anything I don’t need for a dollar or two, I have missed out on some good and useful items due to my skinflint reluctance to pay fair value. So this year, with Nikki following closely by my side (she was avoiding getting roped into waitressing under the kitchen tent), I searched for worthy items to bid on – but found slim pickings and nothing that excited me (no gymnastics equipment this year, and I didn't actually need the snowblower). Nikki pointed out two stools and a 5ft mirror that she just HAD to have. We took our seats and the auction began, rather uneventfully aside from the 2-sided bookcase for Sue and the pony (stuffed) I won for Julie because she ALWAYS asks me to buy her a pony when I go shopping, and I never had - until now. After an hour or so, I wandered off to get my fried dough – telling Nikki & Sue that if her mirror came up, she could bid up to $10 for it (I was in a generous mood and was confident that a. it wouldn’t come up, and b. that nobody else would want it very badly). As I stood 100 yards away at the fry stand waiting for my snack, I noticed that an enthusiastic bidding war was going on for two old rusty wood-handled bow saws. As I looked closer, I noticed that Nikki was frantically waving my card as the price climbed higher and higher, until her competition dropped out at $20 – leaving her (me) with the winning bid and the useless saws. With my $3 Fried Dough in hand (which is typically the most money I will spend on any single item all weekend), I returned to my seat – annoyed and confused - and asked why we had just spent so much money so foolishly. While Sue looked innocently confused at my indignation, Nikki boldly stated “You said you wanted saws”. I admit – I lost it! “WHAT? I NEVER SAID I WANTED SAWS!”. Sue noticing my turn to anger and the attention my outburst had drawn, adeptly threw Nikki under the bus, saying “but she told me so convincingly that you really wanted them that I believed her and figured that we should make sure we got them for you ‘cause you deserve it”. Realizing in disbelief that I now owned these saws for what I could have purchased a whole off-campus-apartment-full of fine furniture for, I sat down in my chair and concluded that “this is the most expensive piece of Fried Dough I’ve ever bought”.

Nikki still hasn’t fully accepted my apology for my outburst at her. It really was nice of her to try so excitedly to get something that she sincerely thought I really wanted. I did get her the mirror - for $1.

She's leaving home, bye bye

2009-09-03T14:44:00.004-04:00

When Mary left for college it felt strange, as she was the first child to be “not home”. But honestly, she had been so busy and self-contained during her high school senior year I saw precious little of her so I barely noticed that she wasn’t around once she wasn’t. Although I loved her dearly, her leaving didn’t cause a big change in my daily life. Because Yon moved in with us almost immediately after she left, we didn’t even get the benefit of having a bit more room in her absence.

When Tim left for college, well, he didn’t actually leave as he commuted to BSC. During his high school senior year we actively tried to prepare him for the options that layed ahead. We had really hoped he would go and experience that level of independence and quasi-real-world exposure that campus living gives a young adult, but he simply wasn’t up to that challenge. I loved him dearly, but his college experience didn’t cause a big change in my daily life. He remains at home still holed up in his little re-habbed corner of the cellar , probably for as long as he can get away with it.

When Corey left for college it was a cause for great relief (sorry Corkman!), as we had worried about his financial aid, if somehow going to college would fall through, his girlfriend situation, etc… During his high school senior year we had endured many heated arguments and power struggles and sibling rivalries, and although I loved him dearly, his leaving for college actually made life a little easier for everybody. Thankfully we seem to have come along quite nicely and everybody’s relationships with him have improved dramatically. One side benefit was that we actually seemed to have a bit more room while he’s off at school.

Now Julie is getting ready to leave for college, and I am going to out-and-out miss her. During her senior year, we became closer. She would seek me out – to sing Beatles or CSN songs, to do something-anything, or just to get a kiss goodnight or a hug for no particular reason. I love her dearly and I expect to discover a noticeable void in my daily life while she’s away. The remaining kids are eager to swap and rearrange room assignments, where each of them will have separate rooms that they only have to share during semester breaks and long holidays.

Mary always had her mothers brains, drive, and self-assuredness, while inheriting my reserved nature, musical talents, athletic ability, and love of outdoors. Despite her obvious musical ability, she often seemed intimidated to sing & play with me, and much like me and my tendency to hope and wait for people to seek me out, we probably each spent too much time hoping the other one would step forward and initiate time together.

Tim always had his mothers impeccable memory and my obsessive love of statistics and obscure facts, and my deep & awkward shyness. His brain is otherworldly, although music never drew him in (aside from loving “The 12 Days Of Christmas” and all Christmas music in general). He would tag along with me to the various rinks where I refereed, and could tell me how long it had been since I had been there – what the scores were – and if the home teams really had an advantage. We could play game like – you say a year (from 1968 forward) and he would tell you the Superbowl score and who the MVP was. Insightful or philosophical conversation was a struggle for him, and much like me, small talk was a mystery – so talking sports or weather were the predominant interactions.

Corey always had his mothers unwavering confidence in being right (along with a teenagers natural belief in knowing everything), which coupled with my love of being actively involved in sports, made him an ideal umpire. He inherited Sue’s generous outgoing nature and my stubborn brain (sorry Corkman!) and willingness to debate a meaningless point or a meaningful one. Although not "naturally gifted" musically, he worked hard at being a musician and unashamedly would join in any sing-along/strum-along and has now done very well with numerous instruments. He frequently tries to draw me into playing street hockey, football or basketball or whatever he & his pals are up to, or simply discussing music, sports, religion, politics.

Julie is possibly the least like me. She is free spirited and unreserved, outgoing and self-confident. She purposely takes time every day to work on daydreaming. Her musical talent although good, isn’t as natural as Mary’s & mine, but she unabashedly loves to sing and has adopted my love of 60’s/Beatles/CSN era music. Her artistic ability is more natural and advanced than my own, but she loves to express it in 60’s/FlowerPower images. She is clearly an anachronism from the 1960's, which I can fully appreciate even though I was a few years too young to have been totally immersed in it when it originally was happening. Although she is not a “natural athlete”, she certainly found a niche that she could perform very well in and has complete pride in her accomplishments while understanding that it is a fun outlet, not a life-altering pursuit. She freely expresses love for me, brags openly about me, enthusiastically embraces my hobbies and interests and happily participates in them, willingly excuses my flaws and failings, and greets every new day with joy and hope. If anyone wished they could know what Sue was like at 18 years old, simply spend a day with Julie and you will get a very authentic re-enactment (minus the older boyfriend, but nobody could figure that out anyway!). I lucked out in 1980 when Sue didn’t “go away” to college, so I didn’t have to suffer though this experience before. I think I'm about to get a glimpse of how I would have felt back then. You bet I am going to miss Julie while she’s away.

“I think I’m going to be sad, I think it’s today, yeah”

26th Anniversary - the adventure continues

2009-08-28T19:20:00.006-04:00

As wedding anniversaries are celebrations of an event where (if you had done things by the book ) you did exciting things that you had never done before, the anniversaries should also include that same spirit of new adventure. We knew we wanted to get some outdoor exercise type of activity, but not too strenuous - and see something scenic and fun. We didn't have much discretionary income to spend, so we would pack a picnic, snacks and drinks. We contemplated Boston or Plymouth windowshopping, but then thought about taking the ferry to P'town would be fun - untill we saw the price ($40 per person round trip + $10 each if we brought the bicycles). But with that concept in mind, we looked at Martha's Vineyard and were surprized at how much CHEAPER it would be ($15 per person + $6 per bike - round trip). Although I had gone to Martha's Vineyard over 40 years ago with my grandmother, and Sue had ( a couple years ago) visited a friend who lives there, we had never adventured there together. So Thursday August 27th, we loaded the pickup and headed to Falmouth. The shuttle bike-bus from Palmer Street is a trip all it's own, but after waiting with the way-too-talkative driver, and getting squeezed to well beyond safe or legal capacity, we did make it to the ferry in time. As bicyclists are last to load, we had trouble finding two forward-facing seats with a view, but after a few scouting trips around the decks, we settled in for a quiet ride. Once in Vinal Haven, we walked the bikes through the crowded streets of shops & shoppers. After finding air for our tires & a map of the island, we headed off in the direction of Edgartown. The main road has nice wide bike lanes so the ride is safe and relatively easy. Along the way we discovered an Alpaca Farm to pop into (but decided to NOT spend the $5 per to tour the grounds and see the animals up close (we can do that at any of the many fairs). We ate out picnic lunch in Edgartown and explored around a lighthouse that overlooks the harbor and Chappaquidick. Then followed Beach Road along 5 miles of sandy beach and warm calm water and lots of young families. Sue waded in, thought seriously about taking a swim - until she realized that Jaws was filmed somewhere off of this island (or maybe nantucket, but either way - too close). I had been standing knee deep with the famous bass music playing through my head at the exact moment she turned and said "wait a minute...." So off we headed to Oak Bluff - the "trendy" part of the island we had been told. We found an ice cream shop that had caramel (not so easy to find now-a-days) and sat and looked at the enormous boats ($$$$$$$$$$$$$). Keeping tabs on the time, knowing when we had to catch the next ferry out of VH, we cruised the final 3 miles back to our point of origin with half an hour to spare. Having pedaled about 16 miles, we were a bit tired, and our legs and buttockes were a bit sore, yet we were feeling refreshed at the ability to spend this time together uninterupted enjoying the glorious weather, beautiful sights, and inspiration for future adventures. Back on the mainland, we decided we still had enough left to allow us to pedal the 4 miles back to the truck - therefore avoiding the bike-bus debacle. In the end, we totaled about 20 miles - not bad for "non-strenuous exercise". As I paid the $12 parking fee, we knew for sure that NEXT TIME - we park free at the bike-trail lot & pedal to Woods Hole (cause lets face it - the lot there is ALWAYS full. We dined at a restaurant that we had never tried before (Bayley's Surf & Turf in Wareham), ending the "never-done-before" portion of our anniversary celebration.

Dinner with Julie

2009-08-26T13:21:00.001-04:00

Julie has been working all summer babysitting for young neighbor boys, and actually saving most of her money (an uncommon trait in this family). As the time is drawing near for her to head off to her campus dorm room, time is running short for special father/daughter bonding time – something that she has expressed a wanting for (again, an uncommon trait – her mother being the other exception). She mentioned a while ago, quite proudly, that she wanted to treat me to dinner out before she left and while she could still afford to. So Monday night, while Sue & Joe were still in NH, and Tim & Yon were at work, and Jamie was at the Fair – leaving me, Julie & Nikki to decide dinner for just us – we happily decided that it would be an ideal time to eat out. Nikki wanted TGIF and Julie wanted Friendly’s. Figuring that Jules would be covering 2/3rds of the bill, I let her choice win – Friendly’s it was. Nikki, in her best “cut off my nose to spite my face” stubbornness decided if it wasn’t TGIF, she would stay home with a Fluffernutter. As I am always amused when they decide to “punish me” by being uncooperative, Julie & I left Nikki and somehow managed to have some guilt-free fun anyways. We talked about her impending departure from our everyday lives, and what to expect and how to best deal with some of the new situations she will likely encounter for the first time. We also worked on a plan for a “take-your-father-out-of-work” day adventure for next week, as the kids will be back at school and she’ll be briefly free. A canoe trip up the Green Harbor River sounds like a fun adventure – maybe after a stop at the RMV for a 2nd try for a learners permit (which is after all a stereotypical job of the father, right?). Wow – hard to believe we are all ready for this next step. How will I adjust to not having my daughter (who still proudly claims me as her own, still freely hugs me or kisses me goodnight, or gleefully shares songs/jokes/anecdotes with me) around to let me know that I’m not a total failure as a father? (‘cause ya know that enough of them are all to eager to point out all of my parenting “flaws”!!)

Sue and Heather running Carver Race 2009

2009-07-26T09:45:00.004-04:00

PLC --Time --Pace --PLC/Group --PLC/Sex --Bib# --Name --Town, State

145 -- 45:23 --9:05 --16 30-39 --48 F --104 --Heather Weydt --Hanson,MA

180 -- 51:48 --10:22 --16 40-49 -67 F --10 --Susan Blauss --Carver,MA

A day late and a run short

2009-06-19T21:14:00.003-04:00

You guessed it - we battled it out tooth & nail with "Haircuts by Lorie" in the championship game, but in the end - came up 1 run short. Excitement and tension were the rule for the day. We shut them out in the first inning and scored 3 ourselves. Then they went ahead by 2, then we went ahead by 2. Kayli pitched 3 strong innings & Nikki 2. Nikki caught 2 rocket line drives right back at her but just couldn't get the double play on the base runner. Christy, playing 3rd base for the 1st time this year caught a tough pop-up/fly ball behind her. Adrianna made a nice running shoetop catch in right field. We went into the home half of the last inning needing 2 runs to tie & 3 to win and our bottom 2 batters up - then the top of the order. Having pre-arranged it with the other teams coach who graciously agreed, Kayla - our girl who broke her finger two days before (catching a fly ball) would be allowed to pinch run for whichever girl got on base first. That was Sam - who had hit the best ball of the year (for her) and got a single. Kayla stole her way to 3rd base and scored on Kayli's line drive to center. Taryn crushed a drive to the out field - but Kayli had to hestitate making sure it fell in, and stopped at 3rd as the potential tieing run. Our two biggest hitters were coming up to face the fastest pitcher in the league. All we needed was one ground ball or one wild pitch to tie the game, and she had been throwing plenty of them. Instead, she bore down and struck out both Alex & Adrianna (we didn't even luck out with a dropped strike 3) and the best game of the season was over - a day late and a run short.

Another Saturday Night and I ain't got nobody

2009-06-10T14:47:00.002-04:00

except for "Dick Arranjo and the Travellers" and a room where I'm known as 'the young guy"!

A glorious week and great company

2009-05-29T21:06:00.003-04:00

a little better all the time........
last friday - beautiful weather - and Joe's birthday, so we made him skip school (he was very tentative about the idea, but bought into it quickly), I took a vacation day, and Sue turned down a "Sub" request. We loaded up the bikes and headed to Falmouth and the Shining Sea Bike Path. We had also planned to visit the Childrens Museum in Mashpee, but Joe decided it was such nice weather that we should stay out in it longer - so we pedaled and walked and explored a bird sactuary along the way and investigated shells near the Trunk River. A glorious day with great company!
Saturday - we did some basic yard work and house cleaning, and in the evening recruited friends Mark & Maureen for a canl-side walk followed by drinks & appetizers & a good band (with a great young female singer, and an excellent Berklee grad type guitarist. A glorious day with great company.
Sunday - family day (minus Corey & Mary & Yon) - and we decided to risk the depressing weather reports and trek up Mt Monadnock. Along about the NH border I was feeling & hearing an unusual noise/vibration from the van, which turned into a steady thumping noise that everybody heard. We pulled into the State park parking lot and checked the front tire, discovering it was on the verge of major blow-out (it might not have lasted one more mile). Jamie - my budding mechanic - was eager to get the jack & spare and get to work, so while he & I changed tires, the rest of the gang ate lunch. Then we headed up hill on foot. Tim & Joe were gung-ho and were given permission to hike on ahead. Julie & Jamie were struggling, so I sent Sue & Nikki off ahead and I held back with the out-of-shape high schoolers. Tim & Joe made the peak, Sue and Nikki stopped at the junction of the White Dot (up) trail and the White Cross (down) trail and waited for us slow pokes. They both could have made the top - almost visible from the intersection (but fogged in) but chose to sit & rest & wait from us to catch up. Shortly after we did, the boys came down and met us - so we all headed down. Aside from a few high pulse rates and one fall on the rocks (Joe, horsing around) all went well and unusually chearfully. A glorious day and great company.
Monday - Memorial Day - tons of work accomplished (for upcoming Grad Party) and people left me alone. (also translates into a glorious day).
Tuesday - Joe's evening baseball game, sitting in the van by the right field fence - a glorious lazy way to spend an hour & a half.
Wednesday - our softball game was supposed to be rained out, but the weather held off and the girls played quite well, pulled off a few very good defensive plays (followed strategic instructions and were rewarded by the results) and despite two runners thrown out at home plate (one give credit to the opposing catcher how perfectly blocked the plate, caught the throw and made the tag - and one were Antonia actually made a picture perfect slide under the tag but the ump was out of position and blew the call) we came from behind and won the game. A glorious day and great company.
Thursday - virtually uneventful (other than Joe getting "benched" at his tack meet - it's hard to sit, behave, and watch for 3 hours while waiting your turn to run) and sue was out doing yoga with my sister and then drinks/snacks with play-people. For her at least, great company.
Today (friday) - amazingly nothing on the calendar for Sue & I, only two children home, so Friday's for supper followed by doing NOTHING (interupted by picking up Nikki, then Julie). Talk about a glorious day and great company!!!

The Fear of Bunting

2009-05-20T10:26:00.007-04:00

No – not the patriotic red-white-&-blue flag-like bunting that you see on the sides of buildings around certain holidays. I’m talking about that terrifying moment when the batter squares off to face the pitcher, bat held horizontal, ready to intentionally bump into the ball, making it drop to the ground a few feet in front of home plate (which is, by the way, about as far as some girls hit it with a full swing).

We have been practicing bunting almost every practice session. For some reason the girls hate the idea and are scared to death of the whole prospect. So last Friday, before the game started and before I had to leave to Tiverton to play in the band, I told the whole team that in Tuesdays game EVERY batter would be given the bunt sign (note picture: this is my bunt sign! it seemed appropriate, hard to miss, and hard to mistake), at least once during EVERY time they got to bat. Apparently they all spent a very sleepless weekend! The night of the dreaded game came, and I reminded them all that they would ALL indeed have to try to bunt. I even went and told the opposing coach of my plan so he wouldn’t think I was pulling some cheap ploy against his team, but that it was simply a cheap psychological ploy against my own players. He loved the idea, though it was great. I let the umpire in on the plan, and he happily advised various ones along the way about not stepping out of the batters box, and pulling the bat back if they are NOT going to try for that particular pitch. I was going to be happy if about half of the girls actually squared up into the proper bunting pose even once, and if anyone had set an over/under gamble at 3 total balls actually bunted I would have probably bet on the ‘under’. I figure the first step in overcoming their fear was to simply have them mentally prep for the attempt – get used to looking for the sign, and hopefully, eventually, as the season progressed, to get more at ease with the actual physical technique and maybe even have occasional success. The end result? About half of the at-bats, no spectator/opposing player/opposing coach would have been able to tell you which pitch was the one they were supposed to be bunting on. Many of the attempts were half-hearted at best. They squared up (if you could call it that) much too late – when the pitch was half way to the plate instead of before the pitcher let go of the ball. After the first time through the whole lineup, I told them that if they simply made a good attempt, they wouldn’t have to do it any more that day (anything to boost their motivation level). In the end, three successful bunts were put down (successful in the fact that they WERE put down, not that they reached base safely – which none did). Hopefully we will do better next game, and eventually it will be no big deal.
Oh yeah – by the way – we won the game 11-10, not by executing a perfect suicide squeeze bunt, but because we were fortunate enough to go into our at bat in the bottom of the last inning tied, with our best three hitters scheduled to bat, and the coach being wise enough to let them swing away – which they were thrilled to do, getting three straight hits to push the winning run across the plate. Now they are feeling pretty good and think they are off the hook. Wait until they find out about my “getting in a run-down” plan for next week!

Opening Day one week late but worth it

2009-05-13T14:55:00.002-04:00

Last weeks opening softball game (Nikki's team, which I am head coach of) got rained out, so we got to play our first game yesterday instead. For three weeks in practice, we worked on basic fielding and aggressive base running. I already knew we had good pitching, so I didn't actually spend much practice time on that. Apparently it was the proper preperation, as we won 15-3, with solid pitching, good fielding, and brave baserunning (actually - brave might be too strong of a word, but some people do run very fast when they are scared to death). Despite a truly clueless umpire whose strike zone ranged from about the top of MY head to the batters thigh (Nikki pitches best right around the knees), Nikki kept her composure and pitched three very strong innings. Taryn finished with two also strong innings. Kayla smacked a solid double that turned into a "Little League Home Run" (anyone who has seen one knows what I mean) and Adrianna belted a legitimate bases loaded triple. We caught three fly balls (Nikki, Kayli, & Adrianna), were the beneficiaries of a horrible "out" call at home plate (the other teams girl easily got under the tag), and even got the final out on a play that the second baseman usually panics and messes up on. With two outs and a runner on 1st base, the batter hits a ground ball to the 2nd baseman (Antonia). She fielded it cleanly, and started to go for the tag, then thought she should run for the base, then considered throwing to the base. The tag out would have been easy, and she would have beat the runner to 2nd equally easily. About two feet away, ball in glove, she decided the right play was to throw it to Alex who was indeed properly covering the base from her shortstop position. Thankfully she has quick reflexes and a good glove hand, and the game was over. They are fun, and it is certainly never a dull moment.

Jesse Manibusen

2009-05-04T08:35:00.002-04:00

Most musicians never achieve "fame", and spend a great deal of time learning and performing the songs of "famous" musicians. Except in very rare cases, on very rare occasions, do we ever even get to meet someone who's songs we might play. I got my chance on Sunday to rub elbows with one of the most internationally famous current musicians of his genre - Christian Praise & Worship musician Jesse Manibusen. One of the first Catholic Retreat songs I ever learned to play/sing was Jesse's "Open My Eyes, Lord" which is still a staple "modern praise" song world wide. I saw him once, as he performed at Jim & Paula's wedding two years ago, but I didn't get to actually meet him. But this past weekend, by a twist of Divine Intervention, he was coincidentally scheduled to be in the neighborhood on precisely the same weekend as Jim & Paula's baby was being baptized. (Jesse and Jim have been close friends for many years. The spare bedroom at Jim & Paula's home had been dubbed "the Jesse Room" as he always stayed there when his travels brought him to the Boston area. Now, as the "Jesse Room" has been converted to "Liam's Nursery" of course Jesse agreed - probably insisted - to perform at the Baptismal Mass. I hope someday Liam, you can grasp the magnitude of the honor of having this world renowned evangelist eagerly fitting your baptism into his busy itinerary - 1 hour after finishing a retreat and hours before flying to Spain.) Jesse played guitar (a beautiful Taylor) and sang all the various hymns (some written by him, some by others) and Mass parts oh so effortlessly and beautifully as only a full fledged and gifted professional can do (and as much as Jim tells me that Jesse is not the only musician in the room who can do that, while I appreciate his compliment, I know the truth). So this time, I made certain that after the Mass ended, I approached Jesse and introduced myself and offered my respects. Then my son Corey, aware of who Jesse was, spotted me with him and joined in the conversation. Corey - an Northeastern University sophmore - is trying to assist the "Brotherhood of Hope" to develop a vibrant campus ministry program at NU and wanted to know if Jesse would be interested in coming to the campus and giving a talk/concert. Of course, this IS what Jesse does for a living, and he enthusiastically advised Corey how to go about setting something up. Needless to say, as good Christians are naturally able to do, Jesse touched many peoples lives in a short two hour period. Jim & Paula were honored with his friendship, Liam was honored by his service, I was honored by hearing stunningly beautiful music direct from it's creative source, and Corey was honored to get encouragement in his efforts at being a part of a ministry. All in a days work for Jesse Manibusen - pray he never tires of his vocation.

Making a Waterfall

2009-05-03T11:24:00.004-04:00

The idea of having a waterfall as part of our garden water-feature has been on the wish list for a number of years. This spring, when we discovered that the pond pump that runs the little pond fountain was kaput, we figured while we had to replace it, we might as well get a bigger one that would be able to run a waterfall. SO off to Lowes we went. $60 for the pump, $20 for the 3/4" diameter hose, and lots of free stone & cinder block from a demolished out-building at Camp Kiwanee later, and it was time to start building. Generally with a project of this sort, I start with a general concept of who it will work and what the finished result will look like. Then I simply start. As I work, I survey the individual stones etc.. and wing it, following my artistic instincts. Stones get placed and replaced and rotated and repositioned until they look right. Usually, I find a combination I like and end up with a result I am happy with. In this case, the result was very pleasing and worked great. Now this morning we discovered the pond only half full - which means either the pond is leaking (I fixed a leak in it last year, which might have re-opened) or the new waterfall is (also a likely possibility). So we refill the pond, but do not turn on the waterfall while we go out for the day. If the pond is low when we return, I know I need to drain and fix it. If not, I will disassemble the waterfall and redesign it - which I don't mind as it is a fun job to create (or re-create) an artistic and functioning structure.

Sue's Birthday

2009-04-08T09:02:00.002-04:00

and I get the day off from work and the sun is out (vaguely). We did the cake &ice cream thing last night with the kids because tonight we will be at Fenway Park watching John Lester & the Red Sox beat the Tampa Bay Rays. The day actually started oddly due to the fact that last night when I re-set the alarm clock so I would be up to get the kids on the bus, I must have bumped the time off by an hour AND I neglected to actually turn the alarm ON. So when we woke up in a panic because the clock said 8 o'clock and we hadn't heard the kids, I ran upstairs to check -- the boys bedroom and Nikki's were vacant, so they must have gotten out the door ok. Now granted, I would bet any amount of money that Joe did not take his ADHD pills or brush his teeth (or wash face & hands and comb hair - God help up). We realized the mistake - corrected the clock, and crawled back into bed for another hour. At the REAL 8 o'clock we heard footsteps upstairs and were curious why Tim was up so early - exept it wasn't Tim, it was Julie (the one I hadn't checked on (which was ok - she has senior priviledges and a 1st period study, so she was going in late and her friends were coming to pick her up at any moment. So by 9:30, Sue has jogged 2 miles, done her yoga, and is ready to go out and about for her mystery day. I will let her post about it later, cause I don't want to spoil the surprize!

Softball 2009

2009-04-06T06:56:00.004-04:00

Last year I assumed that Nikki would play school softball this year - but to my surprise (and Mrs Goodwin's dismay) she decided to stick with town league for another year. Due to enough favorable conditions, I will be able to Head Coach her team. The 2nd good news was that my friend Gordon (who is also the league president) is eager to be my assistant coach. 10 years ago he was my assistant with Coreys (and his son Cullen's) minor league Little League team - the A's. "And a good time was had by all". Two years ago I unofficially helped out as his pitching coach when Nikki was on his team. Now, although he has had plenty of success coaching softball and basketball teams on his own over the last ten years, we get a chance to team up again. I find it humbling that he would be eager to be MY assistant, but I am glad - because I already know that we have the same basic philosophy's and won't be second guessing each others moves or motives. That is a priceless situation in youth sports (isn't THAT a sad statement!). So like 30 years ago when in Hanson I had my buddy Corey Meiggs as my assistant, I will have someone who is a trusted friend to "work" with (really it's more like "play"). Now Gordan is quite different in many ways than Corey M, but the qualities of easy going, cheerful, good humored, and beloved by the kids are very much the same (and thankfully his daughter is a very good player). So this year should be a fun one - without pangs of longing watching from the sidelines. Granted, Gordon and I both need to be conscious of the fact that both of our softball-widow wives could be conspiring against us together on those same sidelines if we get too wrapped up in our fun and forget/neglect them through the season - which is always the big fear (we do tend to get foolishly self-involved during this time of year, and make them suffer unfairly). But maybe he & I can help remind each other. Maybe we can vow to take our wives out more during the season, but probably not together - as we would spend the whole time discussing players & strategies - not a smart idea!
So the challenge isn't about having a competitive team, but about fair & balanced playing time with the full-time people in our lives - and not getting blindly obsessed with this part-time adventure.
PLAY BALL!

bits and pieces

2009-03-29T21:09:00.002-04:00

Hockey season is winding down - we are in playoffs and I've had some pretty good games these past two weekends. I was even complemented on a good job done reffing by one coach.
Softball season & baseball season are ready to start soon - Joe had evaluations and two practices already, while Nikki has Eval Day on saturday.
Burning season began a while ago, and this weekend we had a good bonfire, cleaning up lots of branches and old junk wood and even a decrepit wicker love seat.
Tax refund came and went much too quickly, but the mortgage & utilities are paid so I ain't complaining!
First thunder storm of the year tonight.
Ready for Easter & Spring!

So much for DIY saving money

2009-03-16T09:06:00.002-04:00

Mary & Matt dropped off our new computer system, which used to be owned by Matt's previous company - so it is a top-of-the-line tricked out gaming computer powerhouse (just for a reference point, the graphics card alone is worth around $300 new), 1-year old, 20" flat screen monitor, keyboard, mouse & all cords/wires. Because nothing is ever as easy as it seems, when I set it all up, I discovered that the cord to commect the CPU & the monitor was missing. I am by no means a computer expert, but I do know that you need a VGA cable here. - but maybe there is something I don't know about this and maybe there is some other type of cable that should be used in this situation. So I called Mary and she confirmed (and apologized) that one cable got left behind at her apartment in Billerica. She offered to mail it down, but we both knew that Suzie wasn't gonna wait 3 days to play with her new toy, so I figured I would just run out and but a new cable (how much could it cost?). So with a quick list of other needed items, I headed to Walmart under the theory that they have everything. Well they don't - no VGA cables. Oh well - Radio Shack would have one, and they did have a very expensive gold tipped "replacement VGA cable". Of course, when I got home and opened the package, I discovered that it had two "male" ends instead of the expected "1-male end, 1-female end" version that I thought was industry standard. So I called Staples to verify if they had what I needed (before wasting valuable time & gas) and they answered that they indeed did. When I picked it up, I questioned the clerk because the package said "for 17" or smaller monitors" and ours is 20" - but he assured me it should work, the disclaimer only means it works better with the smaller screens. It was half the price of the radio Shack cord and time was getting tight, so I headed home with it. The Female end with the Male connector screws attached to the monitor, and the Male end with the Female connectors lined up with the Female port with the....... ?what?...... why does this computer port have Female connectors lining up with the Female connectors on the cord???? That's not right! Damn! So now I've spent 1 1/2 hours and $35 and I STILL can't connect the computer & monitor. And now we have to run off to the Play. On the way we call Mary to say we'll drive up to Billerica after the play - if she will be around - and get her voicemail - and she doesn't call back - for four hours (apparently she has a life!). Eventually, desparately, Sue gets ahold of her and works out a plan to meet her in Waltham - 50 minutes away and half a gas tank ($$cha-ching$$) - to eat at Uno's ($$cha-ching$$) - and get the cable - which by the way looks NOTHING like a normal VGA cable!!!!!!

PS: we DID have a nice visit & meal! and now the computer works wonderfully well.

Remember The Alamo

2009-03-06T08:07:00.002-05:00

173 years ago today, The battle of The Alamo ended. I only know this because on the radio this morning they were talking about how Phil Collins has basically given up his regular vocation of music and is obsessively devoting his life and fortune to becoming "All Knowing" about The Alamo (not the usual progression for a British subject - I think you start as a geek and desire to become a Rock Star, not the other way around!). Anyway, today I feel much better about myself and my new Civil War interest - which I dare say has not reached "Obsessive Compulsive" stage.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Alamo

OCRVTHS

2009-03-05T10:13:00.002-05:00

Normally, I would be stressing over whether I should get rid of the truck and pick up a new used vehicle or keep sinking money into repairs. But now Jamie is at OCRVTHS (Old Colony Regional Vocation & Technical High School) learning the automotive trade and the cost of repair work has dropped dramatically. Today he will be working on replacing a broken leaf spring hanger, U-joint for the 4x4 drive, a heat controller, a purge pump & solenoid - and if he has time, will repack the wheel bearings. He will spend about 5-6 hours working on these items. A local garage charges $50 or more per hour (that would be $250-$300 for labor - plus parts which they also mark up). Here, I buy my own parts (if I know what I need) at retail list (which is more than the garages pay, but less than they charge for it), or the school can order the necessary parts.

So - bottom line - I paid about $150 for parts and will have to pay the school a $3 administrative fee, and maybe a bit for miscellaneous bolts or clamps, saving probably $50-$70 on the parts & the afore-mentioned labor charges. At this rate, I can happily keep my old pickup chugging along (and the car, and the van) and avoid the cost, stress and uncertainty of picking up a new junkbox (lets face it - a new car is out of the question for a while).

I need to remember to say thanks to Jamie - so far the only child to earn his keep while still in high school.

Maybe I'll have to convince Nikki to go there & take up plumbing, and Joe to become an electrician. Sure, they may do better with a degree from Brown, but I'd do better if they take up a trade!!!

Monday Morning Blowout

2009-02-16T15:14:00.003-05:00

7:45am, Rt 495NB in Middleboro, my rear driver side tire decided it had had enough- and blew out. Thankfully (and I did actually remember to give thanks to God as I awaited AAA's arrival) it happened to me, on a sunny morning, on a holiday for most folks (light traffic day), the snow banks were gone, and there was plenty of room and solid ground to pull completely off the hiway onto the median strip. I remembered how scared Mary was when it happened a few years ago to her one morning, and was grateful that it was me driving this time. I was thankful that it didn't happen to Corey (he was originally going to borrow the truck and drive to NH for the weekend, but that plan fell through). I was grateful that it didn't happen to me yesterday as I was driving to the rink (as it was, my refereeing partner was late arriving and I had to ref the first two periods alone, and Lord knows nothing happens quickly when you have roadside car troubles). I was glad it didn't happen after work when I would have been on my way to pick up Julie at the train station (she has already suffered enough "alone a on train" trauma. All things considered, it couldn't have happened at a more opportune time & place - so again I say "Thank You God" (although being thankful over a blowout does seem a bit unusual!). Back in the fall, I had attempted to rotate my tires because one of the front ones was starting to wear a bit unevenly, but I could not remove the spare from underneath the truck bed (probably been there since 1995) and settled for simply moving the front tire to the rear (thats the one that blew). Jamie's Vo-Tech school was supposed to swap it when they took it in for some other work, but didn't for fear of breaking badly rusted parts. So I knew trying to change my flat would be futile so I didn't bother wasting my time and I simply called AAA for help. Of course, as I was waiting for the AAA operator to pull up my information, I noticed that my account expired on Feb 1st. She then proceeded to ask me if I was aware of it. Thankfully, she was able to take my credit card information and renew me over the phone from the median strip. I told her exactly were I was located and she informed me that help would arrive in about half an hour. One hour later, the service company driver called explaining that he had just gotten OFF of exit 4 (the exit number I told AAA that I was just BEYOND) and couldn't find me. I politely told him to get back onto the hiway and IMMEDIATELY get into the left hand lane (in my rear view mirror I could see the traffic merging at the end of the ramp). A service minivan pulled up, manned by a clearly inexperienced young man who was completely unable to help me (I had actually anticipated a ramp truck and a lift to the nearest garage). As a final demonstration of his inexperience, he borrowed my cell phone to call his shop for backup! He then gave back my phone and left. In a while, I saw the ramp truck approach (wrong lane) and shoot past, and waited while it went to the next exit and looped around again. Impressively, the new attendant was able to get the spare free, and changed the tires. Of course the spare - tho not a "donut" - was a pickup truck version of one and had permenent indentations on the side wall from years of being tightly clamped under the truck. Instead of prceeding to work, I decided I would be wise to go get an actual replacement tire instead. So I am taking a sick day, bought a used tire for $15, spent $15 more to get it mounted, and finally unloaded the old treadmill I have been lugging around in the back (long story) and got #3.60 for it at the metal recycling place!
All's well that ends well!

It's a good day when...

2009-02-05T16:12:00.003-05:00

you realize that not only did your college son get a good co-op job, but also that he showed up for work the second day too. Yea Corey!

your daughter is in the newspaper and it's not the police log or obituaries. Yea Mary!

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2009/02/05/she_knows_where_the_bodies_lie/?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed7

(well, it's almost the obituaries!!!)

Joe Horoscope

2009-02-05T07:09:00.002-05:00

Joe has discovered Horoscopes! Every morning he clicks whatever button on our DTV remote and reviews all of our daily predictions, going through the entire family - reading and laughing or calling us in to see what's in store for us today - and he knows us all (Julie = Aquarius, Me = Pisces, Sue = Aries, etc.... because I don't know the rest).

So anyway, here I am = Pisces, through & through
(copied from Wikipedia)

Pisces is represented by a pair of fish that are swimming in opposite directions, but remain held together at the mouth by a cord. In astrology, Pisces is considered a water sign, and is one of four mutable signs.^[1] Like the rest of the watery signs, Pisces is considered a "negative", feminine sign, which in Astrology means it is rather introvert.

malleable / impressionable ^[5]

gentle ^[5]

good natured / easygoing ^[5]

compassionate / sympathetic ^[5]^[6]

sensitive ^[5]

dreamy ^[5]

instinctive / intuitive ^[5]

imaginative / artistically able ^[5]^[6]

gullible / naive / easily led ^[5]

spiritual ^[5]^[6]

escapist ^[5]

selfless ^[6]

Attribute
Likes	Feeling appreciated, feeling loved, freedom, stability, mystical settings/enchantment, dreaming, having their input valued, being unique
Dislikes	Feeling vulnerable, having no goals to move toward, feeling invalidated, being criticized, illiteracy, noisy scenes and displays, having no sense of structure
Ideal careers	caring for the needy as in the fields of medicine or veterinary medicine ^[5] • anything related to the sea ^[5] • acting ^[5] • psychics or mystics ^[5] • religion ^[5] • cooking ^[5] •

Stuck

2009-01-31T15:41:00.004-05:00

The day started fun enough - Sue & I (and a handful of other parents) served breakfast at 6:00am for Julies Senior Class Lockin - 65 sleep deprived 18 year olds looking for bacon and pancakes and bacon and english muffins and bacon and sausage and bacon eggs and ........
Needless to say, the bacon ran out fast but the kids were grateful for the rest.

Then I got stuck having to run to Hanson to resupply the rabbit and chicken feed, but made the most of it with a long fun visit at Nenna's house where numerous brothers & sisters and nieces and nephews meet for saturday morning breakfast.

Then I got stuck having to do the dump run.

Then the 3 youngest talked me into bringing them skating at John's Pond - the summertime local swimming hole. Of course I got stuck tightening everybodies skates which I hate doing! (and I wasn't even skating myself). In the winter the pond is inhabited by ice fishermen, nighttime skimobilers, and daytime skaters but the parking lot is not plowed, and the sloping entrance can become quite icy - a fact I remembered about 1 second too late. While the kids slipped and skidded around the pond (OK I admit it vaguely resembled skating) I tried to move the van out of it's spot - to no avail. I attempted all of the typical maneuvers - rocking, sand, even a piece of rug under the rear tire while Jamie & his friend Dylan pushed. Fortunately, an ice fisherman with a 4x4 truck and an emergency toe rope that he had never found the opportunity to use before now was happy to save the day. So with a little slipping and sliding and spinning of tires - and Jamie and Dylan being converted into traffic stoppers - the truck, followed closely by the van, skidded out onto the dry road. But at least the kids had fun (and I came out of it with a story with a happy ending!).

more E.W.E.

2009-01-19T18:55:00.002-05:00

Mary delivered the entire bundle of 187 (275 pages) of Civil War Letters written by great great great uncle Erastus. Let the transcribing and discoveries begin. I already discovered that he knew his future wife Harriet (married in 1867) before he left for his original 3-month tour in April 1861, which answers one question but raises many more.

Weight loss is anti-American

2009-01-06T08:18:00.004-05:00

I do realize that my job as the support person of someone who is on a weight loss program is vastly easier than that of the actual weight loss person. Even so, I think I can see why it is such a difficult task to succeed at. A large part of it is because so much of the psycology of it is backwards to what we are raised to believe - that bigger is better, that we want more while working less.

In America we work at our jobs to make more money so we can afford to live a better lifestyle. We want a bigger house with a larger yard, and we want to relax and cookout and drink beside our pool - all while hired hands take care of the mowing and pool cleaning as we ourselves avoid manual labor ( a sign of success). Instead of preparing our own meals, we prefer to eat at restaurants where the portions are so huge that no matter how much we stuff ourselves we couldn't possibly finish it all (a sign of success). Even our "sayings" tend to lead us in the opposite direction. It does seem wrong to say

"I look forward to seeing "less" of you in the future"
or
"you are climbing "down" the ladder of success"
or
"congratulations on your "small" accomplishment"

Sports teams who lose more than everybody else are scorned and made fun of and their coaches are fired. Downsizing in business is due to lack of success. Trimming the waste and tightening the belt means you are suffering through poor times but you hope to eventually return to being able to afford to splurge at will. Not having to perform manual labor is a professional goal and a sign of job success, so needing to go to a gym must be a sign of failure.
Virtually everything that shouts "AMERICAN DREAM!", a weight loss program say's "BAD, BAD, BAD". No wonder it is so hard for people to successfully lose weight and maintain that weight loss. On top of any of the physiological struggles going on internally, externally they are being UnAmerican - and that is just too much peer pressure to overcome for many.
Well, on her 1-year anniversary of her second serious attempt at personal downsizing, I want to congratulate Sue for being a big loser, for being a shinking violet, for being small minded, for running away from her problem, and for working like a dog. Keep up the good work.
xoxoxoxoxox

New Years at Gabe's

2009-01-01T10:33:00.005-05:00

The annual New Years Eve party at Jim & Paula's got cancelled mid-afternoon due to the white-out blizzard that blew throughout the afternoon. Gabe and Una had planned on still going over, but when their own babysitter bailed out, J & P decided to brave the elements and go to G & U's house to ring in the New Year. As we too are on the south shore, and Jim had not directly spoken to us (just a voicemail) nor heard back from us yet (Sue inadvertantly left her cellphone at home while we were out and about) Gabe called my phone to ask if we got the news yet, and if we still wanted to come up for the evening. Having already been out playing in my 4x4 truck (took Jamie out to lunch & the mall for his birthday - Happy 16th Birthday Jamie), and because the weather report said the snow would end around 9:00pm, we said "of course we will be there! I love my 4-wheel drive". So the evening was a bit quieter & more low-key than most past New Years Parties, but it was still very nice - let's call it more intimate. Sue decided to leave Johnny Depp behind so it was just the 3 couples - J & P, D & S, and G & U and thier 4 children. A bowl of Chili, Meatballs, Chips & Dip, a few drinks, a vicious game of boggle, a couple of phone calls to/from Corey (at Times Square or thereabouts) and it was officially 2009.

Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas, Erastus

2008-12-29T21:54:00.004-05:00

The day after Christmas was a day off for me, so as a present to myself I decided to return to visit the Boston Public Library and the letters of great-great-great uncle Erastus. I even brought reinforcements - Sue, Mary & Aunt Maria joined in to read the 188 letters from 1861-1865. They are fascinating to read and attempt to put into perspective, and although the four of us skimmed through the 5 folders in about 2 hours, it was too hard to narrow down which ones we should get copies of. Thanks to Maria's pragmatism, we all decided "what the heck - we'll ask for copies of ALL of them"! The archivist at the library explained that they are short of staff during the holidays but should be able to have the copies done within a few weeks. Then Mary informed me she has been trying to arrange with the South Carolina Historical Society to get copies of some of their collection. So my Erastus Christmas will last for a while as I wait in anticipation to have these 145 year old letters in my possession to pour over and dwell upon. What a fun new hobby!

Christmas Goodies

2008-12-25T21:20:00.003-05:00

A Kelty backpack, a Stephan Stills CD, a Pat Metheney CD, jeans, Guitar strings, Ukelele strings, a genealogy book with a maternal pedigree back to 1573, various candy AND.......

a Beatles Monopoly game that Corey & Julie insisted we play in the evening. Now everybody knows that Monopoly is NOT a genteel game - it's vicious and cut-throat. Sue dropped out early and tried to make brownie points with her son by giving him all her property & cash, leaving he & Julie to gang up on me to attempt to crush me into oblivion.

But it was not to be! With a combination of shrewd manuvering and good luck of the dice I CRUSHED THEM, refusing to allow them to make an illegal out-of-turn trade by singing "I told you before, no, you can't do that" and making THEM sing "I'm A Loser".

YES, it was a Fab day!

(oh ya, I suppose I should mention everyone else made out ok too)

Company Christmas Spirit

2008-12-24T09:18:00.003-05:00

Our new Marketing VP was bemoaning the fact that there appears to be no sense of Christmas Spirit around the company. Well, because the boss was not going to frivolously spend money on decorations, I felt that we should take what was available to us and make do. A few ornaments from home, and a potted plant from the cafeteria seemed to do the trick. VP Neil was very impressed and intends to keep it in his office until after New Years.

So despite the economic downturn and bleak times for the construction and cabinetry industry....

MERRY CHRISTMAS

family Christmas party 2008

2008-12-21T19:57:00.004-05:00

Another year, another annual family reunion/Christmas party/jam session.

Due to lots of snowfall, attendence was down but a fun time was had by all who did attend. Most notably were a few newcomers. Tommy Tobin brought along his new girlfriend - a young lady he met at bluegrass festivals and very sweet & pretty. Nephew Chris introduced the family to his girlfriend - a fellow teacher at the school he teaches at, who (sadly) I didn't actually get to chat with as we had to leave early and they arrived just before we left. Seldom seen relatives Neil and daughter Layla, and Eric with sons Matt and Sean made it to the party this year. David, Tommy & I managed to get all of Julies songs in before it was time to scoot.

Christmas wasn't always merry

2008-12-17T07:09:00.003-05:00

I took Joe out shopping for his Secret Santa gift. Because there are so many siblings, we decided some years ago to have them all draw names and buy one Secret Santa gift for that sibling only. That way none of them had to spend $100+ on gifts. So instead Joe only had to borrow $20 from me to get his one gift. As we were driving he reminisced about the first two years that we did the Secret Santa routine, he was upset because each time he drew Mary's name - and he didn't like Mary back then, so he didn't want to buy her a present. It wasn't fair that he got her two years in a row and wasn't alowed to trade. When I asked him why he didn't like Mary in the beginning, he somberly replied "because she looked a lot like one of my Foster Mothers". Joe had spent a few years very much NOT beloved.

Thankfully, life has apparently gotten better for little Joe, he & Mary get along fine, and Christmas will be very merry for him this year - and not because he drew someone else for Secret Santa this year.

So make sure to acknowledge how fortunate we all are, do something kind for those less fortunate, and then make certain you remember to have a Merry Christmas.

80 years is a long time

2008-12-14T20:27:00.008-05:00

Now the fields are all four lanes
And the moon's not just a name
Are you more amazed at how things change
Or how they stay the same
And do you sit here on this porch and wonder
How the time flies by
Or does it seem to barely creep along
With 75 Septembers come and gone
(Cheryl Wheelers "75 Septembers")

My mother turns 80 on Dec 16th, which is quite an accomplishment considering all she has had to endure - born before the Great Depression, The War to end all wars, Rock & Roll, etc.... raising (to varying degrees!) 11 children (8 born, 3 "steps") into successful adults (to varying degrees!)
I know how many times I joke that either Nikki or I will need to be dead before she gets through highschool. I wonder how often Mom said that about any and all of us.

So on the 13th, the children of this woman known by some as Edna, Nenna, twinny, Mrs. Blauss, Mrs. Howland, or even Golde (the part she once played in a local production of Fiddler On The Roof) threw her a surprize birthday party at Hanson's Congregational church where she is a Deacon. Over 100 people - a diverse group of old friends, neighbors, relatives, co-workers - showed up to toast her.

Needless to say, in the beginning there was much brainstorming - sowing of ideas, threshing those ideas, throwing the chafe into the fires of hell, arm wrestling and name calling and pulling rank to narrow down the final decisions and details. We re-itterated what we have known all our lives - Wes (the first-borne) is the grand concept guy, Laurie (the eldest daughter) is the enforcer, Donnie, Marlene, Eric & David (the middle 4) are the snipers (keeping a safe distance and firing a few well-aimed shots now and then), Debbie (the littlest Blauss) tries to keep up but keeps getting knocked down (but God love her she keeps getting back up and rejoining the fray), and Heather (the baby - and despite the improbability of Mom being 45 and on her 2nd marriage - possibly the only "planned" baby of the lot of us) is the one who in the end gets her way because as the baby, she is the cutest and knows instinctively how to get what she wants. It's been that way since the day we were each born, and we are comfortable in our roles 35 to 58 years later.

Needless to say, in the end it was a wonderful celebration, all went smoothly, everybody had a good time and we all lived to tell about it. Mom, ever the "happy-tear" queen, stayed well hydrated - being congratulated by people she's known since school days to little "India" who isn't in school yet. Without exception, every one of the 75 (or so) non-relatives who had been invited to attend felt tremendously honored that THEY were included in the celebration. We could have easily invited triple that number and still found more who wished they could have attended. Wes, in his Director/Producer role, greated guests and stood in the wings as the actors did their scenes. Laurie and her son Chris ran and narrated the power-point "This is your life" presentation. I supplied, set up and broke down the PA equipment, chatted up the semi-famous local legend saxaphone player Dana Colley (check out the former band Morphine, or more recently, The Twinemen) and his daughter, and received visit & kayak invitations from old neighbors the Mahoney's. Marlene & David mingled, Eric stayed home in NH (his wife a longtime sufferer of emotional/mental disorders although the rest of the "married to a Blauss support group" in-laws - Joanne, Sue & Dawn -who spent most of the evening in the downstairs kitchen, waitressing snacks, and sneaking Absolut into their own punch glasses, admire her as the most clever genius of all). Debbie & Heather did their best to make certain everything went the way it should (which is quite a trick for two people who don't necessarily agree on how things SHOULD go).

Thankfully, an emergency conference of the organizing committee had decided that morning to eliminate the "Surprize" part of the party. The liability of having "unexpected overwhelming emotion syndrome" be the cause of death and therefore not actually officially making it to 80 just seemed to big a risk. SMART MOVE! Knowing it was coming, 8 hours in advance, gave her the opportunity to absorbe it a bit instead of flattening her like a steamroller. Aside from the 'long-lost-friend' type atmosphere, the highlight came from nephew Chris' description of an "Edna Compliment!" and her propensity to unitentionally insult relatives. Her two most famous ones were: once telling Heather " you could be a Miss America - if only you had a talent", and when Chris commented that his young adult club at the church had only one male member - her response was "who would that be?" There was also a surprize performance from the church based vocal group "The Hearts" - an a'cappella womens group that Mom was a member of for many years. They had, unbeknownst to the rest of us, composed a tribute song for her and sang to her at the end of the evening.

Well, the end of the official evening, anyway. Some of us siblings, steps, and in-laws needed a drink (no alcohol at the church - Congregationalists, remember?) and gathered at JJ's afterwards. Every good event team holds a review session after the event, right?
(sadly, THAT story can't be told, at least not where certain non-attending relatives might discover them!!!!)

Like moths to a flame

2008-11-26T12:50:00.002-05:00

Some people just attract attention. Without particularly trying, they can enter a room and other people seem to instinctively know that this is somebody worth paying attention too. This person treats everybody equally – the high-powered executive or the cleaning person – and they both feel that they are being treated with respect, kindness and friendliness. Of course I’ve known this about Sue forever (forever being since she was 15 years old) and it’s one of the many things I love about her and never get tired of witnessing. It happens in restaurants (one day a confused young waiter sheepishly confessed to her “I know you must be somebody famous by the way everybody else greats you, but I just don’t know who you are”). It happens at parties (just the other night a young man – coincidentally our sons EXACT age – was being mesmerized by her story telling and pleaded for the honor of hearing the next one which she initially was reluctant to tell on the basis of his young age - 23). But today was a bit more comical – at my work. As it happens, I messed up and took the wrong vehicle to work – so after bringing Joe & Jamie for a doctor’s appointment, she had to stop by and swap car with van. Our new marketing VP noticed the van pull in and then this woman with two children approaching the front door. He immediately pegged her as a potential purchaser of our fine kitchen cabinetry and leaped into action – greeting her cheerfully at the door, offering hot chocolate to the kids, and attempting to get a quick idea of what she might be interested in. OK – admittedly, this wasn’t the typical case of her “aura” drawing people in, but more a reflection of how desperate the cabinet industry is now-a-days. But despite Mr VP’s initial disappointment at losing the prospect of a sale (he knows how much I make) he continued on chatting happily and pushing the hot chocolate for the kids. Even when she is saying “no” to a man, they can’t resist the desire to be in her presence!

She's a Rainbow

2008-11-25T07:03:00.003-05:00

Have you seen her all in gold
Like a queen in days of old
She shoots colors all around
Like a sunset going down
Have you seen the lady fairer
She comes in colors everywhere;
She combs her hair
She's like a rainbow

(Rolling Stones - 1967)

It's not a perfect world!

2008-11-24T07:08:00.002-05:00

I learned this Sunday from two sources - a 7 year old Mite-C player at about 6:15am (see - already not a perfect world especially after only 3-1/2hrs sleep) and a girls team coach at around noon.
The title for this post is a direct quote from the coach who tried to explain why I shouldn't have called a penalty on his team for illegally substituting for a player coming off of a penalty. His excuse was based on the odd way the penalty bench is set up in this particular rink (his home rink where his team plays half it games) is not clearly separated from their players bench and therefore is "not a perfect world" (he did not dispute the rule, or dispute the fact that they broke it). It did make me wish I had realized this eternal truth earlier so that I might have used it as words of comfort to the earlier distraught 7 year old. He had been involved in one of those Mite-C collisions (one can't turn, one can't stop = CRASH!). As I knelt next to the crying child, his coach came to help him up and asked the boy "what happened". The from-the-mouths-of babes reply was "that big kid checked me into the God Damned boards!"

To sum it all up....

2008-11-23T19:31:00.003-05:00

St. Lucia & Sandals Resorts are great - I recommend them to anyone. But as wonderful a location it was, the best part was remembering how much fun it is to adventure and explore with Sue and how easy it was to be in love with her. Certainly the kids and our daily life in general are adventures of their own sort, and we still love each other - but to be so far away just the two of us removed the mountains of obstacles and have-to's that typically make it hard to see our wonderful forest for all of our mundane trees. Once upon a time, we were able to go hiking, or to the beach, or simply out to eat without fretting about who was babysitting or who had to be picked up when, or if we had it in our budget. So for a whole week it was magically like old times. Although I wasn't perfect way back then, and certainly I have not fixed any flaws since then (the word regress might fit here), it was so easy to be at my best on our vacation. Now the challenge is to retain the feelings of renewal as we navigate the same-old same-old routines. I'll keep trying to live up to the challenge because I know how worth it she is. The proof is still fresh in my mind.

Pirate Night at St Lucia Sandals

2008-11-19T12:56:00.002-05:00

Fire breathing men, fire eating women, limbo dancers all followed the St Lucian drum semi-circle. Watch and be amazed!

http://picasaweb.google.com/don.sueblauss/StLucia2008Video#5269611981642218306

OK - I know that THIS is what you really want to hear

2008-11-17T19:06:00.007-05:00

by now you are already sick of hearing about how wonderful and perfect our trip was. You realize it couldn't possibly be ALL great. So this should make you feel better.

day 1 - we had to get out of bed at 2:00am and drive to Logan Airport

day 1 - we weren't on the pick up list at the St Lucia airport

day 1 - Sue didn't get her cold towel when we arrived at the resort

day 2 - there was another guitar player at the "Staff/ Guest" talent show

day 2 - they didn't declare a talent show "winner" (and I totally would have won it)

day 3 - the hungover "other" guitar player and his grumpy buddy's joined us on the horseback ride

day 3 - I caught a cold/sore throat

day 4 - I got an earful/mouthfull/nosefull/swimsuitfull of sand&surf while body surfing

day 4 - I lost my "Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame" bandanna in the surf (and it was doing such a fine job of preventing the top of my head from getting sunburned up to then)

day 4 - I got kicked out of the ocean by the lifeguards because the waves were too rough (not for me, but the other body surfers must have looked like they were out of their league)

day 5 - an hour & 15 minutes and Mass was not yet finished

day 5 - I got kicked out of the small pool (who knew they treated it at 9:00pm?)

day 5 - a random cloud on the horizon interfered with an otherwise perfect sunset

day 6 - Englishmen in their 60's keep informing us of everything they are certain we don't know

day 6 - another random cloud on the horizon interfered with another otherwise perfect sunset

day 6 - the "Pirate" ship sailing across the sunset didn't actually attack the yacht

day 7 - the 4 mile drive to the snorkling boat took a half hour

day 7 - I wasn't allowed to pretend to be a shark while snorkling

day 8 - we had to leave

day 8 - climbing to 38000ft and decending again is very painful when you have water in your ears (each time)

day 8 - Miami Airport Customs

day 8 - Boston weather 45 degrees & rainy

WOW! Suddenly I realize what a horrible time I must have had (thank goodnes I didn't realize it at the time!)

There now - don't you feel better - knowing the true suffering we had to endure? - after we tried so hard to make you all jealous? - aren't you glad it was us and not you?

All that being said, knowing what I know now..... lets go back tomorrow!!!!!

it was strange to spend a week:

2008-11-17T18:31:00.003-05:00

(except for a few rare occasions - which simply served to impress the point)
not really needing a watch
not really needing a wallet
eating whatever you wanted
eating more than you ever wanted
drinking whatever / whenever / wherever you wanted
wondering if I'd get determined enough to get my moneys worth and really drunk (sorry to disappoint you all, but I did whip Sue a pingpong while I have a mild buzz)
being served by genuinely happy friendly wait staff EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME
being greeted by genuinely happy friendly people everywhere we went - both on and off the resort
looking at flowers growing (outdoors) in November
looking at bikini's EVERYWHERE in November (heck, at anytime of year)
realizing that it was impossible to NOT look at bikini's - they were truly unescapable
realizing that the women were not bashful/concerned/offended
and that the men were not learing/creepy/offensive
where each days top priority for many people was to claim the select lounge chairs early enough
choosing to do things on a whim, or nothing at all - and it was all acceptable.
wondering how such a small, poor country produced so many top-rate cover bands
wondering when I became so bad at pool (I used to be ok)
not really worrying about the kids back home
wondering why we didn't do this sooner
realizing that if we did this years ago, we would have had many years of disappointing vacations!
trying to figure out how/how soon we can get back again

a view with a room

2008-11-17T18:10:00.006-05:00

Sue wanted a balconey with an ocean view. This was the view.

Thankfully there was a room attached to it! The room was very basic, but with the balcony, view, and entire resort just steps away - who needed more? It had a private outside entrance (where occasionally there was a tiny tree frog sitting on the railing, waiting for us) so it did not feel like a typical plain hotel room.

The sound of the ocean was the constant "white noise" for us to sleep by. Interestingly enough, you could clearly hear the sound of the ocean waves from inside the bathroom too. There was a vent above the tub that vented out to the balcony and chaneled the ocean noises in.

"Trust in God" vs "Prepare for the day of Reckoning"

2008-11-14T12:50:00.010-05:00

Through careful planning I managed to save up the the necessary final payment for our trip just before the economy nosedived. I then hemmed and hawed about whether to use up my vacation days while we were only working 4 day weeks. If I used them up to get 5 days pay, I would have none left by the time we went - meaning taking an unpaid vacation. If I DIDN'T use them up and the company went under before we left, I would never get to collect them and would have blown that money. Unfortunately for many - but thankfully for me - when they layed off 75% of the workforce, the rest of us got to work 40 hr weeks again (2 weeks before my vacation departure date). I fought off the "smart/safe" logic that said if we cancelled our trip and got our money back, we would be able to catch up on all overdue bills and have a small reserve. I half-kidded about wondering if I would have a job to come back to when we came back.

Well, I had faith and trusted that I would get to collect my vacation pay after my vacation, and that we "deserved" this trip and owed it to ourselves - no matter what happened. God would provide for us. "No pressure, no worries" as they love to say often on St. Lucia. So I put work out of my mind for a whole wonderful week.

Yesterday I trustingly drove to my job and was thankful to see that indeed I did still have one.

Phhhewwww!!! Thank You God!

Today my boss informed all of us who still remained that our wages were being reduced by 10% until business improved.

we're BACK!

2008-11-13T10:17:00.008-05:00

despite the fact that the very first sign you see when you walk off the tarmack and into the St Lucia airport states "If you wish to cancel your return flight, call 800-xxx-xxxx".

I am assuming that you all realize that we went to St. Lucia, W.I. (windward islands) for a week. Sandals Resort - Luxury Included Vacations (all-inclusive/all adult - you really must try it). Yes, we voted - and then skipped the country!

I will post more eloquent thoughts as we get re-acclimated to the real world again, but for starters here is a favorite photo that captures the experience quite well (being all-inclusive means that I was a major gluton for the first few days but I eventually mastered moderation!)

I title this shot "first breakfast in paradise".

BTW - Although Suzie's weight watcher "goal" was to "maintain", mine was to gain 5 pounds. I don't know yet how she did, but let me assure you - I succeeded!

(for the full photo album go here http://picasaweb.google.com/don.sueblauss/StLucia2008#

Please vote FOR somebody

2008-11-04T09:03:00.002-05:00

My friend CRM sent a multi-forwarded "letter" explaining to us why we should not vote for Obama. I found this rather funny coming from (not originating from) a guy who hasn't voted in 30 years. If he DID vote, I assume it would be against Obama

Here's what I believe. there is NOBODY who goes into that job truly prepared for it. There is no way for one person to get all the experience needed ahead of time. It is an "On The Job Training" position. Therefore, like most creative jobs - you need to pick somebody who has a vision of what the future should look like, enthusiasm to pursue it, and an ability to sway people to cooperate with him/her to get there.
(as a comparison, I look at my Youth Ministry friends. All want good programs, but some actually envision what it looks like before they take the position. They are more likely to succeed.)
ALL politicians will make mistakes, or compromise on something they would prefer NOT to compromise on. Some will vote against a bill - not because of the particular issue, but because of all the attached strings. I don't think that being in the military automatically makes one better qualified to be commander-in-chief. It might give one an edge regarding on-going strategy of remaining in a conflict, but might limit ones views on how to get OUT of one or AVOID the next.

Obama has excited people - McCain has not.
Even the big money republicans who have the most to gain by a McCain victory, are reluctant to donate as much money to his campaign. Basically - Republican Bigwigs decided early on that McCain was a risky investment. If he can't win support from his own people, how can he negotiate successfully with Congress or foriegn governments for support of his ideas. Obama has proven the ability to convince people to believe he can & will succeed. This is an ability you can't teach a person. He can learn the details and methods as he goes. McCain cannot learn to be persuasive, no matter how experienced he might be at the details.

In short - I believe that Obama will listen more open-mindedly to a wider range of opinions, and make choices that will benefit a wider cross-section of Americans. I believe he has a vision of how America & Americans can be better, stronger, respected that is more closely in tune with my own. Although I admire McCains personal strength and loyalty to his country, he has not convinced me that he has a vision that drives him.

People who have a "Vision" can see what the end result should be. They might not know yet how to get there, but given a chance, they are more likely to figure it out. They are more likely to persuade others to cooperate with them in figuring it out.

I believe that I (and most people I know - average Americans) will be better off with Obama as President. Four years from now I might change my mind, but today - I'm voting for Obama.

If you believe in McCain, by all means -and with my blessing - vote FOR him.
But this "voting against somebody" idea is counter-productive.

Halloween party for Breast Cancer Awareness

2008-10-25T22:16:00.003-04:00

We went, we impressed, we didn't win

(but Suzie Q's udders did actually dispense milk!)

(Barney & Betty Rubble - what acute couple)

testing 1, 2, 3

2008-10-22T18:30:00.003-04:00

just testing out our new scanner/printer

pastel chalk by D. B. circa 1973

bonus points to the first person who can identify the subject in the drawing

(employees & relatives are not eligible to win)

I know the answers, if only I could figure out the questions

2008-10-21T06:19:00.003-04:00

Like all people, taking a test brings to me an amount of anxiety - not debilitating, not even an obstacle, more like simply unwelcome thoughts that I know I should just ignore. Every year, all USAHockey referees have to attend a seminar and take a 50 question True/False closed book test. Before that, we have all already taken a 100 question open book test online, and started ref'ing games - so our heads should be pretty well into the sport by now. So last night I attended the last Mass. District USAHockey Seminar of the current season - a special session for level 3 officials only (guys & gals who have been ref'ing for at least 4 years - many like me in the 20+ range). We were mildly scolded over the appalling fact that apparently 66% of level 3 officials failed the level 3 test last year (it occurred to me that although no names were named, I think I've worked with a few of them!). One guy spent only 7 minutes to answer the 50 questions (he got 16 answers correct, and bounced back to beginner level 1 for his lack of effort).This year the instructrs were trying a new teaching techinque - we would all break down into groups of 6, each be given a copy of last years test, and one answer sheet per group. Using whatever resources we had at our disposal (rule books, manuals, cellphones, laptops, whatever) we were to answer the 50 questions. Whichever group was first to answer all 50 correctly would win a prize. So far in all previous seminars, the fastest time was 47 minutes. I was at a table with a gentleman about my age and a teen-20 kid, while across the aisle was a table of two teens and a 20something guy. As the kid next to me moved across to that table I thought to myself I should sit with the teenagers because everybody knows that teenage boys know everything there is to know and are never wrong - so I (and the guy next to me) joined them. Like most groups, we answered most questions quickly and confidently while a few elicited some amount of discussion and debate. Maybe six questions prompted somebody to open the rulebook to try to find the answer. We were one of the quicker groups to present our answers, but were told we had two wrong (but not told which two) - so had to go figure it out and correct ourselves. I know that there are always questions that are confusing due to the way they are worded - maybe/ maybe not trick questions, but certainly ones that can cause you to question the question ("what are they asking?"). I had already circled a few that I was suspicious of the first time through, so I immediately went back to revisit them. Almost immediately I had one of those "Oh, Duh!" moments and pointed out why #2 was false, not true. The other 5 looked, said "Oh, Duh", changed our answer and searched for the other incorrect answer. We had a few suspects, so we changed one more and brought it back again. "Still not 100% correct". I went back again to the one that bothered me the most, so we broke it down piece by piece as picky and technically as we could. With less than unanimous agreement, I convinced my teammates that we should change the answer and try again. BINGO! And we have a winner - and in record time of 43 minutes - DESTROYING the previous record time.

And we all got a nice Mass - USAHockey T-shirt for our efforts.

Then we got to take the real test. From experience I know that the most commonly missed questions from the previous year are always reworded and included into the current years test, and we had just disected last years test thoroughly. So despite the previous admonishment to take our time and think critically about our answers, I opted for the advise once given to me by the late great Referee-in-chief Milt Kaufman - "take the test like you are ref'ing a game. You don't have time to sit and dwell when you are on the ice. The situation happens and you make the call. If you know the rules, you will instictively make the right call." And of course if you DON'T know the rules, no amount of time spent thinking about them is going to help you. This has served me well for about 25 years, and I was the second person to hand in my completed test. As I stepped out of the meeting room into the hallway, I met my two District supervisors. I jokingly noted that I took longer than 7 minutes, and admitted that I will be really embarassed if I fail it this year. Bill laughed and said "No way, not you" and turned to Skip and said "He aced it last year you know". Apparently, that was noteworthy although it was a bit unnerving to think that out of a few hundred officials they oversee and the amount of incidences they had to address over the course of a year that he would remember what my last years test score was.

Referees should never 2nd guess themselves

2008-10-20T14:32:00.004-04:00

"PeeWee C" games can be interesting because most of the kids are being allowed to check for the first time, and they aren't very good at it yet. They don't know how to give a hit, or take one. It leaves lots of leeway for a referee to decide what call to make (or not) and what level of severity to apply to it. So many times just this weekend I could have been choosing between "Charging" (aka taking a run at a player), "Boarding" (hitting an opponent violently into the boards), "Checking From Behind" (considered the most dangerous offense of all), or "Late/Avoidable Check" (self-explanatory) - if only the checker had actually hit the checkee instead of plastering himself into the boards when the intended victim sidestepped him, or he simply missed his intended victim (I say "him/he" because although girls do indeed play at this level, they are rarely so blatently out to kill). So when I witnessed what should be considered a check from behind, I blew the whistle, signaled the offender to the penalty box, and proceeded to skate in that direction. One trick a referee has at his disposal is to wait until he reaches the penalty box area before announcing the actual penalty being called - giving him the opportunity to mull over the options and pick the best one without committimg too early to a regretable call. So on my way I decided it was really mostly a shove, not a meanspirited check, and although no physical harm done it was worthy of a penalty so to send a message. I decided a 1-1/2 minute minor "Boarding" call would be sufficient, instead of issueing the 1-1/2 minute minor plus 10 minute misconduct required for a "Check From Behind" call. The Coach started arguing with me (in itself worthy of a penalty) as soon as I got within talking distance, but I was in a good enough mood so I explained that they were getting off easy because my first inclination was to call the "Check from behind" so therefore they were catching a break. Now clearly I didn't realize I was dealing with a very smart coach, who explained to me that the check wasn't hard enough to qualify as "violently into the boards". Now I've been wrong before as a referee (thinking I had made a mistake when i actually hadn't) and this clearly was another instance when I was proved to be wrong. Therefore I told the coach that I was willing to grant his wish and NOT call the penalty a 1-1/2 minute Boarding. I would revert to the proper call for the infraction - a 1-1/2 minute minor plus 10 minute misconduct for the Check From Behind (which also requires a second player to go into the box - someone has to come out when the other kid's first minor penalty expires but his misconduct starts). There - I'm happy - I finally got the call right for the type of hit delivered.
(I'm not sure the coach has yet figured out what hit HIM yet, tho')
(shame I wasn't in a bad mood - I would have given the coach a Bench Minor penalty to top it all off, but he had already made my day and probably a few more to come, and that would have just been plain vindictive on my part and I am supposed to remain calm & professional throughout all)

my brush with radio fame

2008-10-16T21:58:00.002-04:00

Joe & I pulled into the 4-H club parking lot for his chicken club meeting and the first thing I noticed was the abnormal number of vehicles. It was a small sporatic club last year, but apparently this year shall be different - lots of new members. One of the new members neighbor is a former longtime 4-H'er who is going to be an assistant leader. Her Boyfriend attended with her, bearing many gifts for the club. T-shirts, mouse pads, pens, event tickets - all bearing the call letters of the Boston radio stations he works for. When introduced I knew immediately who he was, and was bummed that I had actually chosen to NOT were my Beatles sweatshirt - because he is the Sunday morning host of a radio show that showcases them and offers lots of trivia. I listen to him often while I drive to or from the rink. He promised to have something for me at next months meeting. Julie already wants it - not even knowing what it is (other than "SWAG"). Maybe she will come and audit the class!! 4-H IS cool!

... because it feels so good when I stop!

2008-10-15T13:49:00.002-04:00

You know the old routine that goes
Question: "Why do you do (insert torturous activity here)?"
Answer: "Because it feels so good when I stop!"

Well it doesn't always work out like that. I refereed 4 games in the morning (3 by myself - no partner - and it is a simple equation that having only half of the typical two referees means double the skating at twice as hard for the one referee). Then we went hiking in the Blue Hills for 2 hours. The skating I handled rather well, then the legs were a bit sore during the hiking. But sitting for an hour in the restaurant - 'tho at first seeming like "it feels so good when I stop!"- was a killer when it was time to stand up and move again.

After 25 years, you would think no more surprises

2008-10-15T13:08:00.003-04:00

But of course you would be wrong. No - not the marriage (not for this post anyway) - I've been refereeing hockey for close to the amount of time we've been married (actually maybe longer - I'm not sure anymore). So far after a month of games, it has been fairly calm and uneventful. The only noteworthy (barely) instances have been tossing a Bantam coach from a game - for protesting too loud and too long over a "NON-Icing" call, and a new unexpected twist - the first time I ever had a parent from the stands demand a time-out and cause his team a penalty (and I thought I had already seen it all - silly me).
So it's during a Peewee game (everyone is about 13 years old), it's halfway through the game and as I'm about to drop a faceoff, the league director calls me to the rink gate. The blue team's goalies father is insisting we stop the game so his daughter - the goalie - can change masks. He claims the one she's wearing doesn't fit right and is hurting her. I suggest that in 5 minutes the period will end and there will be a short timeout. At this the father's anger level starts rising and warns me that this is not an acceptable solution. I advise the director and the father that the only other option is to call a "Delay of Game" penalty on the blue team and change the mask, but of course I should really skate over and let the blue teams coach know what is going on. So I skate across to the players bench, where the blue teams coach askes "what's the problem?". I explain the mask situation, and he asks "can't we wait until the end of the period?". I reply that was my idea, but Dad is insistant, and if the mask is getting switched now - they will have to take the penalty. The coaches look at each other, then the director who has arrived with the new mask, then the goalie, then at each other, shrugged and said "we'll send somebody over to the penalty box". I'm guessing that they had never had a parent force them to take a team penalty. I can't wait to see what else I haven't seen yet!

Canoes & picnic tables don't mix

2008-10-15T11:22:00.005-04:00

While Suzie, Joe & I were leisurely paddling around the pond, Jamie was fishing and Tim was lounging along the shore. Auntie Maria walked down and while chatting with the boys, watched three young guys (20ish types) toss a picnic table from the town beach off the town docks into the pond. They then proceeded to sit on the beach just watching it float. Maria (former teacher, current member of the committee that oversees the town beach, and next door neighbor to the beach) walked over to confront the boys. Using I'm sure her well-honed "scornfull teacher" voice got the boys to agree that they would indeed pull the table out of the water. 10 minutes later they were still watching it from the beach. Having finished our canoe trip, and having been brought up to speed with the picnic table saga, it became my turn to do something. I walked across the beach to the parking lot area, surveyed the half-dozen vehicles, and tried to guess which would be the most likely get-away car, and started writing down license plate numbers. The Taurus with the mega-boom box speakers in the rear windshield seemed almost too obvious so as I walked back I asked them which car was theirs. They refused to look at me, answer me, or react in any way whatsoever. I specifically asked if theirs was the Taurus, but was greeted (or "un"greeted) by the same non-response. Jamie, who never misses any drama watched the whole scene while pretending to fish off the docks. Almost immediately after I was off the beach and out of sight on "our side" Jamie called over to say they were running for their cars. Before I could get to a close enough vantage point, they were peeling out of the lot in two vehicles (btw - NOT the Taurus). Apparently, as soon as they decided I had the wrong plate number, they figured they better escape at first chance. I found it pretty humorous to think these three 20-something kids were brave enough to pick on a defenseless picnic table, but too scared to face the consequences of such a petty offense. Of course I now had to go get the picnic table out of the water, so I grabbed some rope and hopped back into the canoe and paddled over to were the picnic raft was floating. In case you ever have to perform an aquatic rescue of a table from a canoe, it doesn't go as smoothly as you may think. I did manage to tow it close enough to then wade in and pull it the rest of the way to land. Jamie helped me haul it back up onto the beach, then we all hoisted the canoe up onto the roof of the van (also, not as easy at it may sound - the van roof is about 7ft up) and headed for home to dry-dock the vessel for the winter.

Homecoming Queen Julie - 2008

2008-10-11T10:29:00.002-04:00

Slipping

2008-10-06T13:02:00.003-04:00

OK - I admit it - I'm slipping.

I no longer check Paula and Kate's blogs daily.

(Seriously, that's a good thing 'cause they NEVER BLOG anymore and haven't for some time now - and it's too OCD of me to keep looking)

(sorry ladies, it's just that we miss you and wish there was something new there to read!)

8 games in 18 hours

2008-09-29T11:30:00.002-04:00

... and still can feel my feet (no small feat - nor small feet).

Saturday night - Susie was gone overnight for the Fryeburg Fair so I took three evening games starting at 6:40pm (not leaving me alone with those kids! they may kill each other, but they're not taking me with them!). Being a Peewee and two Bantam games, they were fairly fast and as all "C" level checking games are, rather entertaining. I was really "on my game" for this set (sometimes you just see the game with more clarity and decisiveness) and I even got to toss a coach - which I haven't actually done for a few years - who was loudly irate over a "NON-Icing" call and wouldn't shut up or calm down. (Icing you say? Nobody gets irate over an icing call - or non-call. But you'd be wrong!) By the time I finished the necessary paperwork (all game misconducts require a report) and got home and to bed it was 11:30. Then up at 5:30am to be on the ice in Falmouth at 7:00am for five more games (1 squirt and 2 peewees, then 2 girls games). When the kids lined up for the first faceoff, I was impressed with how geared up they were - squirts seldom look this competent. They started out quite aggressively and I quickly called a penalty for checking. The confused coach asked what the penalty was for, and the game resumed. At the very next whistle, he politely repeated his request for an explanation, which I gave. He then said "but this is a peewee game. They are allowed to check!". "Really? Peewee's? Not Squirts?" said I? The timekeeper confirmed it. (wow - this set ALWAYS starts with Squirts, but that explained why they looked so strong) I offered my apologies to the coach and player and let him out of the penalty box and cancelled the penalty (thankfully, they were not scored on while he was incorrectly being punished). Needless to say I didn't feel "on my game" for the rest of this one, but things went better after that. The one coach's complaint of the day was from Falmouth in the 3rd game, who felt I was being too strict and calling too many penalties of his team. "Come on Ref - we're trying to teach them how to check!" he complained. "But coach, I called a trip - not an illegal check!". I refrained from saying what I wanted to say which would have been "I understand you are trying to teach them how to check, but you need to understand that I'm simply letting you know they haven't learned yet! Keep trying".

Beach weather

2008-09-27T16:20:00.003-04:00

stormy weather is a favorite time to go to the beach - to look for whatever the waves might wash ashore. Granted, tomorrow would be a better time to go explore but today is when I had some spare time with the kids.

Cheryl Wheeler at the Narrows

2008-09-21T16:41:00.011-04:00

As part of our long-on-going 25th anniversary, Sue arranged to get tickets to see my favorite folk singer - Cheryl Wheeler - at a place in Fall River called "The Narrows Center For Arts". It was a secret (and I'm so wonderful that I never attempted to guess - although when pressed to guess, I got it on my first attempt) that she had managed to keep since earlier in the summer - no small feat considering the amount of people who knew about it. Her primary co-conspirators were Auntie Maria and Maria's best friend Joanne Clemons, who's daughter (older daughter - I used to coach younger daughter Barbie in softball) Debbie's husband Steve is best friends with Kathleen who happens to be Cheryl's partner, whom they are building a house next door to, on the property they bought off of them (got all that?). Joanne (maybe with some help from Maria who is also claiming some credit!!!) got 5 tickets and reserved seating at a table 10 feet from the stage (thankfully NOT on the 200 year old wooden church pews that some people got to sit on) - so Maria, Joanne and Joanne's husband Allan joined us for the show.

The warmup act was respectably good, and Cheryl was in fine form with her unconventional wit, crystal clear voice and beautiful fingerpicking guitar playing. Julie has been babysitting a lot - including this night - and having recently discovered and become a fan of Cheryl's, she requested us to get her some "swag" (J & M didn't know what "swag" was until Sue explained - concert gear/CD's/T-shirts/etc.. - but Allan knew it as a pirate term, and coincidentally Friday was "talk like a pirate day"). We got a CD with JuBee's favorite song "When fall Comes To New England" on it, and after the show, Cheryl stopped by our table to say "Hi" and she signed the CD for Julie.
So all in all, a lovely evening with great company, music, and lots of humor - a bit of a microcosm of our past 25 years! That you, Aunt Maria & Joanne (and Allan too).

ABSOLUTELY check out Cheryl in concert if you get the chance. Her pre-song stories of how the song came to be will have you roaring in laughter, while the songs themselves might continue the laugh-fest or might bring a tear to your eyes with the eloquent beauty of the music and lyrics.

this was Sue's favorite number
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfni_ZMhx5o&feature=related

here is Cheryl's song about how she must have done something terrific in a prior life to deserve a partner like hers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6j5HOuIpeo&feature=related

here is the counter-song that her partner might have written
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6j5HOuIpeo&feature=related

Here is the link for "The Narrows" website
(easy to get to and free parking!)
http://www.ncfta.org/

Advanced Children

2008-09-11T21:14:00.002-04:00

People like to brag about how advanced their children are, and we are no different in that regard.

SO - tonight I am sitting at the middle school open house with my 6th grader Joe. The principle is explaining her description of middle-schoolers saying "and 6th grade boys are just silly. They are likely to sit at lunch mixing some concoction of ketchup and jello - and paying someone else to eat it!" As her audience is politely chuckling, Joe quietly says to me "I did that LAST year!"

Youth Hockey season 2008/9 starts early

2008-09-08T08:39:00.002-04:00

Every September there is a referee meeting local ref's who intend to officiate either Yankee and/or So.Shore Conference games. Although it is typically the "same old/ same old" information, It's good to attend in case there is that one bit of knowledge one might otherwise miss (like two years ago when I couldn't make it and didn't know that our state was doing an experiment with a new "icing" rule - I figured it out when in the middle of my first game I informed by the coaches and my ref partner that I was calling it wrong). This past tuesday I learned that the two year old experiment had ended and we are reverting back to the original ruling (thank goodness). I also discovered that assignments would be given out via phone on Wednesday night for games this weekend! (Normally first Yankee games would be 2/3 weeks away still). So I've already gotten my first 5 games under my belt - 3 Mite "C"s and 2 Squirt "C"s. The only complaints from anybody was from coaches who hadn't yet had a practice session and had not even met some of their players until 20 minutes before game time. Mite C players tend to have difficulty figuring out where to stand for a faceoff, but generally we can ask the coach what postion "Billy" is supposed to be playing and we can move him there - but these poor coaches didn't even know who "Billy" was! (at certain times, even "Billy" didn't seem to know who "Billy" was, or what town he played for, or which goalie he should be shooting at!)

Makes me look forward to the 1st year Peewee's and trying to teach them the right way to check (tweet "nope, that wasn't legal" - tweet "neither was that" - tweet "no , this isn't football" - tweet "no, this isn't wrestling")

for the sake of simplicity....

2008-09-05T10:07:00.006-04:00

lets just say...

I "get it" that it is an expected part of childhood to test boundries and see what you can get away with.

but they "don't get it" that it is an equally required part of parenthood to set boundries and ruin kids lives when they break the rules.

Being "sneaky" is bad enough, but being stupid about being sneaky just drives me nuts! I know it's a short drive, but Jamie & Nikki have the pedal to the metal lately.

Let's all go to Arizona to visit Jason Silverman

2008-09-03T09:37:00.005-04:00

Jason is one of my best friends.

(actually, he SUCKS because he never writes, calls, IM's or emails - I hope you "google" yourself and read this Jason! jk lol)

He is smart & zany & eccentric & a very good musician. (I assume he is a good architect although I have never personally seen his work, and he has now quit that occupation to do full-time music - I think just to make me jealous)

We played in a band together off and on for a few years. Then he moved to Worchester, then Arizona near his mother and sister (so I suppose I must forgive him).

FINALLY!!!!! He shows up on MySpace http://www.myspace.com/jasonsbass and facebook and writes a blog about the band "EastonAshe" he's in now. So - everybody - go visit Jason's myspace page, or go read his blog at http://jasonbass.blogspot.com/ even if you don't know him - just to bombard him with site hits. "Friend" him through FaceBook if you like (I know Scotty needs more friends to stay with or ahead of Jen!). Pour out the love!

A Whirl Wind Week

2008-08-29T12:50:00.002-04:00

As summer's ending the schedule heats up (including squeezing in the relaxation events). Saturday we visited friends for kayaking on Glen Charlie Pond, supper, and relaxed partying. Sunday Corey & I went and set up the final 4-H tent for the upcoming fair, then we all headed to Hanson for swimming and canoeing. Monday was final shopping for back-to-school, which was Tuesday - getting them out the door in the morning and filling out the emergency/permission forms in the evening. Wednesday was our adventure-filled Anniversary "off" day - kids on the bus, 5 mile bike ride, train to Boston, subway to the Library for research, lunch with Mary, more research, trains back home, kids to 4-H, out to dinner, pick up kids. Thursday more 4-H after work and grocery shopping and send Sue TO work. Friday - straight from work to bring Yon to work to 4-H (fair opens at 5:00pm) to catch up with everyone else. Although the fair runs late on friday, all day & night saturday, and sunday morning - that is actually a sort of relaxing time where other than keeping a loose eye out on the kids, I get to poke around all day and sit/watch and bid on a few pieces of junk/treasure at the auction on both nights, and eat fried dough. Sunday afternoon brings the Edwards Family cookout. With any luck, Monday will be a day without too much labor - as I sit around putting off for another day all of the obvious cleaning/fixing projects that I have been putting off for another day!

The Dividing Line

2008-08-26T15:08:00.004-04:00

25 years ago today was the last day we would be single people. I was 28-1/2 years old and Sue was 20-1/2. Needless to say, stepping from that lifestyle into the “Married” life is a big change at any age. I recall that leading up to the proposal was rather nerve-wracking, but the night before the wedding I was nonchalant. She was an amazing and intriguing, wonderful person, who I (along with everyone else in the world) loved. Of course I assumed we would have a long lifetime of grand adventures – that went without saying, so it probably did.

“well I know it’s kind’a strange but every time I’m near you I just run out of things to say. I hope you understand. Every time I tried to tell you, the words just came out wrong, so I’ll have to say I love you in a song” (Jim Croce)

Early on couples are still figuring each other out, learning all of the quirks and foibles – fatal flaws and quaint eccentricities – that the other had managed to successfully suppress during the courtship period. Some of us worry too much about things that aren’t that big an issue, while some of us don’t place enough concern over things we really should attend to more seriously. Are we always this way or is there a point in time where we say to ourselves “I need to fix this”? And which one of us gets to determine who is over-reacting and who is not responding enough?

I am still nonchalant about a lot of marriage stuff, but is it actually that the whole experience has left me peacefully content, or that I am still selfishly oblivious and taking things for granted? I am not yet at the dividing line where I have spent more of my life married than not – I won’t get there for another three years. Once my “married” longevity exceeds the length of my “bachelorhood” will I start to see the error of my ways, finally give in to reality and “get it right”? Does it take that long for the wife to finally break the hubby’s old "bachelor habits"? Does it take that long for me to finally firmly grip that it really IS all my fault? Unfortunately for her, she crossed the dividing line five years ago. Is she doomed to suffer another three years waiting for me to join her in the same stage of life? I just hope and pray that she will put up with me long enough for me to find out the answer. It goes without saying that it has been 25 amazing years of grand adventures and wedded bliss (maybe not so much so for her! – sorry, I’m stealing HER line here) but my biggest baddest fatal flaw is still allowing it to go unsaid.

“every time the time is right all the words just come out wrong, so I’ll have to say I love you in a song”

Happy 25th Anniversary Eve, baby – I Love You.

We've been together since way back when

Sometimes I never want to see you again

But I want you to know After all these years

You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear

You're still the one I want to talk to in bed

Still the one That turns my head

We're still having fun And you're still the one

Changing, our love is going gold

Even though we grow old, it grows new

You're still the one That I love to touch

Still the one And I can't get enough

We're still having fun And you're still the one

(Orleans)

Fruits of our labor - 2008

2008-08-23T11:34:00.003-04:00

Still trying - at least THIS time I passed

2008-08-20T12:38:00.004-04:00

So I answered the Craigslist ad - Classic Rock singer/guitarist needed for South Shore band. I went to jam/audition with three guys trying to put a band together. They were "guitar (lead/rhythm), bass and drums with strong backup vocals who just need to find someone who can sing & play lots of 60's-70's rock". I do get to say I passed their audition with flying colors. Sadly, they didn't pass my audition. Nice guys, for sure - with a nice well equiped practice set-up.
Strong backing vocals? Not even close.
Instrumentally polished? My kitchen floor is more polished than their musical presentation (and you've seen my kichen floor!).
The guitar player was the closest to competent, vocally and instrumentally - someone who under the right circumastances I could possibly work with.
The drummer was uninspired and not exactly a human metronome, and didn't sing at all (maybe he was simply the smartest of the three) - you could envision getting by with him with plenty of practice and a strong surrounding band.
The bass player was rough (to put it nicely) on his instrument, and although he was obliviously bad as a lead singer he was clueless at harmonies - he was an enthusiastic singer though.
They loved the songs that I played, while their proposed playlist was boring and lame - but certainly plenty of standards that everyone would recognize and would take me no time to learn. The final nail in the coffin was when they asked if I could sing "House of the rising sun" (but give me credit - I sang as much as I could remember). If I was going to find a group to be virtually my backup band, I would actually want them to be a bit better than me. I am not great by any measure, so if I were to be head-and-shoulders the best in the band, that band is doomed.

Did I mention they were real nice guys? If we randomly met at a house party and just decided to jam for the heck of it with no expectations, it would have been a lot of fun (and this post would sound much more positive and enthusiastic).

It is extremely difficult to put a band together (or fit into an existing one) at this age and time.
When we were teenagers we hung out with friends who together learned to play music. Because we were friends (a group) first (without music) with common backgrounds, tastes, experiences, we were eager to push each other to become better, because there was comraderie and mutual benefit to this joint effort. We had all the time in the world to hang out - playing together and letting things simply evolve (or not - if it didn't pan out, we were still going to be friends). Now as adults, there is no pre-established bond, there are tight time constrictions, and everybody assembled expects the others to be of comparable skill. We don't count on being close friends outside of the band, time is of the essence, and it's a business. It's got to happen fast and be good, and if not we cut our losses and move on. We are much more judgemental towards each other.

I think I still want to play in a band. Playing music with other musicians is still enticing. The logistics of putting a band together and getting it onto a stage in a paying gig are daunting. When I'm not pursuing it, I wish I was. When I am, I question my sanity (and I'm probably not the only one).

stinging criticism

2008-08-18T14:04:00.002-04:00

Apparently a hive of yellow jackets didn't like the way I was weeding and trimming around the apple trees. They let me know in no uncertain terms. The first one made his "point" loud and clear inside my right ear lobe. While I was trying to rebuke him, I realized that my arms, shoulder and neck were receiving the same message. I started to utter a few profanities as I swatted and backpeddled, and then decided opening my mouth might not be the best idea. Running and yanking off my shirt seemed like a smarter choice (as the dead bee inside my "Bee"tles t-shirt proved). Julie heard the commotion from inside the house and asked the obvious question -"Bee's?" So thinking of Jamies need for the epi-pen, I grabbed some Benadryl and water and waited to see if my breathing or swallowing was going to get difficult. I assumed I would be able to at least whisper to julie "911" if necessary - which it wasn't. About an hour later I decided it was safe to call Sue (at the Marshfield fair Rabbit Show") and let her know of my mis-adventure.

Uncle Corey says Happy Birthday to Mary

2008-08-12T11:09:00.002-04:00

me: my baby Mary turns 24 today

MEIGGSCRM: happy birthday to her....damn it wasn't that long ago i was holding her..when she was a baby..well that was my snap shot of her the last time i was up there

Mary's Anniversary Gift to us

2008-08-10T20:18:00.022-04:00

Mary planned and organized a days worth of activity in honor of Sue's and mine approaching 25th Anniversay. The kids all managed to keep the plan a secret. We only knew that there WAS a plan and that it started with us all leaving the house at 9:30am and we were to be dressed nicely and in shades of blue. Sue quickly concluded that this meant a professional family photo (she was right). We assumed that part of the plan would include a lunch somewhere. We were also instructed to bring play clothes to change into (assuming some sort of outdoor adventure). Mary is totally proving to be her mothers own child. So we left the house right on time - to arrive at (stop #1) C & J's photo studio about 10 minutes early. Sue is ALWAYS early - never "fashionably" late (or any other excuse for late). Carol at the studio (the same studio that my parents brought us to 50 years ago for our family photos) was very impressed - first at the size of the family, and then at the efficiency that everybody fell into line and positioned and repositioned to get the optimal shots. We finished so quickly that we had close to an hour before our (stop #2) 11:30 lunch reservation at The Hitching Post. So where do we go when we have time to kill??? Of course - a cemetary. Fern Hill is the final resting place of many McClellan, Annis, and Everson ancestors - and it was a beautiful morning for head(stone) hunting. After burying ourselves in this pursuit, we headed for lunch - except we discovered that the Hitching Post serves only breakfast until 1:30 on Sundays, so we ate a hearty late breakfast. Mary then presented everybody with team T-Shirts that said BLAUSS 25 on the back, and off we went to (stop #3) my old Softball Team stomping grounds for a game of whiffleball. We broke into two teams and played 4 inning. Naturally the Blauss Team won, so according to an old tradition we went to (stop #4) DQ for a victory ice cream.

Nicely done, Mary!

http://picasaweb.google.com/don.sueblauss/25th

(I think I can say "nicely done, Sue & Donnie!" Our kids made us proud today!)

((PS: technically, the "25th" is on the 27th))

Green Harbor scientific research

2008-08-09T19:02:00.001-04:00

Laurie is leading an effort to restore tidal flow into the Green Harbor River (site of our family island where we spend much of our childhoos summer vacations).
http://30phillipsst.blogspot.com/2007/02/island-games-by-eric-wes.html

http://web.whrsd.org/faculty/bianchi_laurie/River%20Project/ixRiver.htm

Much of the study has to do with catching fish on each side of the dyke and see how it changes when a limited amount of tide is allowed back into the river. Julie is using it as an opportunity to accumulate the required hours of community service she needs for school. Lots of other family members have also been pitching in. Today I got to help out for the first time.

Green Harbor Fish Pier

2008-08-08T19:15:00.003-04:00

After leaving the Beach we circled around by the pier at Green Harbor - a true working pier. Jamie and Joe explored up and down the docks and checked out the boats and then a fisherman mentioned a boat was coming in with an 800 pound tuna. Despite Tim's impatience, we decided to stick around to see how big an 800lb tuna
really was. As we waited, word must have been spreading because more and more people started arriving to see the fish that had not yet arrived. After 45 minutes the boat tied up to the dock, with one very large fish laying on it's deck. With about 50 spectators leaning over railing for a better look, the 5ft long fish was winched up (officially weighed in at only 650lb) and into the waiting refrigerated fish market truck.

Brant Rock at low tide

2008-08-03T22:02:00.002-04:00

For Corey Meiggs - if you can't get back to visit Brant Rock, I'll just have to send Brant Rock to you!

PS: Suzie says "Hi".

Julie's back from her big adventure

2008-08-01T19:54:00.003-04:00

Julie spent the week with her favorite ex-teacher at Martha's Vineyard teaching art to 4-9 year olds. The perfect dream job (except for the no pay part) for her.

Manny being Manny (as of 7/31/08 4:00pm many miles from Boston)

2008-07-31T18:38:00.004-04:00

(sung to the tune of Dock Of The Bay)

Hittin’ is what Manny’s done
He’ll be hittin’ though he won't even run
the rest of his stunts I won’t miss
In the Dodgers wall there’s no place to piss, yeah yeah
I'm waiting now to see Jason Bay
Hoping the tide will turn our way
Ooo, I just hope that gettin’ Jason Bay
is not Wastin' time
I lost my love of Manny
Let him and go and play in LA
'Cause I've a new guy to root for
look like Jason's gonna come save the day
So I'm just gonna root for my team at Fenway
a bit sad that Brandon and Craig went away
Ooo, I just hope that gettin’ Jason Bay
will ease all our minds

nothing was ever gonna change
Manny would still be sitting out games
He wouldn't do what $20 million tells him to do
So I guess he'll remain the same, yes

Jason’s here to hit our guys home
And I bet he’ll leave McCormack alone
From Pittsburgh and last place he’s roamed
Just to make the Green Monster his own
Now, I'm gonna sit and root for Jason Bay
Watching for homers flying away
Oooo-wee, thankful we got Jason Bay
just in time, yeah yeah

I'm Proud of my wife!

2008-07-27T19:39:00.001-04:00

Following in my daughters footsteps – or – Why Erastus?

2008-07-26T23:34:00.004-04:00

Why Erastus indeed. The simple answer is “I’m not exactly sure why he intrigues me – he just does”.

“Uncle Erastus” lived from 1837 to 1897 and once owned a piece of property that my family now owns. Our only direct knowledge of this long forgotten person was a reproduction of an old blue plate photo of him in front of a hunting shack with two dogs – allegedly on our mutually owned island in Green Harbor - and that he had served in the Civil War. Mary had done some research on Uncle Erastus and discovered some of his war history and that he served with the Freedman’s Bureau in South Carolina during the Reconstruction period following the war. Mary “chases dead people” – first as a hobby for her pure love of genealogy and old graveyards, now as a full-time job with her Masters degree. With the NEGHS she has access to all sorts of resources that the average hobby genealogist can’t get at. But I’ve been amazed at what I have been able to stumble across through google searches and such. Aside from the differences in returns based on if you search through Google or Yahoo or MSN, you get different results by using quotations and by putting his last name first or adding his middle initial. So discovering the mechanics of researching somebody has it’s own level of mystery and challenge and satisfaction. But back to the initial question – why Erastus? My ancestor was Barnabus (or Barnabas – depending on who wrote the record in question). Barnabus’ father and Erastus’ grandfather were brothers. Erastus married after the war but had no children to one day research his legacy. What Mary and I have stumbled across so far leads me to believe he was a very interesting person and deserves to be known. Now I suppose that any ancestor I picked would have been likewise a fascinating project, but since childhood there existed an interest in the original owner of our island. After Mary shared the info she had uncovered, my interest was elevated and I discovered the excitement of not only finding more info but also trying to decipher what it means. It’s as if I am writing a mystery book and attempting to figure out how the story goes, assuring that the facts make sense and fit correctly. Maybe more accurately, it’s like somebody already wrote the book but hid each chapter in different places – leaving clues as to where you can find them. No wonder Mary loves her job – she gets paid to solve the mysteries of people’s ancestors. So in a way, I am following in my daughter’s footsteps – chasing dead people. In my case though, I imagine it is only one dead person (although of course many other peoples lives play into his and must be known to some degree if I am to reconstruct Erastus properly. They hold many of the clues.). Other direct ancestors have been somewhat reconstructed already by others, and Erastus is the only one who has caught my interest enough to chase him. Besides, he apparently left behind a rather extensive paper trail – unlike most of our predecessors so my chances of success are greatly increased. I already acquired a letter he sent to an undetermined female cousin “Joe”. Mary got one from a library in California. The Boston Public Library has a collection with 188 items of his. The South Carolina Historical Society has an apparently large collection of his letters, military records, and even some family photographs. I am captivated by the concept of reconstructing this Reconstructionist. How much effort should I exert, at what cost (for considerable money I could acquire copies of almost everything), and for what ultimate purpose? What will happen if am able to reconstruct him - if I can “catch” him? Maybe I’ll have to ask Wiley Coyote for some advice.

Don't Even Ask

2008-07-22T07:08:00.003-04:00

suffice to say it was one of those things. You try to teach your kids that you're supposed to think things through before you do it, but I didn't heed my own advice.

MAN it hurts!

It's Bearly Pawsible

2008-07-15T08:57:00.002-04:00

The bear problem in New Hampshire is getting worse. Not only are they raiding dumpsters at restaurants and wandering through peoples backyards, they are loitering outside of Zeb's - hitting people up for money, bullying young boys, and getting frisky with the ladies.

Why does Joe look so sad?

2008-07-11T10:22:00.002-04:00

Because Joe forgot to bring "essential item #9" camping with him. It is what he always wanted, and he got one for his birthday in May - but when it came time to go camping (the ideal place and the exact reason you want to own one) he could not find it. Let me tell you how many times in 5 days he wished he had it with him!

Saco River Rope Swing

2008-07-08T09:24:00.009-04:00

One of the favorite activities when we camp in NH is the rope swing across from the campground beach on the Saco. At about 100 feet wide, the river is knee-to-waist deep for about 80 feet and then drops off to over my head right up to the far shore. Note that Jamie (in the water) is clinging to the river bank roots but not actually touching bottom. Corey (superwhite - if he was friendlier we could call him Casper!) swings out a good distance, but....

at one point I was out there helping Nikki as a group of 20-something kayakers were also giving it a go.
After all the boyfriends had finished showing off to their girlfriends I heard one of the young ladies say "but the old guy was the best at it". I will gladly dismiss the "old guy" crack because I get to say "I've STILL GOT IT! Take THAT you young hotshots!"

and just for the record - Sue also took a swing off of it and did so much more gracefully than the 20ish girl who went ahead of her.

As Paul Simon sang "Still crazy after all these years"

((more pictures at http://picasaweb.google.com/don.sueblauss/Camping08 )

come camping with us in New Hampshire

2008-07-02T12:19:00.000-04:00

Camping

2008-07-01T22:09:00.003-04:00

North Conway here we come.
(funny - the camp ground is in Conway, not North Conway, but we always refer to it that way because that's where we go to shop at Zeb's and the 5 & dime and expolore town)
So Eastern Slope Camping Area on the Saco River near Dianna's Bath and Swift River Lower Basin and swimming, rafting/kayaking, shopping, eating, playing softball & whiffleball at the camp field - same old routine that we love so well year after year and the kids can't wait to go!

http://www.easternslopecamping.com/index.html

Unexpected scavenger hunt

2008-06-27T23:39:00.005-04:00

We got an invitation to attend "Lizard Bowling" at 6:45 in Hanson - so off I went with Jamie and Joe, having no idea what "lizard" bowling actually is. When we got to the bowladrome at 6:30 the only person there was the attendant at the desk. The old man assured I he also had no idea what Lizard Bowling was but because they never do that sort of stuff here, we must be mistaken and we want to try the Hanover Alley's. 15 minutes drive later, we still did not find what we were looking for - only another virtually deserted facility. Dissapointed, yes - but determined to salvage something positive I decided we are close to Building 19-1/3 and I need new sandals. I found my new footwear, and a couple of those collapsable camping chairs (although we call them "bunny show chairs") - one a rocker and one a recliner! Joe and Jamie also found a couple of cheap prizes, and away we went. While cutting through Bryantville on our way back, I recalled that we would be going by the Mt Pleasant Cemetary where many Everson ancestors are buried - including the elusive Erastus Everson. Having never been there before we decided to try to find some ancestoral gravestones so we could let Mary know. I promised a dollar to whoever found my ancient uncle. After finding everybody BUT Erastus (and I knew he was there because brother-in-law Scott told me he's seen the stone there) it occurred to me that we should be looking for American Flags because of course Major Erastus W. Everson was a Civil War veteran and would be marked with a flag. Now the boys could run from flag to flag until Jamie yelled "FOUND HIM!".

The Garden - 2008

2008-06-26T18:39:00.008-04:00

Our garden is of course a living growing entity, but it seems that our patio is also growing. Scott noticed it right away when he arrived for our annual "Friends of Youth Ministry" cookout, but in case you are not in a position to view it up close and personal I'll gladly show you.

This is circa 2005

this is circa 2007

this is 2008

Just in case you want to get jealous

2008-06-23T20:46:00.002-04:00

usually we want summer to stay as long as possible, but this year I (we) can't wait for November! Eat your heart out!

http://www.sandals.com/main/lucia/lu-home.cfm

But I found out today that the resort is about 60% full as of now, which means there are openings if anyone wants to meet us there.

Ya.

You will be getting the ol' "My friends went to St Lucia and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" tee shirt.

CELTIC'S PRIDE - My Kind'a Team

2008-06-18T08:27:00.006-04:00

Most kids develop a love of sports early and forever bond to their favorite teams from their childhood. I was born in the perfect time and place. The Patriots came into existence when I was 5. They were never the favorites, always the underdogs, but had colorful personnel (offensive lineman Lenny St. Jean owned a seedy bar in Hanson back in the day). The Sox had the Impossible Dream team when I was 12 and went from lovable losers to colorful lovable underdog World Series losers. The Big Bad Bruins - always underdogs to les Canadiens - had Orr and Espo and a working-class team of lesser known under-rated players in my prime teen years. But it was the Celtic's who taught Boston how to be winners. They were built to win, expected to win, and they did - in historic fashion. Red Auerbach mastered the concept of "role players" blending with stars who didn't act or think like stars. Everyone knew their role and knew that success depended on them accepting and fulfilling their roles. And succeed they did - when I was 2,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11, 13 & 14 (and more again later). "THEY" (the opponents) always had the nationally recognized prima dona superstar. They liked Wilt better than Russell, Magic better than Bird, Anyone better than Havlicek (heck - he wasn't even a starter half the time but invented the "6th Player" concept and turned it into an annual award) We always had the "defense first, just doin' my part" stars who understood that the guy coming off the bench and doing his job was equally important as the starter doing his job. The 2007-2008 Celtics "got it". They had the stars who didn't care about being "stars" and they had the role players who played their roles with pride and tenacity. Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen and House and Posey et al became champions last night. Paul Pierce became a series MVP and a "Celtic Legend" last night while being his teams 4th highest scorer of the game. He was happy with the points he scored but was proud of how he minimized Kobe's impact -totally not the thoughts of a typical superstar, but totally the thoughts of a "Celtic Champion". Garnett and Allen will someday be "Hall-of-Famers" and be forever associated with a great Celtic's championship. Pierce became "rafter-worthy", earning an undeniable place alongside Russell & Cousey & Havlicek & Bird & all the others.

Congratulations to the Celtic's on becoming Champ's (again).

Congratulations to Paul Pierce on becoming one of the "All Time Celtic Greats".

Thank You Mr Bush

2008-06-12T13:43:00.003-04:00

Don't get me wrong. I'm very glad that Mr Bush is giving us some extra money back - but if he thinks that the average American is going to splurge on frivolous toys instead of paying bills or filling their gas tank, he's stupider than we think (and, as if every taxpayer buying $300 worth of stuff is going to fix everything - he's a total Dupe who thinks WE are total Dupes).

Sue & I are actually lucky in that we are getting about as much as anyone possibly can. I could wipe out most (but not all) of our overdue bills with it - or I could get some car work done and pay for Julies driver Ed - or I could partially pay for any one of a number of house maintenance projects long overdue. In the end, lots of these items will be left as they have been for years - still pending. We will pay off some debt, we will pump the septic tank, we will help Julie, we will fill three vehicles gas tanks, and I hope stop the leaky bathtub. We will still need a new roof, windows, doors, tires, and ball joints. Honestly, some of it will pay for our campsite and gas to get to North Conway for the 4th of July, and some of it has been put towards our fall St Lucia trip - but honestly, we were going struggle but still do those even without the "Stimulus Refund" so you can't actually say that it helped the economy. It will help us accomplish these things a bit easier though. My to-do list will be slightly shorter for a month or two (maybe). The economy won't be the least bit better, gas prices (all prices) will still be climbing much faster than my paycheck, but I will still say "Thank you Mr. President for your misguided, misinformed and foolishly optimistic game-plan. I really wish I could buy a new guitar or laptop or big-screen TV - but I'm grateful for the help in avoiding bankruptcy or forecloser or credit card debt or repossession or any of the many financial disasters that so many Americans are facing". Now if only somebody could think of a plan to fix the economy so we can get a raise so we can buy cool stuff.

A feeling of entitlement

2008-06-10T15:06:00.006-04:00

As kids growing up we simply felt that the world around us was ours to use as we saw fit. The fields in Hall’s Farm, the woods behind Casoli’s, the river behind the Colley’s & Hannigans, Urrans Pond, Grampa Mac’s Pond (actually his land on Maquan Pond), and all points in between – we understood that other people technically owned this land but “why shouldn’t we be allowed to play there unconditionally?”

Now as a grown-up parent, I try to teach my own kids respect for other peoples property and privacy, and I hate it when they act as if they are entitled to anything. I then of course feel guilty (I can’t believe we were so self-centered as kids) and hypocritical (why should I deny them the same sense of freedom that we enjoyed?).

Part of my dilemma has been somewhat resolved (or at least rationalized for me) recently. Mary’s love of – and now career in – genealogy has prompted me to research my own family’s local history. Combined with brother Wes’ collection of old family anecdotes and history, it has led me to know why we as kids felt entitled to free reign of our environs. It’s because of the Everson’s! Back in the 1800’s around the time that Pembroke’s West parish became the separate town of Hanson, the Everson clan was apparently omni-present – there were tons of them and they multiplied with great success. They apparently lived all around the east and south sides of Hanson. My great-great-great grandfather Barnabas Everson owned a large parcel between what is now Indian Head Street and Wamputuck Pond. It included all of what is now, the Little League Field complex, the Hanson Town Forest and further south along the road as well. He married into the Howland/Bates family who owned land across the street and extending back to Maquan Pond (ring a bell?). At some later point in time he purchased and moved to a large tract of farmland along side of the railroad tracks by the South Hanson Station. This would be the farm we as kids knew as “Hall’s Farm”. The house I grew up in at 30 Phillips St was built for my great-great-grandmother Imogene McClellan (Barnabas’ daughter. It stands to reason that all of Phillips St was once part of the larger Everson Farm parcel. I never knew until very recently that our neighbor (3 houses up the street) Mr. Ford was actually Grampa Mac’s cousin. Our neighbors 2 houses up were Howlands, and the house next door was my great-grandfather Roddy McClellan. I never realized it before but it’s all starting to make sense now – it was all a “family compound”! And we don’t have to travel far to see the reach that the clan had. 300 yards east on Main street is where Barnabas owned a saw mill and hired George McClellan (who married his daughter Imogene) to build the huge chimney which still stands prominently today. George and Imogene’s grandson Edgar (Grampa Mac) married Sally Annis who eventually lived at 30 Phillips St. Her parents lived for awhile in a house tucked away behind Urran’s Pond. Great-grandfather Billy Annis was found dead in the woods behind the Plymouth County Hospital (where now is housed the local 4-H extension office) on High St – geographically about halfway between Phillips St and Maquan Pond. So you see, without knowing it, we WERE entitled to having all of South Hanson as our playground. It was genetically and historically pre-destined and all of our neighbors were aware of our connection to this corner of the world even if we kids weren’t. That must be why they never complained (not out loud anyway) much if we short-cutted through their yards and built forts in their woods.

Now none of the Phillips St. neighbors are relatives, homes long since sold and resold. Only Nenna (Mom) and my sister Heather (the product of a Howland/McClellan Phillips St marriage) and baby Jessica remain as direct descendants on the Phillips St “ancestral homestead”. Aunt Maria, cousin Mo, and her children remain on the Maquan Pond “ancestral homesite”. The rest of us have relocated to places where it will be impossible for our children’s children to feel an entitlement to. Our half-acre in Carver will never be sub-divided into a family compound (unless Joe moves into the chicken coop and Jamie lives in the tree fort – don’t laugh, it’s not much different than the set-up that Aunt Sally and the Doyle cousins are living in right now - and on less land!).

I want my kids to understand why “The Pond” is important, so that they will respect it and revere it accordingly. Maybe this is why I maintain an unrealistic dream to someday acquire the “Pond” land (I’d obviously have to win big on the MegaMillions, offer Maria a really sweet deal, and count on the fact that she loves Sue & Mary so much!! She’s only seven years older than me, so based on MY genetics she will most likely outlive me – not that I hold any preferential standing in her list of potential heirs anyway!)

I suppose that at some point in time - hopefully not in MY lifetime - the Pond land with get sub-divided and built on, restricting access and eventually getting lost and absorbed into the rest of the bigger outside world.

So maybe I’ll start anew and spend my "bound-to-happen-any-day-now" lottery ticket windfall buying a 200 acre farm/mountain in New Hampshire where my kids can continue on after I am gone – generations of my own offspring having unexplained feelings of entitlement to the land of their fore-fathers. Maybe 150 years from now some young descendant will try to figure out who I was and what I did and why I mattered.

(if he figures it out, I hope he holds a séance and explains it to me!)

If you go to San Francisco be sure to wear some flowers in your hair

2008-06-06T09:05:00.005-04:00

I've been singing this song in my head all day today. It was sung by "The Mama's and the Papa's" in 1967.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Francisco_%28Be_Sure_to_Wear_Flowers_in_Your_Hair%29
At the high school it's "Decade Day" and the decade is 1960's. The kids are encouraged to research the assigned decade and dress accordingly for the day.

In 1967 I was 12 years old so although I didn't drop acid and attend sit-ins or Grateful Dead concerts, I have indelible images of the times. So as I drove to the school this morning to drop off scrambled eggs (3 dozen from our own hens) for the teacher appreciation brunch, there was my beautiful Julie all decked out in sandals, ankle length earth-tones skirt, peace sign necklaces, and a hand-made daisy wreath in her long flowing slightly unkempt blonde hair. She was 100% authentic - absolutely the perfect image of the stereotypical San Francisco hippy girl with a bouquet of flowers to put in the National Guardsmens gun barrels (thankfully there were none of them there). Talk about sensory stimuli triggering flashbacks. If she doesn't win the prize for "Best Outfit", the judges obviously didn't live during those times and therefore don't recognize the authenticity of her "look".

As she climbed out of the van (shame it wasn't decked out like the Scooby-Doo van) she innocently wondered aloud if she might be able to organize a sit-in just to try to be more authentic. She is such a living anachronism! She wasn't simply imitating a hippy - she actually is one, just born 40 years too late.

what a difference a year makes

2008-05-22T08:17:00.006-04:00

Last year about this time Julie was so surprised and excited because she threw the discus almost 90 feet (about 30 feet better than she started the year at) and qualified for State competition (a feat she hadn't particularly considered). Although she never viewed herself as an "athlete", her coaches did.

This year she is disappointed and "had a bad day" if she throws it less than 90.
(ps: that still places her 2nd in most meets, behind her own teammate Kayla who typically throws 110-120)
Julie has gotten accustomed to throwing 95-100 feet, but now she has another teammate Mari who is challenging her. Once this year Mari had her best throw while Julie had an off day, slipping Julie into 3rd place - and Julie didn't like it! (who knew she IS competitive after all?)

Still, League competition has proven to be little competition with Carver generally sweeping the discus event - Kayla, Julie, Mari. Now on to Districts and States where the real challenges will be found (against kids from the BIG schools like Brockton and Fall River and Springfield, where there are dozens of girls statewide who throw over 100 ft).

GOOOOOOOO JULIE!!!!!!!!

================================

PS: Julie called to let us know she threw a personal best 103' 6" today for second place. Way to go Julie!!!

Why can't anything be easy?

2008-05-18T19:45:00.002-04:00

The plan for the day was skip church (I went yesterday, played for Confirmation Mass) re-install the garden pond, set some patio blocks that are going where the pond used to be, and try to fix Sue's bikes brakes.

9:00am - Skip church - done (funny side note: I know a referee who's name is Skip Church. I wonder how many Sunday morning games he does?)
9:30 am - Fix Sue's bike - the rear brake cable is rusted solid so I have to buy a new one and I didn't get as far as testing out the gear shifter which also isn't working, so - NOT done.
10:00am - there is a big root smack dab in the middle of where the pond is being located. The bow saw is too flimsy, the reciprocal saw blade isn't big enough, but the chain saw surprisingly started up easy and did the job so the hole is dug. Unfortunately, there is a crack in the plastic pond so I have to get some sealant at the hardware store.
11:00am - at the hardware store and Sue calls. She is at the high school and the truck won't start.
11:30am - can't get the truck restarted. Mr Rezendez the school janitor give a jump start. I need to go get a new battery. I leave Sue the van and take the truck home. The stupid clamp that holds the battery in place won't let go, so I fix the leak in the pond and set it in place and back-filling it. - Pond done (well, not filled, but it's in place).
1:30PM - BOY do I wish I had told Joe "no" to the friends birthday party (30 minutes away) but I drive Corey to work, pick up a card for the birthday boy, and drive Joe to The Charlie Horse restaurant and arcade in West Bridgewater. After meeting the mother (new people we don't know) and seeing which of Joes rowdy friends are there, I figure I can run over to K-Mart in Brockton and get a new battery. The handy vehicle year/model chart tells me which battery I need - of course the one they are out of. I do manage to get a package of new bike cables.
4:30pm - pick up Joe, manage to get him out of the arcade by 5:00 and home at 5:30pm to cook supper.
6:00pm - finally find the the ratchett wrench I needed to un-screww the battery clamp
6:15pm - discover that Sears is open until 7:00pm
6:30pm - arrive at Sears, but the Auto Department guy says he's closed. But when he discovers I only need a battery, he determines it can be rung in at a different register. He looks up the battery I need, but it doesn't match the size that K-Mart determined. The one Sears says looks too small and doesn't have the same "650 cold cranking amperage" as the one currently in the truck. The clerk snootily offers to show me what his computer says, so because the "bring your final selections to the register" announcement is being made - I go for it.
7:15pm - battery installed and the truck starts, the pond is in but not filled, the patio bricks that Joe put down for me will need to be re-done, Sue's bike seat is raised and I have new cables but when I get back to it is anybodies guess.