She's leaving home, bye bye

When Mary left for college it felt strange, as she was the first child to be “not home”. But honestly, she had been so busy and self-contained during her high school senior year I saw precious little of her so I barely noticed that she wasn’t around once she wasn’t. Although I loved her dearly, her leaving didn’t cause a big change in my daily life. Because Yon moved in with us almost immediately after she left, we didn’t even get the benefit of having a bit more room in her absence.

When Tim left for college, well, he didn’t actually leave as he commuted to BSC. During his high school senior year we actively tried to prepare him for the options that layed ahead. We had really hoped he would go and experience that level of independence and quasi-real-world exposure that campus living gives a young adult, but he simply wasn’t up to that challenge. I loved him dearly, but his college experience didn’t cause a big change in my daily life. He remains at home still holed up in his little re-habbed corner of the cellar , probably for as long as he can get away with it.

When Corey left for college it was a cause for great relief (sorry Corkman!), as we had worried about his financial aid, if somehow going to college would fall through, his girlfriend situation, etc… During his high school senior year we had endured many heated arguments and power struggles and sibling rivalries, and although I loved him dearly, his leaving for college actually made life a little easier for everybody. Thankfully we seem to have come along quite nicely and everybody’s relationships with him have improved dramatically. One side benefit was that we actually seemed to have a bit more room while he’s off at school.

Now Julie is getting ready to leave for college, and I am going to out-and-out miss her. During her senior year, we became closer. She would seek me out – to sing Beatles or CSN songs, to do something-anything, or just to get a kiss goodnight or a hug for no particular reason. I love her dearly and I expect to discover a noticeable void in my daily life while she’s away. The remaining kids are eager to swap and rearrange room assignments, where each of them will have separate rooms that they only have to share during semester breaks and long holidays.

Mary always had her mothers brains, drive, and self-assuredness, while inheriting my reserved nature, musical talents, athletic ability, and love of outdoors. Despite her obvious musical ability, she often seemed intimidated to sing & play with me, and much like me and my tendency to hope and wait for people to seek me out, we probably each spent too much time hoping the other one would step forward and initiate time together.

Tim always had his mothers impeccable memory and my obsessive love of statistics and obscure facts, and my deep & awkward shyness. His brain is otherworldly, although music never drew him in (aside from loving “The 12 Days Of Christmas” and all Christmas music in general). He would tag along with me to the various rinks where I refereed, and could tell me how long it had been since I had been there – what the scores were – and if the home teams really had an advantage. We could play game like – you say a year (from 1968 forward) and he would tell you the Superbowl score and who the MVP was. Insightful or philosophical conversation was a struggle for him, and much like me, small talk was a mystery – so talking sports or weather were the predominant interactions.

Corey always had his mothers unwavering confidence in being right (along with a teenagers natural belief in knowing everything), which coupled with my love of being actively involved in sports, made him an ideal umpire. He inherited Sue’s generous outgoing nature and my stubborn brain (sorry Corkman!) and willingness to debate a meaningless point or a meaningful one. Although not "naturally gifted" musically, he worked hard at being a musician and unashamedly would join in any sing-along/strum-along and has now done very well with numerous instruments. He frequently tries to draw me into playing street hockey, football or basketball or whatever he & his pals are up to, or simply discussing music, sports, religion, politics.

Julie is possibly the least like me. She is free spirited and unreserved, outgoing and self-confident. She purposely takes time every day to work on daydreaming. Her musical talent although good, isn’t as natural as Mary’s & mine, but she unabashedly loves to sing and has adopted my love of 60’s/Beatles/CSN era music. Her artistic ability is more natural and advanced than my own, but she loves to express it in 60’s/FlowerPower images. She is clearly an anachronism from the 1960's, which I can fully appreciate even though I was a few years too young to have been totally immersed in it when it originally was happening. Although she is not a “natural athlete”, she certainly found a niche that she could perform very well in and has complete pride in her accomplishments while understanding that it is a fun outlet, not a life-altering pursuit. She freely expresses love for me, brags openly about me, enthusiastically embraces my hobbies and interests and happily participates in them, willingly excuses my flaws and failings, and greets every new day with joy and hope. If anyone wished they could know what Sue was like at 18 years old, simply spend a day with Julie and you will get a very authentic re-enactment (minus the older boyfriend, but nobody could figure that out anyway!). I lucked out in 1980 when Sue didn’t “go away” to college, so I didn’t have to suffer though this experience before. I think I'm about to get a glimpse of how I would have felt back then. You bet I am going to miss Julie while she’s away.

“I think I’m going to be sad, I think it’s today, yeah”