disjointed and unconnected - maybe?

As I cleaned out the Taurus so Sue could drive to Worchester on Sunday, I noticed the inspections sticker was two months overdue - so Monday I brought it in to be taken care of. Then we spent time out to lunch reminiscing about past grand adventures and plotting & planning when we might be able to repeat. Then I went to Camp Bournedale for the 7th grade special overnight program, where I reminisced about YOW retreats and fun - while trying to keep eight 12 year olds under some semblance of control. Boy the school and the church have different approaches and protocols to supervision and security issues. I got to chat with numerous teachers about past and present students, and about how everybody loved them all and had a story to tell, and ditto regarding their favorite Sub-Teacher Susan. Now I'm back home on Tuesday submitting resumes and blogging for the first time since I was layed off. Funny how I had time for this while I was working, but now that I'm not, I can't seem to fit it in!

Great bargains and expensive fried dough

Event: East Middleboro annual 4-H Fair.
Here, every year for the past 60 years, you can come and see/touch the 4-H animals, admire the kids arts & crafts, and find amazing bargains in the used book tent, the “Country Store” (used junk) tent, and the Friday & Saturday Night Auction (more & bigger used junk). All year long, local folks donate/drop off unsold yard sale items, or relics found while cleaning Nana’s attic or stuff from Uncle Mel’s shed that he hasn’t used in many years, etc…. You can browse through all of this potential treasure while munching on freshly cooked food from the fry stand or the grill stand or the country kitchen – also all at below typical market prices.

The book tent is full of used romance novels, and history books and biographies, out-dated atlases and travel guides, old vinyl records (33’s, 45’s ) by Jim Nabors or Ed Ames and lots of Christmas Albums - all very dusty and occasionally moldy. Last year I found three Civil War topic books, but nothing this year.

The Country Store tent is full of roller blades, coffee mugs, obsolete electronics, bags of all sorts (hand, duffle, back, tote..), Christmas decorations, and every item from that junk drawer we all have in the kitchen or tool-shed. There is so much of this hodge-podge that it actually encompasses TWO tents. On Friday & Saturday, most everything goes for a buck apiece. On Sunday, you can fill a shopping bag for a dollar. This year, for one dollar, I got Joe ice hockey skates, a 20ft rope-light, 2 spring-loaded door stoppers, a rabbit cage water dish, a set of steak knives, a sharpening rod, teaspoons, and a can of Bondo.

My favorite part of the whole proceedings is the Auction – from scouring the auction tent to find potential treasures to bid on, getting my “number card” from Stacy The Assistant Auctioneer, to watching the Mazzilli brothers bid against each other to buy the couch they will both sit on for the night (and then re-buy it again the next night – they have never taken “the couch” home in the end) or spend $300 on a stuffed animal that they will then give away to some small child sitting nearby. If one of my kids identify a “MUST-HAVE-IT” item to attempt to win, I will tell them a maximum price, give them the magic “Number Card”, and let them wave it at the auctioneer in hopes that some grownup will notice who they are bidding against and have the decency to not out-bid this poor little desperate kid. When it’s time to get up and get my fried dough, I trustingly leave “the number card” with Sue with specific instructions “if XYZ comes up while I’m gone, bid up to $$ for it”. We have acquired desks, bureaus, lamps, chairs, a swing-set, a 14ft balance beam, a fiberglass rowboat, and other spectacular bargains too numerous to recall using my well-honed methods. Of course, while I will buy most anything I don’t need for a dollar or two, I have missed out on some good and useful items due to my skinflint reluctance to pay fair value. So this year, with Nikki following closely by my side (she was avoiding getting roped into waitressing under the kitchen tent), I searched for worthy items to bid on – but found slim pickings and nothing that excited me (no gymnastics equipment this year, and I didn't actually need the snowblower). Nikki pointed out two stools and a 5ft mirror that she just HAD to have. We took our seats and the auction began, rather uneventfully aside from the 2-sided bookcase for Sue and the pony (stuffed) I won for Julie because she ALWAYS asks me to buy her a pony when I go shopping, and I never had - until now. After an hour or so, I wandered off to get my fried dough – telling Nikki & Sue that if her mirror came up, she could bid up to $10 for it (I was in a generous mood and was confident that a. it wouldn’t come up, and b. that nobody else would want it very badly). As I stood 100 yards away at the fry stand waiting for my snack, I noticed that an enthusiastic bidding war was going on for two old rusty wood-handled bow saws. As I looked closer, I noticed that Nikki was frantically waving my card as the price climbed higher and higher, until her competition dropped out at $20 – leaving her (me) with the winning bid and the useless saws. With my $3 Fried Dough in hand (which is typically the most money I will spend on any single item all weekend), I returned to my seat – annoyed and confused - and asked why we had just spent so much money so foolishly. While Sue looked innocently confused at my indignation, Nikki boldly stated “You said you wanted saws”. I admit – I lost it! “WHAT? I NEVER SAID I WANTED SAWS!”. Sue noticing my turn to anger and the attention my outburst had drawn, adeptly threw Nikki under the bus, saying “but she told me so convincingly that you really wanted them that I believed her and figured that we should make sure we got them for you ‘cause you deserve it”. Realizing in disbelief that I now owned these saws for what I could have purchased a whole off-campus-apartment-full of fine furniture for, I sat down in my chair and concluded that “this is the most expensive piece of Fried Dough I’ve ever bought”.

Nikki still hasn’t fully accepted my apology for my outburst at her. It really was nice of her to try so excitedly to get something that she sincerely thought I really wanted. I did get her the mirror - for $1.

She's leaving home, bye bye

When Mary left for college it felt strange, as she was the first child to be “not home”. But honestly, she had been so busy and self-contained during her high school senior year I saw precious little of her so I barely noticed that she wasn’t around once she wasn’t. Although I loved her dearly, her leaving didn’t cause a big change in my daily life. Because Yon moved in with us almost immediately after she left, we didn’t even get the benefit of having a bit more room in her absence.

When Tim left for college, well, he didn’t actually leave as he commuted to BSC. During his high school senior year we actively tried to prepare him for the options that layed ahead. We had really hoped he would go and experience that level of independence and quasi-real-world exposure that campus living gives a young adult, but he simply wasn’t up to that challenge. I loved him dearly, but his college experience didn’t cause a big change in my daily life. He remains at home still holed up in his little re-habbed corner of the cellar , probably for as long as he can get away with it.

When Corey left for college it was a cause for great relief (sorry Corkman!), as we had worried about his financial aid, if somehow going to college would fall through, his girlfriend situation, etc… During his high school senior year we had endured many heated arguments and power struggles and sibling rivalries, and although I loved him dearly, his leaving for college actually made life a little easier for everybody. Thankfully we seem to have come along quite nicely and everybody’s relationships with him have improved dramatically. One side benefit was that we actually seemed to have a bit more room while he’s off at school.

Now Julie is getting ready to leave for college, and I am going to out-and-out miss her. During her senior year, we became closer. She would seek me out – to sing Beatles or CSN songs, to do something-anything, or just to get a kiss goodnight or a hug for no particular reason. I love her dearly and I expect to discover a noticeable void in my daily life while she’s away. The remaining kids are eager to swap and rearrange room assignments, where each of them will have separate rooms that they only have to share during semester breaks and long holidays.

Mary always had her mothers brains, drive, and self-assuredness, while inheriting my reserved nature, musical talents, athletic ability, and love of outdoors. Despite her obvious musical ability, she often seemed intimidated to sing & play with me, and much like me and my tendency to hope and wait for people to seek me out, we probably each spent too much time hoping the other one would step forward and initiate time together.

Tim always had his mothers impeccable memory and my obsessive love of statistics and obscure facts, and my deep & awkward shyness. His brain is otherworldly, although music never drew him in (aside from loving “The 12 Days Of Christmas” and all Christmas music in general). He would tag along with me to the various rinks where I refereed, and could tell me how long it had been since I had been there – what the scores were – and if the home teams really had an advantage. We could play game like – you say a year (from 1968 forward) and he would tell you the Superbowl score and who the MVP was. Insightful or philosophical conversation was a struggle for him, and much like me, small talk was a mystery – so talking sports or weather were the predominant interactions.

Corey always had his mothers unwavering confidence in being right (along with a teenagers natural belief in knowing everything), which coupled with my love of being actively involved in sports, made him an ideal umpire. He inherited Sue’s generous outgoing nature and my stubborn brain (sorry Corkman!) and willingness to debate a meaningless point or a meaningful one. Although not "naturally gifted" musically, he worked hard at being a musician and unashamedly would join in any sing-along/strum-along and has now done very well with numerous instruments. He frequently tries to draw me into playing street hockey, football or basketball or whatever he & his pals are up to, or simply discussing music, sports, religion, politics.

Julie is possibly the least like me. She is free spirited and unreserved, outgoing and self-confident. She purposely takes time every day to work on daydreaming. Her musical talent although good, isn’t as natural as Mary’s & mine, but she unabashedly loves to sing and has adopted my love of 60’s/Beatles/CSN era music. Her artistic ability is more natural and advanced than my own, but she loves to express it in 60’s/FlowerPower images. She is clearly an anachronism from the 1960's, which I can fully appreciate even though I was a few years too young to have been totally immersed in it when it originally was happening. Although she is not a “natural athlete”, she certainly found a niche that she could perform very well in and has complete pride in her accomplishments while understanding that it is a fun outlet, not a life-altering pursuit. She freely expresses love for me, brags openly about me, enthusiastically embraces my hobbies and interests and happily participates in them, willingly excuses my flaws and failings, and greets every new day with joy and hope. If anyone wished they could know what Sue was like at 18 years old, simply spend a day with Julie and you will get a very authentic re-enactment (minus the older boyfriend, but nobody could figure that out anyway!). I lucked out in 1980 when Sue didn’t “go away” to college, so I didn’t have to suffer though this experience before. I think I'm about to get a glimpse of how I would have felt back then. You bet I am going to miss Julie while she’s away.

“I think I’m going to be sad, I think it’s today, yeah”

26th Anniversary - the adventure continues

As wedding anniversaries are celebrations of an event where (if you had done things by the book ) you did exciting things that you had never done before, the anniversaries should also include that same spirit of new adventure. We knew we wanted to get some outdoor exercise type of activity, but not too strenuous - and see something scenic and fun. We didn't have much discretionary income to spend, so we would pack a picnic, snacks and drinks. We contemplated Boston or Plymouth windowshopping, but then thought about taking the ferry to P'town would be fun - untill we saw the price ($40 per person round trip + $10 each if we brought the bicycles). But with that concept in mind, we looked at Martha's Vineyard and were surprized at how much CHEAPER it would be ($15 per person + $6 per bike - round trip). Although I had gone to Martha's Vineyard over 40 years ago with my grandmother, and Sue had ( a couple years ago) visited a friend who lives there, we had never adventured there together. So Thursday August 27th, we loaded the pickup and headed to Falmouth. The shuttle bike-bus from Palmer Street is a trip all it's own, but after waiting with the way-too-talkative driver, and getting squeezed to well beyond safe or legal capacity, we did make it to the ferry in time. As bicyclists are last to load, we had trouble finding two forward-facing seats with a view, but after a few scouting trips around the decks, we settled in for a quiet ride. Once in Vinal Haven, we walked the bikes through the crowded streets of shops & shoppers. After finding air for our tires & a map of the island, we headed off in the direction of Edgartown. The main road has nice wide bike lanes so the ride is safe and relatively easy. Along the way we discovered an Alpaca Farm to pop into (but decided to NOT spend the $5 per to tour the grounds and see the animals up close (we can do that at any of the many fairs). We ate out picnic lunch in Edgartown and explored around a lighthouse that overlooks the harbor and Chappaquidick. Then followed Beach Road along 5 miles of sandy beach and warm calm water and lots of young families. Sue waded in, thought seriously about taking a swim - until she realized that Jaws was filmed somewhere off of this island (or maybe nantucket, but either way - too close). I had been standing knee deep with the famous bass music playing through my head at the exact moment she turned and said "wait a minute...." So off we headed to Oak Bluff - the "trendy" part of the island we had been told. We found an ice cream shop that had caramel (not so easy to find now-a-days) and sat and looked at the enormous boats ($$$$$$$$$$$$$). Keeping tabs on the time, knowing when we had to catch the next ferry out of VH, we cruised the final 3 miles back to our point of origin with half an hour to spare. Having pedaled about 16 miles, we were a bit tired, and our legs and buttockes were a bit sore, yet we were feeling refreshed at the ability to spend this time together uninterupted enjoying the glorious weather, beautiful sights, and inspiration for future adventures. Back on the mainland, we decided we still had enough left to allow us to pedal the 4 miles back to the truck - therefore avoiding the bike-bus debacle. In the end, we totaled about 20 miles - not bad for "non-strenuous exercise". As I paid the $12 parking fee, we knew for sure that NEXT TIME - we park free at the bike-trail lot & pedal to Woods Hole (cause lets face it - the lot there is ALWAYS full. We dined at a restaurant that we had never tried before (Bayley's Surf & Turf in Wareham), ending the "never-done-before" portion of our anniversary celebration.

Dinner with Julie

Julie has been working all summer babysitting for young neighbor boys, and actually saving most of her money (an uncommon trait in this family). As the time is drawing near for her to head off to her campus dorm room, time is running short for special father/daughter bonding time – something that she has expressed a wanting for (again, an uncommon trait – her mother being the other exception). She mentioned a while ago, quite proudly, that she wanted to treat me to dinner out before she left and while she could still afford to. So Monday night, while Sue & Joe were still in NH, and Tim & Yon were at work, and Jamie was at the Fair – leaving me, Julie & Nikki to decide dinner for just us – we happily decided that it would be an ideal time to eat out. Nikki wanted TGIF and Julie wanted Friendly’s. Figuring that Jules would be covering 2/3rds of the bill, I let her choice win – Friendly’s it was. Nikki, in her best “cut off my nose to spite my face” stubbornness decided if it wasn’t TGIF, she would stay home with a Fluffernutter. As I am always amused when they decide to “punish me” by being uncooperative, Julie & I left Nikki and somehow managed to have some guilt-free fun anyways. We talked about her impending departure from our everyday lives, and what to expect and how to best deal with some of the new situations she will likely encounter for the first time. We also worked on a plan for a “take-your-father-out-of-work” day adventure for next week, as the kids will be back at school and she’ll be briefly free. A canoe trip up the Green Harbor River sounds like a fun adventure – maybe after a stop at the RMV for a 2nd try for a learners permit (which is after all a stereotypical job of the father, right?). Wow – hard to believe we are all ready for this next step. How will I adjust to not having my daughter (who still proudly claims me as her own, still freely hugs me or kisses me goodnight, or gleefully shares songs/jokes/anecdotes with me) around to let me know that I’m not a total failure as a father? (‘cause ya know that enough of them are all to eager to point out all of my parenting “flaws”!!)

Sue and Heather running Carver Race 2009

PLC --Time --Pace --PLC/Group --PLC/Sex --Bib# --Name --Town, State

145 -- 45:23 --9:05 --16 30-39 --48 F --104 --Heather Weydt --Hanson,MA

180 -- 51:48 --10:22 --16 40-49 -67 F --10 --Susan Blauss --Carver,MA

A day late and a run short

You guessed it - we battled it out tooth & nail with "Haircuts by Lorie" in the championship game, but in the end - came up 1 run short. Excitement and tension were the rule for the day. We shut them out in the first inning and scored 3 ourselves. Then they went ahead by 2, then we went ahead by 2. Kayli pitched 3 strong innings & Nikki 2. Nikki caught 2 rocket line drives right back at her but just couldn't get the double play on the base runner. Christy, playing 3rd base for the 1st time this year caught a tough pop-up/fly ball behind her. Adrianna made a nice running shoetop catch in right field. We went into the home half of the last inning needing 2 runs to tie & 3 to win and our bottom 2 batters up - then the top of the order. Having pre-arranged it with the other teams coach who graciously agreed, Kayla - our girl who broke her finger two days before (catching a fly ball) would be allowed to pinch run for whichever girl got on base first. That was Sam - who had hit the best ball of the year (for her) and got a single. Kayla stole her way to 3rd base and scored on Kayli's line drive to center. Taryn crushed a drive to the out field - but Kayli had to hestitate making sure it fell in, and stopped at 3rd as the potential tieing run. Our two biggest hitters were coming up to face the fastest pitcher in the league. All we needed was one ground ball or one wild pitch to tie the game, and she had been throwing plenty of them. Instead, she bore down and struck out both Alex & Adrianna (we didn't even luck out with a dropped strike 3) and the best game of the season was over - a day late and a run short.