2007 Birthday/FamilyReunion/Christmas Party

Starting with the two special guests of honor - Nenna and Aunt Edie, who's birthdays are December 16th (same as Beethoven, my piano-playing savant mother will inform you) lets see if I can remember who made it to the annual family party this year.

from the Blauss clan = Wes & Joanne, Donnie & Sue & Tim & Corey & Julie & Jamie & Nikki & Joe, David & Dawn & Dana & Caileigh, Laurie & Dick & Chris Bianci, Marlene & Thom & Ian (and girlfriend) & Emily (and boyfriend) Freidrich, Debbie & Scott & Stephanie and Al "Sayce/Blauss/Ripley", Mary & Matt Edwards, Yon Hanlon

from the Howland clan = Billy & girlfriend & daughter Shelbie & grand-daughter, Eilien & Russ & Sarah & Selina Burns, Heather & Jack & Jessica Weydt

from the Tobin clan = Skip & Robbie & Travis, Billy, Tommy, Garth, Kathy & Chuck & Sarah & Cameron Fuller, various Gilson's (aunt Edies husband and family who's names I know not)

from the McClellan clan = Aunt Maria, Aunt Shirley, Joanne & Fran & Sean Coyle, Jimmy & Maureen & Brendan &Connor & Kate Daley

from the Doyle clan = Aunt Sally, Mark & two children, Chrissy & husband & children, Julie & Husband and son (again - bad with names of cousins kids, who I see once per year)

random outsider = Amanda (college friend of Corey's who also knows Wes, Laurie, Nenna and others from around town)

*** somewhere around 73-75 if my memory and math are reasonably close ***

*** just a few people short of being one for each year of Nenna's life ***

*** 5 guitars, 2 fiddles, 1 mandolin, 1 Celtic bazouki, 1 bodhran ***

[ view the entire photo album here at http://picasaweb.google.com/don.sueblauss/ChristmasPartyReunion2007 ]

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this...
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

And:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

But:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

NOW, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty
that: While Knowledge and Hard Work will get you close,
and Attitude will get you there ,
It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

I don’t sound jealous do I?

I have heard the saying that “Money attracts money” but this was overkill.

Rob – the keyboard player from the band I am no longer in – seems to have money. BIG boat ($$$), BMW ($$$), lots of pianos ($$$), takes lots of trips ($$$), etc, etc….

I emailed him yesterday – “Happy Holiday’s, how’s things going” stuff.
He replied that the band is making slow progress, but he bought a new electric spinet piano ($$$) and is playing every Friday night – decent and easy money “($$$) not that I need the money” ($$$) he says. Then he tells me that he and his girlfriend are going to Jamaica ($$$) for a vacation.

And then he remembers to tell me “Oh Yeah, I won $10,000 on a scratch ticket” ($$$$$$$$)

Jason is alive and well

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IF_J14GJpkM

Thanksgiving Jam

Thanksgiving Vegetables

I Love Stupid Hockey Coaches

Seriously, I do!
Just when things on the ice are getting sloppy and the kids are hacking foolishly and it’s just turning into a frustrating game to referee , a coach will usually come through with some STUPID remark or question – so dumb that it makes me chuckle for the rest of the day. The best part is when it’s a coach who’s whole demeanor has been “I’m Mr. Bigshot Coach”.

So Sunday I had my “Stupid Coach of the Day” experience during my 3rd & last game of the day. This was a game between the "two best teams in the division" (so OK, it’s the “C” league – which if you can figure out from the normal hierarchy of things, means it’s not the “A” league or even the “B” league – so being the two best is a relative issue). The teams were indeed better than most “C” teams – faster, better stickhandlers, more aggressive and harder hitting. The problem is that “C” players usually haven’t learned to “hit” correctly, and these guys were proving it as fast and often as they could. As I whistled my 6th penalty of the first period and was explaining to the player that you can’t legally check an opposing player who does not have the puck. Coach A of the home team overhead this statement and started in.

(Coach A) “WHADDAYOUMEAN they can’t check someone without the puck?”
(me) “Coach, your player was the puck carrier. The only person who can be legally checked IS the puck carrier. Therefore, your player can’t go and throw a check at the opponent.”
(Coach A) “WHAT? You mean to say if I have the puck and someone is about to hit me that I can’t hit him first?”
(Me) “That is correct”
(Coach A) “That’s BULLSHIT”
(Me) “That’s a bench minor penalty. Now you need to put another player into the penalty box.”

You can probably infer that by my labeling him as “Coach A”, there is going to be a “Coach B” (see how much smarter than hockey coach you are!)

Now about half way through the 2nd period and a dozen penalties and twice as many verbal warning to players during the course of action, I’ve had enough and resort to a stunt that I haven’t used in 10 years. I stop the game (but not the time clock) and tell the coaches of both teams that I want to speak to the team captains. As a courtesy (and because 14 year old “C” hockey players occasionally aren’t too bright either) I speak loud enough so that the coaches (and the parents who are now 80 feet away and behind me) can hear what I have to say. I tell them that they WILL NOT continue to play with their hands and sticks up around the head. I tell them that they WILL NOT continue to chase opponents half way across the ice to hit them. They WILL NOT crash into the crowd in front of the goalie after the whistle has blown. From this point on they are going to keep their sticks down and their hands close to the body.

(Coach B) “So your not gonna let them play hockey?”
(Me) “Not this kind of hockey. I encourage them to play the kind of hockey where they don’t try to remove somebodies head.”
(Coach B repeats, because these things apparently sink in slowly) “So your not gonna let them play?”
(Me) “That’s right Coach. I will not allow them to play they way they have been playing.”

Now, because technically I’m speaking to the team captains, I ask them if they understand my instructions. They claim they do, and that they agree to play the game under my conditions. I tell them to go back to their benches and let their teammates know that if they don’t play better that we will play the rest of the game 3-on-3 with two players always in each penalty box ‘til the end.

Not too long later, and after a few more penalties by the home team (the visiting team appeared to have taken the hint),
(Coach B quietly asks me) “Are you gonna keep calling these for the rest of the game?”
(Me) “Coach, that’s up to you and your players.”
(Coach A – in a weak attempt at humor, offers) “I hope you don’t wear out your whistle”
(Me – in the most sincere and professional voice I can muster at the moment) “That’s OK. I always carry a spare.”

First Snowfall

Just saw the first snow that I've seen this season!

Supper with Joe

Last canoe trip of the season

Aunt Maria sent an email saying a couple of trees had come down at the pond, and although the canoe (that I had chained down there for the summer) was spared, I probably want to take it home now. Julie, Nikki, Yon, and Tim were the only people at home awake (Sue was in a heavily medicated sleep due to her bad back medicine). Julie was the only child to volunteer to go with me to get it. We decided that being a beautiful sunny albeit cool day, we should at least bring the life jackets and paddles (and warm coats and gloves) and take one last cruise for the year. The water in the pond was unusually low so Julie started by walking the shoreline to the left -over to the Rainbow Girls Camp looking for once-sunken treasure. Then we paddled out into a light breeze and explored around the Camp Kiwanee boat dock area. We could hear the sounds of men’s voices and hammering and sawing up around the camps main lodge. As we drifted past below, we spotted my brother David and another guy working on side slope between the lodge and the waterfront. After chatting from our floating vessel for a few minutes, we headed back to our own piece of beach and hoisted the canoe onto the roof racks of the car. While I strapped the canoe down, Julie now went to the right, through the Cranberry Cove swim area to explore the now accessible shore along the Kiwanee side of the pond. Ater catching up with her, we followed the long uphill path to the Kiwanee Lodge to see what David was indeed up to. David and his friend Joe were mildly surprised to have unexpected company – particularly David when he then realized “Oh, that was YOU GUYS in the canoe we were just talking too!”. We got the run-down about the “viewing platform” they were going to build, then we joked about getting out before they roped us into helping. Of course, within moments they did – realizing that the two extra sets of hands would indeed be handy in lifting, balancing, and nailing into place the rough platform supports and bracing. After about 15 minutes of manual labor and wisecracks about how they should have hired a professional carpenter (which of course Dave actually is) we were on our way again. Seeing that Aunt Maria was now home (she wasn’t when we came in) I figured we should take a few seconds to let her know we were indeed taking the canoe home. Of course this “few seconds” turned into a half hour, joined by cousin Maureen. On our way out we checked out the “split-in-half-but-not-yet-fallen” tree in Maureen’s yard that was potentially threatening to drop on her roof at the next good gust of wind.
All in all a very pleasant, unexpected, and rare stretch of relaxing middle-of-a-beautiful-day quality time for me and my Julie.

Happy Autumn!

Running Up Plenty (GO PAT'S)

(sung to the tune of RUNNING ON EMPTY by Jackson Browne)

Looking out at the turf rushing under Moss’s heals
Looking up at the ball in the sky, and the mismatch he’s revealed
He’s 6foot 5, and jumps 12 feet high, and they’re covering him three-on-one
And I know where he’s running now, he’s just running on
Running on – scoring a touchdown
Run it up – run it high
Running up – scoring ‘til the last gun, leave you so far behind

Gonna do what we can just to make it so you babies cry
Now don’t be confused, we can whoop you without the need to spy
Scores 69 to your 17 and we’re throwing to 81
Of course we could take a knee but that’s just no fun
Piling on – another touchdown
Run it up – run it high
Running up – scoring ‘til the last gun, leave you so far behind

Every team we beat, we beat them so complete
That they need some reason to believe that it must be that we just know how to cheat
If you stay and fight, that’ll be alright
We’ll just send 5 guys wide, and our dust you will eat

Looking out at Wes Welker and Randy and Stallworth and Watson and more
I don’t know how to tell you all just how easy it seems to score
Tom looks around for the pass rush but his offensive line won’t let them through
Just for a little surprise, well we can run it too
Running on – another touchdown
Run it up – run it high
Running up – scoring ‘til the last gun, leave you so far behind

Belichek’s really tempted To make opponents lose their mind
He’d love to stick it to them and make them kiss his behind
You know I don’t even know why they're wasting our time
Playing out the 4th quarter when they’re so far behind

Unsolicited advice that Sue say's I shouldn't leave on Katies blog

Katie, Katie, Katie….

Let me start by saying I love reading your blog. You are certainly able to clearly and thoughtfully articulate to the world (all 5 or 10 of us) your thoughts and dreams and fears. It made me smile to see me listed by name in your dream sequence. You should know that we all love you dearly and want the best for you in all that you do. So – against the advice of the smartest person I know who tells me that bloggers don’t really want to hear my opinions, and that women don’t want men to fix things but just listen – I will foolishly offer you some well intentioned words of advice and a well aimed kick in the pants (all with great love and caring).
(What can I say – I’m a father and part of a fathers job is to give unwanted advice, so here goes).
(ps: does the phrase “Be afraid, be very afraid” come to mind here?)
(Stop me if you’ve heard this one before)
(Stop here if you don’t want to hear this at all)
=================
Katie, Katie, Katie,

you have clearly determined that God has:
1. given you a calling
2. created you with the ability to fulfill that calling
3. shown you signs
4. offered you an opportunity
5. done this all with unmistakable clarity

you are able to eloquently convince all of us that:
1. this is all true
2. you are ready for this change
3. you are excited for this to happen

why do you insist on:
1. worrying about if you should do it or not? (you already know the answer)
2. looking to friends and family for advice and guidance? (we would rather give support for your decision, but until you decide, we can't because we don't know what to support)

If you resist following God’s advice (advice you prayed for and clearly received an answer for), why on earth would you follow ours? Faith is trusting in the unknown. If you are on a journey of Faith, how can you not trust?
In your dreams, God has shown you all of the wonderful things He has already provided you with on one train. On the other train He shows you many more wonderful things that He has in store for you. At some point in time they will join together (instead of crashing into each other with one winning over the other - maybe your feeling of being pulled in different directions is a result of the effort you are supposed to go through to join the two trains together. God will give you the power to do so). He has offered you this possibility at the perfect opportune moment in your life.
(remember Captain Jack Sparrows advice: Wait for the opportune moment).
You have free will and can choose whatever path. If you are destined to be somewhere, He will get you there – no matter how hard you make it on Him (and on yourself). If you take a different path than the one He offered you, He will walk with you on your path – constantly getting in your way to try to divert you towards the right direction.
(and you will hear Captain Jack’s voice saying “If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it”)

Here is a question that you have probably heard before (it’s not my own).
“What decision would you make if you had no fears?”

I already know the answer because you have already made it clear, which means that YOU already know the answer, which in turn means that your next blog should be about what to pack and whether to fly out of Boston or Manchester.
Of course you know all of the wonderful people that you will be leaving behind – people that will continue to love and support you. What you don’t yet know is all of the wonderful people and adventures that are awaiting you in Chicago. Maybe whatever you have hoped for in life but have not yet discovered is waiting for you out there. Every moment you hesitate to go find it leaves you standing here unfulfilled and incomplete. Maybe you will go there, find what you are supposed to find, and stay. Maybe you will go there, find what you are supposed to find, and bring it back to share with us. Whatever the answer is, it’s out THERE – not here.

So there it is. My unsolicited advice, advice that I was advised against giving (clearly I don't listen to advice either). I was sternly told that normal people who write in a blog DON’T REALLY WANT TO BE GIVEN ADVICE. I am evidently not normal people – If I write a thought that inspired anyone to want to offer advice, I would hope that they would not withhold it from me – even if the advice was “DON’T BE AN IDIOT - LISTEN TO YOUR WIFE!”

Carver Townie Tune

My favorite morning radio station WROR with Lauren & Wally is having a contest. One one the morning team guys, Tom Doyle, does parodies of songs and local towns -- called Tom's Townie Tunes. They decided to have listeners submit "Townie Tune" songs of their own about their own towns, with the grand prize being $5000 and having Tom Doyle record it and play it on air.

OK -I can do that (and could really use the 5 grand!!!)

(sing to the tune on Jimmy Buffet’s Margeritaville)

Livin’ near the Cape
Way down route 58
Watching the tourists at King Richards Faire
The traffic is a pain
Down by Savery Lane
Pickup trucks of all sizes are all we own here

Wasting away our day down here near Edaville
All our houses surrounded by bogs
Some locals complain that no one knows our real name
well it's CARVER
and no, it's NOT on Cape Cod

I don’t know the reason
Our taxes are squeezin’
Now no one who’s from here could ever afford
but we’ve got 20 sub shops
And one Chinese restaurant
With this kind of nightlife no wonder we’re bored

Wasting a whole days pay down here at Edaville
Trying to get my family a ride on the train
Some people say the Lights look good in the snow
All I know
Our winter’s nothing but rain

Over there at the gun club
It’s not even a good pub That's too bad,
maybe all the zealots would just stay in there
Our Catholic Church filling
The old Star Market building
If our God's in a strip mall we haven’t a prayer

Wasting away a day down here near Edaville
Waiting for those cranberries to float
Some people say we’ve got some old gov’nors name
But I know
We have no reason to gloat

Yes and
Some people complain theres chemicals, noise, and fog
Why’d they buy
A house by the bog

Blog MEME

it's another meme! (received from the wonderful MARGMOR - I wonder who she really is behind that ghost-writer name?)
Here's a fun quiz made up especially for bloggers. The rules are easy. Just post the quiz on your blog and answer the questions, then pass it on to five other bloggers, and link to them in your post.
(sorry, you mistake me for someone who’s savy, or who follows the rules)

1. Do you attend the Traditional Latin Mass or the Novus Ordo?
the what’s it's?
2. If you attend the TLM, how far do you drive to get there?
can't get there from here
3. If you had to apply a Catholic label to yourself, what would it be?
run-of-the-mill-poorly-trained-formerly-Protestant-basic-believer (is that even one of the choices in the available drop-down list)
4. Are you a comment junkie?
ABSOLUTELY – love to leave them (have been known to go overboard), love to see if they will actually get posted or not (someone gets all snooty and refuses to post comments that may have any hint of dissagreement or dissent - where's the fun in that, so I am compelled to see how much I can get away with saying before I cross her editor line -- BAAAH HUMBUG!) (just a little game I like to play)
I love to get them (and I don’t care if you agree or not) and am always childishly bummed when nobody leaves comments for me (I spend a lot of time being bummed)
5. Do you go back to read the comments on the blogs you’ve commented on?
Well “duh”! I love to read how witty I was!
6. Have you ever left an anonymous comment on another blog?
Sure, often – well, actually always with inserting some "witty" made-up name – I have every faith that you know who I really am! (the stupid wisecrack remarks would give it away anyway so it's not like "anonymous" is anything anonymous)
7. Which blogroll would you most like to be on?
actually, THAT I don’t put much thought into, although I suppose I would be flattered (and could be easily tricked into thinking it means you like me if you added a link to me - but alas, I'm not linked there so I know too well where I despondantly stand)
(:-(
8. Which blog is the first one you check?
HerMajesty of course (Always start with the queen! Who knows, maybe she said something nice about me!)
Then, faithfully every day (work is slow, so usually OCDishly multiple times – how am I supposed to know what time of day somebody might post, and I'd hate you to have you think that you didn't get read until the next day?) Mary, Margo, Paula, Mary’s graveyard blog, my own (just in case somebody left a comment and I didn’t get the email notification – no, I don’t screen them. If you comment, it’ll be there - say whatever you want - good, bad, or scathing). Now Julie, Corey and neice Stephanie have blogs – so my list is growning.
9. Have you met any other bloggers in person?
People I know are the only ones I care to follow. It's a neat way to keep in touch despite everybodies crazy busy schedules and "other-side-of-Boston" geographical obstacles which make it hard to see each other on a regular basis
10. What are you reading?
say what? Books? (You mistake me for somebody who reads anything OTHER than your blogs?)
Well I did just review the USAHockey rule book 2007-2009 edition - time to take my annual referee test.
I pass this quiz on to :
I got no one – they are all taken already

The Island - Oct 2007

Work is slow, so I had the day off. Kids were at school and Suzie was sleeping (after working the over-night shift). I was alone for the day and it was a warm fall day, perfect for taking a little canoe ride out to the island (no - not THAT island, the Green Harbor River family island) to see how things looked. Eric has been out during the summer to mow and clear some, to keep it from getting too over grown.

It's Almost That Time again

I just checked the calendar and counted back to when the last edition came out, and now I can feel the excitement building within. I faithfully (obsessively-compulsively) check every day to see if it's arrived (sometimes twice a day) even though I know I'm being silly - it'll get here when it gets here - but every day that it DOESN'T arrive means it's one day closer to arriving. Of course I (and many other fans I know) am eagerly looking forward to the latest edition of the "PAULA QUARTERLY REPORT" ( http://pflan.blogspot.com/ ). She is clearly the smartest blogger of us all. Instead of constantly satiating our greedy need for daily attention, she cleverly holds us at bay - making us desire her insight and philosophy all the more. Pure genius she is - and we impatiently wait, hoping today will be the day that she blesses us by sharing her genius with us.

Face-Off

Rink Rat

Hockey season 2007-2008 is officially open! 25 years of refereeing youth hockey and still enjoying it (even the clueless coaches and hapless players). It helps that my legs are still twice as long as most of the kids so I can still out-skate them end-to-end. And what's not to love - it's the one place I can go knowing that I have the authority to win every arguement (even if by some longshot I'm actually wrong, the stripes make me right).

Shame I don't get to wear them at home!

Al Oerter - 4-time Olympian Gold Medal Discus winner

Just heard on the radio that former Olympian discus thrower Al Oerter passed away today at 71 years old. Why on earth would this be noteworthy to me?

Well, first off, because I have met him. I would have been somewhere between 3 and 6 years old. Our neighbors across the street had a farm and the oldest boy Al Hall was an Olympic medal winning Hammer thrower and a friend of Al Oerters. Occassionally, the two Al's would practice together in a field on the farm.

(see also http://30phillipsst.blogspot.com/2007/02/playing-in-fields-or-halls-farm.html )

Secondly, as I was looking to see what info I could find about Mr. Oerter, I discovered a fascinating (to me anyway) comparison between him and my daughter Julie. They both started out as runners in high school, at 15 years old they both switched to discus, they both compete(d) for fun as a hobby (OK, a very serious hobby for Al) and competed with the simple goal of just throwing as far as they could (Al claimed to not understand why throwers started having rivalries because in his day they were all friends, during and after competition - and I see Julie having the same philisophical outlook). After retirement, Al took to painting as a professional artist - which is of course Julie's ultimate goal in life.

Who knows, maybe Julie will make the Olympics some day - just to complete the comparison.

(read article about Al Oerter at
http://www.iaaf.org/news/Kind=2/newsId=21022.html )

This just Poppled into my mind (NO, that’s NOT a typo)

Actually it’s a thought I’ve had off and on for a number of years now – about developing a musical religious program (using mostly all secular popular radio songs). I already developed a concept regarding mixing secular and praise music into a youth retreat format while acting as the music director for YOW retreats (Youth Outreach Weekend). YOW is no longer, but the concept remains – looking for a new outlet. Sue attended a 2-day retreat for area Youth Ministers which was run by two young men who’s act/program/call-it-what-you-will is known as “Popple”. They sing and play instruments and joke and lead prayer and witness and in general, evangelize – and I missed it. I did get to stop in later at night just to meet them and casually jam for a bit. They seem like real nice guys, and it’s cool to think that their “job” is to travel around the country getting paid to put on retreats/programs of various durations/intensity. Not a bad gig if you can get it. It’s probably good that I didn’t get to see them “in action” ‘cause I’d probably spend way too much time thinking “I could do that” (actually, you reading this is proof that I already have) even though logistics if nothing else would say otherwise. Having a wife & kids and being a wandering minstrel just doesn’t go together very well (damned family values are killing me!). I suppose it would help to for starters actually develop a program (it’s not enough to just have an idea and have an ability) but we have trouble finding the time to attend retreats, never mind develop and run one professionally. But maybe some day I’ll have time to work it all out (of course “that day” will probably be as I lie in my bed, an invalid at the nursing home. I’ll do lots of good thinking then!). Sue could be the MC and primary speaker and I would be her support/fill-in-the –gaps/offer-a-different-voice-perspective/music person (I know –it’s hard to imagine us in those roles but I think we could pull it off convincingly). Whether a real possibility or just a pipe-dream, it’s fun to envision it. And of course, we’d need a catchy name for ourselves.
(no Margo, not Both Dakota's)

The High Holy Cathedral of Saint Ted

Fenway Park - Thursday Sept. 20th

Earlier in the week my friend Mark called Sue to ask if we wanted his tickets to the Thursday Night RedSox game. Mark has “week-night-games-only season tickets” (who knew you could be that specific?) and we have managed to attend a few games over the years on night that he was unable to go. So, four games left in the regular season, a chance to clinch 1st place (if we were to win and if the Yanks had been kind enough to lose), of course we want to go!

Alright, so we lost and the Yankees won – but we totally enjoyed ourselves at baseballs greatest shrine!

Happy Phone Call

So I'm at work and my phone rings (usually means it's an upset customer) so I answer with my best Customer Service voice and am pleasantly surprised to hear Mary's chearful voice saying "Hi Papa" (she apparently doesn't know that I now have my own cell phone back from Corey -- and funny but she is the only person in the world who refers to me as "Papa" not that I mind, it's sorta cute - just an observation as I don't know where it originated from or when). Just wanted to tell me who she bumped into as she was returning to work from lunch break and happened to hold the door for a very large mailman who was entering at the same time. OK - I already know who THAT is before she tells me. Boston, Mail Man, Very Large -- the one and only "Little Drummer Boy" Andy. She of course confirms this to be true. He recognized her and spoke up first - she (who until just recently was still a kid and apparently never picked up on the fact that Andy was a mailman or that he worked in Boston - but to her credit did know he was very large) was at first caught off guard (the shades threw her off?) and then recognized him. So she told him how the family was and he told her about the movie that was coming out that he was an extra in (Game Plan), and that he hasn't played the drums for a while (well I coulda told ya that - they are still in storage at our church for the past 6 months). Anyway, what a nice surprise call - hearing unexpectedly from a loving daughter about a good friend - made a nice day even better.

Across My Own Universe

I just saw the new musical/movie “Across The Universe”.
Stunningly good – and that’s my completely biased opinion.

I’m not sure how to describe it. I’m not sure why or even how it affected me. I’m sure there must be deep psychological reasons and underlying issues and repressed memories and unfulfilled dreams churning inside of me that lots of therapy could wring out. In 1969 I started high school, my brother started college, the Vietnam War was raging, psychedelia and hippydom was trying to spread peace and love even if it meant fighting the police and National Guard, and music (specifically The Beatles) was sort of a lightning rod for channeling young people’s emotions.

I liked the musical “Hair” – the music, the story, the performers, the vibrant colors – but the characters did seem somewhat like exaggerated charactatures of common 60’s strereotypes. I’m sure that somewhere those exact characters existed, but I didn’t personally know any that were quite that extreme (in their own individual stereotypes) and it was certainly a stretch to think they all would have ended up associated together as they were in the plot. This story feels real, the characters are not larger-than-life. You do not feel like “here is the hippy, here is the tortured soul, here is the innocent sweetheart”, even thought they are all there. This would be a very good story without the music (or with different music). But here, the story line fits the music, or the music fits the story line – not only fits but is an essential part of the dialogue and the plot. It is heresy (to some Beatles fanatics) to imply that somebody could actually improve a Beatles song, but the interpretations of the songs so impressively fit the mood of each moment of the movie (no, not fit the mood – define the mood) that I was so glad that they didn’t just use the original Beatles songs, they recreated them powerfully. As stand alone songs they are beautiful, sweet, sad, joyous, and well loved friends forever. Used within a story, with characters who bring specific emotions out of them, with visual and physical content applied to them they can make you cry in pain or shake your soul or leap for joy or fall in love. AND you could insert yourself into the story as being any one of the characters and feel exactly what they were feeling on screen. But in the end, I’m not too interested in explaining the movie to you – although I will highly recommend you go see it (especially anyone between the ages of 50 – 60).

What I wish I could address is the way I respond to music (and I’m sure I will fail in trying). Most of you might want to simply stop here now, as the rest is destined to come off sounding like a vain attempt at being transcendental and pseudo-psychological and self-indulgent or just a load of crap. As much as I know I should not attempt to explain, I am much more stubborn than I am intelligent – so here goes.

There is something about certain music (not all music) that affects me deeply. Sure, lots of music can prompt lots people to tap their toes, bounce their heads, rise up and move or sing. It’s a common reaction and for some people, the primary function of music – simply entertainment. The right music can make my entire being hum. My insides react like a tuning fork that has encountered the exact matching frequency and responds by spontaneously vibrating. Susan was actually able to sense it as it was happening (she herself has an amazing ability to tune in to other peoples feelings) even though we were just sitting still – holding hands or with my arm over her shoulder. Harmonies and certain chord progressions (and usage of dischords) do that to me. It’s not a note, but the combined affects of specific notes- used simultaneously, or in sequence as the resonance or memory of the previous note is still audible. It literally moves my inner being like a microwave oven setting the molecules of frozen food into motion and generating tremendous heat. In particular, the songs “Dear Prudence” and “Because” nearly brought me to tears during the movie – and she could feel it through my arm. These are songs that most people easily pass over – would never show up on anybody’s list of “1000 greatest songs ever recorded” or even “top 20 Beatles songs”. But for me it’s as if I’m the earth, with a thick solid crust. Underneath is a mass of molten emotion, well contained (some may argue TOO well contained) and only able to occasionally vent through narrow, temporary outlets. But somehow, from somewhere, some harmonic vibration causes the lava to become excited and boil with greater intensity, building up pressure. This can cause the outer crust to feel excitedly alive and unusually flexible – bordering on ecstasy, but also bordering on pure serenity. It is complicated, and made more so as I feel as if I could easily go into a trance-like state if only I would allow it. What if I totally gave in and let it all flow out? (Is this where an accusation of being anal-retentive comes into play?)

There is an old story about a scientist who is working on the concept of the song that gets stuck in your mind and you can’t get it out. But of course you eventually do. So he studies and experiments and tries to construct “the perfect song” that you would happily NEVER get out of your head – and he succeeds and goes into a blissfully vegetative state for the rest of his life. His assistants are of course desperately tempted to know what the song sounds like but can see what their fate will be if they dare listen.

I have wondered what would happen if I assembled my perfect collection of songs (it would be HEAVILY dominated by Beatles) and put on my headphones. Maybe my controlling my insides from boiling too much is saving me from certain self-absorbed destruction, or maybe I’m preventing an incredible inner force from coming forth and redefining a totally transformed version of me. Like the scientists assistants dilemma, is it worth the risk? Why am I like this (not the long-winded story-telling problem (that’s a different issue), the inner musical vibration thing)? Do other people feel this way? About other things? HerMajesty about babies and puppies? Certainly some religious people feel this way about God? Maybe it’s like Timmy and his numbers in his head? Am I (are we) supposed to do something about it or simply live with it? But it’s not like I could turn it into a career or save peoples lives with it. It’s just my own personal universe.

The Heart Of The Matter

“The call came yesterday I didn’t want to hear,
but I knew it had to come”

"there are people in your life who come and go
they let you down, you know they hurt your pride
you gotta put it all behind you 'cause life goes on
if you keep carrying that anger, it'll eat you up inside
It’s time to get down to the heart of the matter
‘cause everything changes
and my thoughts seem to scatter but I think it’s about
forgiveness,
forgiveness,
even if, even if you don’t love me anymore”

The Heart Of The Matter by Don Henley

And the call did come. I wasn’t sure if it would, or if we would have it out at one last practice. In the end, the band member who seemed to be most on my side (or at least the most understanding of my side) got to be the one who called to let me know I was no longer in the band – they were moving on without me. I had spoken up too much, voiced too strong of an opinion, called them out when they said they would do one thing but immediately did the opposite. In the end, I think Rob mostly agreed with my point of view but couldn’t successfully defend me against the other angry members (of whom he was still band-mates with). I can’t help but think that he and I could very easily and successfully put our own band together – but of course it never was my intention to break up the band and I certainly would not feel right in suggesting it now. It would seem very vengeful and vindictive and possibly be construed as pre-meditated – none of which is true. (I may very well call him in a couple of months just to see how they are doing, though. I admit that part of me would be happy to hear they were stalled – and I would absolutely consider suggesting a new project with Rob in a heartbeat)

I believe the heart of the matter is this:
in Joni’s mind it was her band - even though she refused to publicly say so (she actually publicly rejected the idea of herself as the leader) and she hated confrontation and would avoid it as much as possible (but she got edgy if things didn’t go her way). When I auditioned, they narrowed it down to me and another guy. They called us both back with some thought of keeping us both and going as a 5-piece band (but the other guy bailed out the day of the return try-out). In retrospect and pure speculation, I wonder if she liked the other guy but Rob (or even Rob & Ken) liked me, and then when the other one dropped out she was stuck with me. To her credit, she never tried to hide the fact that she thought we should look for a 5th member – but she (initially) lost the vote. When I announced I couldn’t make it to her family cookout/band gig she was seriously distraught and insistent that the gig had to be played, it was critically important to her personally and for the band, and we HAD to and would find someone to fill in. And of course it would be hard to request somebody come learn a bunch of our songs on short notice, be the lead singer, for free, and not be offering him a continuing fulltime membership if he wanted it. This is when Bill came into the picture, and being a good friend of Ken’s meant she now had three of five votes in her favor. The funny thing is, when Bill first came to listen to us, he couldn’t understand why we would want him – we sounded too good (and the short prep time before the cookout gig was too daunting of a task). Whether he simply changed his mind or was talked into it I’m sure I will never know, but after turning us down he surprisingly did an about face and accepted enthusiastically.

So as I understand it (from general conversations and comments I picked up on) the gig went only so-so, but Bill was determined that this could turn out very good. He also repeatedly expressed how Joni’s vocals should be much more heavily featured (and of course he had a ton of songs of his own to offer). I know – this is where it becomes hard to retell the story without me sounding jealous or egotistical or threatened or paranoid – but despite my belief that a 5th member only complicated things, I made every effort to cooperate and figure out how to make it work. It helped that Bill had a lot of songs I really liked. But now with a majority bloc, Joni, Ken and Bill started speaking out that I had too many songs, we had too many worn out tunes, and too many bland tunes – and that we had to hit the brakes, back up and start over. And this is where I took a stand. I didn’t mind giving up songs – I had been actively trying to get the others to increase their own lists (and after discussion, everybody admitted this was true). I disagreed that slow songs aren’t dance songs – of course they are (and after discussion, everybody agreed). I disagreed that people are sick of hearing the same old songs – they WANT to hear songs they know (and after discussion, there was at least some agreement from all). I insisted that if we were so close to being ready before, we couldn’t be too far away now – but if we attempted mass renovations of our song list, we would never make it out of the garage (this is when we discussed the 2 in & 2 out concept and everybody CLAIMED to agree).

Rob told me over the phone that the others thought maybe I was trying for a power play. I suggest that Joni pulled off the real power play – slowly and steadily. I suppose I played right into it, but I also can envision that it was all just a matter of time. I wasn’t her choice, I tried to move us along, she didn’t trust my methods or my agenda – but she couldn’t say it (I’m guessing she didn’t even confide this to Ken or Rob).

I wondered what she would say to me when I went to her house to remove my amps and equipment from the practice garage. Would she be apologetic, cool but polite, angry? I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me but when I showed up, Joe (Joni’s husband) politely helped me pack my stuff and offered to pay me for the new strings I had just put on Joni’s mandolin. Despite the fact that her car was there, Joni never appeared - deftly avoiding a possible confrontation again.

So it’s over. In the end I can’t be mad at them. I feel sorry for them – Rob because he was really eager to get going and this is a big setback, especially considering that at least two other band members will be trying to determine the direction of the band which bears his name (Joni actually suggested the band name, not Rob) – Ken because all of the crap was coming down days before his daughters wedding – Bill because he was just the “new guy” trying to get with the flow, and he quickly figured out what direction the tide was flowing – and Joni because she should be able to put together her own band, a good band, the way she wants to but if she refuses to be the leader of her own band she will forever find herself avoiding confrontations with whoever dares to direct things – and desperately trying to turn things around to her satisfaction with out offending anybody. That is a tall task.

I am deeply disappointed as to how things turned out, but forgiving them is actually fairly easy and just feels right. I take responsibility for my own contribution to the situation, and I accept the consequenses. I feel better already.

“The ending of the tale is the singing of the song”
Simple Man by Graham Nash

Perspective

1) I felt that I was fighting for the band – they felt like I was fighting against the band
2) Sue was worrying that the new (potential) job would be too hard for her - the interviewer worried that it might be too boring for her
3) Sue is looking forward to getting out of working at the rehab, while cousin Dickie is looking forward to staying out of rehab

And now for something completely different....

being the signature line from Monty Pythons Flying Circus as they were about to introduce a new farce / segment ......

Wednesday night when I got home from band practice there was a message from Dick - he needed a fill-in guitarist for saturday night and wanted to know if I could do it. I played in Dick's band many years ago as a regular member until I decided that I really wanted to have my own band to play more current music. My goal was to play anything more current than 1950. You see, Dick is now 72 years old but still going strong. He is actually a pretty darned good lead guitar player, although when somebody else is singing a song he thinks nothing of over-playing on your lyrics. Most of his repeirtoire is old country and old oldies (think Hank Williams, Eddie Arnold, The Drifters, "She Stopped Loving Him Today" and "Red Roses For A Blue Lady") and a few Portugese traditional favorites sung with that stereotypical "too many drinks and too many smokes" gravel voice . So 10-12 years ago I left Dick and started my own band "Heartland"- all modern country from the 1990's. For anyone who follows new country music - yes - somebody else took my band name that I had never registered (and became a grammy winning band). I still would fill-in for Dick anytime he needed someone and time allowed. Dick is a great guy, always the sales man, always the entertainer, always your best friend - and sincerely so. OK - so he never has as much work as he claims, he hasn't learned a new song in ages, but he will on most nights let me sing some that I know (provided it's something easy that he can vaguely grasp as I'm in the middle of playing it to a live audience for the first time)(OK- live is a relative term as Dick's following is primarily his age and older - but they do like to dance and they ususally don't mind if Dick lets the young guy - me - sing some too). Now I have a three-consecutive-weekends stint with "The Travellers" while I wait and see what-the-heck is going on with the "Shain Reaction" band. I will enjoy it. It is no stress, low pay, low expectations, same ol' songs, with happy people who are simply grateful to have woken up this morning able to get out of bed. Dick's long-time drummer had to quit years ago due to cancer. Now his longer-time bass player recently followed suit. Dick now plays all of his gigs with whatever waifs and strays he can track down. I guess that makes me a "waif" and/or a "stray", but I'm happy enough with it for what it's worth. After 3 weekends in a row, I will once again be clear as to why I left in the first place and how much I want to be in a band with like minded enthusiastic musicians, a band that rehearses, that plays really good tunes, that sounds tight, that has pride, and enjoys the comradarie of "team-mates".

Did I Miss Something

Did I miss the real meeting and only dream the one that I recall? After determining that we would take the existing (near)working song list and each band member would identify 2 songs that they thought were worth replacing and suggest 2 songs to put in their place. Bill volunteered to redraft the existing list (there were actually two – one that we have been practicing and building for 6 months and one that they used at a cookout they played without me) and email it out to everyone. Bill is a close friend of Ken’s and was specifically recruited because I couldn’t attend our first informal gig - the aforementioned cookout. Bound and determined that this family gathering was very important to our future, Joni insisted we find a fill-in – or even a full-time 5th member. Although agreeing that a 5th member – one who can sing, play guitar and piano – would make us more versatile, I wasn’t convinced that we needed more versatility (we could certainly select and learn to play 1000 good songs very well with the original 4 of us). I expressed a concern about trying to add a new unknown (to most of us) member might disrupt the friendly easy-going atmosphere and feared that the process of getting him up to speed and learning a dozen or more of his songs would seriously slow down our progress. As good as everybody is, we already weren’t as far along as I would have hoped but we were starting to feel very good about ourselves. We were convinced that we were “almost there”.

Now, instead of redrafting “the working list” and suggesting 2 to drop, 2 to add - Bill opted to forward a list of 20 songs to practice – 18 that were not on the existing list. My recollection was that this is what we were deliberately trying to avoid – endlessly suggesting “potential songs” that may or may not eventually make it while never solidifying the working list. So I end up having this silent debate in my mind – do I stand my ground, do I shut up and just see what happens, do I try to be politically correct, try to negotiate, tell myself I’m being defensive or jealous or egotistic or overly sensitive, trust that things will work out alright, or see the writing on the wall? Did I intuitively predict the future or am I creating a problem that doesn't actually exist? Was I right or am I wrong?

Shoveling Against The Tide

So we had our big band meeting. Not bad, not 100% rosy but people got to voice their concerns and opinions. Everyone still agrees we should be able to be a very fun band (for ourselves and an audience). Everyone still professes to respect and like each other. Rob was good at sticking firm that we should be working toward playing out as soon as possible and that we need to put together a CD/Tape and Band Bio so he can start talking to clubs. Our plan is to record a few songs for this on Sunday the 23rd. This is good – it should get us focused and motivated. The sooner he can line up a gig or two, the more determined we will be about solidifying a set list.

In the end, different people had different ideas over what songs we should be learning. While the general type of song is fairly well agreed on, there is some debate over “is this really danceable?” or “how many slow songs per set is too many?” or simply “I always wanted to do this song! Can we try it?” These are certainly not irreconcilable differences that would break up the band.

We basically agreed that we should look at the current song list and each of us should pick two songs we would like to dump and offer two songs we would like to replace them with. Then we would all vote whether or not to indeed replace any individual song that someone proposed to dump. If we all picked different songs and with no objections, in one session this could result in 10 out of 45 being turned over. Not a horrible solution and everyone seemed to accept this suggestion. Of course we weren’t totally clear if we are doing this based on the “set list” or based on the “here are all of the songs we’ve tried so far” list.

Finally we got to actually practice some music. Bill had mentioned a Mick Jagger song (not a Rolling Stones song) that he felt was probably Mick’s best song ever and a great tune for us to try – catchy beat with a different but not difficult chord structure. Of course nobody had ever heard the song before but Bill had it on CD and had the lyrics already printed out – which included lines like "You're a apin in the butt when you're Puking out your guts" and“You blew Jelly-Faced Joe and Pedro the Pimp. I’m as hard as a brick, I hope I never go limp”. Maybe I’m a hypocrite by cringing at the thought of playing that song in public while gladly singing “Love The One You’re With”, but if choosing between the vaguely veiled moral looseness of the whole 60’s “peace, free love” attitude and the specifically crass and not even remotely poetic or romantic “shock rock” imagery of one rude/horny guy’s urges – I’ll go with the one with the lyrics that everyone knows so well and that only insinuates what might happen with the boy and girl. I’ll pass over the one that I would be embarrassed to sing in front of my kids or my mother.

I guess I’m still not clear on who is pushing the tide and who IS the tide.

You face the future with a weary past
Those dreams you banked upon are fading fast
You know you love her but it may not last you fear
It's never easy and it's never clear
Who's to navigate and who's to steer
And so you flounder drifting ever near the rocks
(Dan Fogelberg – Hard To Say)

Pushing The Tide

“Push The Tide” was the band name proposed by Ken the bass player. It refers to the difficulty of trying to exit the harbor while the tide is entering. Although the name “Shain Reaction” is apparently the name that won out, I see where the other would be a very appropriate name for a group of all over-50ish musicians attempting to form a new Rock & Roll band. At the beginning of August we were talking excitedly about being on the verge of “ready to play out”. Now in early September, for a variety of reasons both simple and complicated, there is some discussion about needing to revamp our song list, define our direction, and not rush into anything anytime soon. Apparently being with a bunch of genteel easy going people can be as frustrating as being with a bunch of egotists. For my part of the problem, while the others all seem to have ideas of what they want to accomplish – I (after meeting them) had a clear vision of how it could be. I auditioned with them knowing what I wanted and listened to what they said they wanted. After a couple of weeks, it appeared to all that this was really an excellent combination of talent and had great potential. But it was THEIR band that I was joining (despite no name at the time) so although they were counting on me being able to initially carry the nights worth of music (about 75-80% so in effect, they were looking for a front man for them to be the backup band to) it was not a situation that I felt like I could or should be the “leader”. Unfortunately NOBODY felt comfortable being in charge, which can be a disabling or even fatal situation.

So we have been practicing as much as time allows for a bunch of busy working family people can get away with. I tested out a large number of well known and not too difficult songs with them, and many fell together rather easily. I also made it clear that I felt that vocal diversity was desirable – my voice wouldn’t last too long as being THE vocalist all night, and the audience would get bored listening to my voice all night long. And in the end, with somebody else being the lead vocalist on whatever amount of songs, I would end up harmonizing on those songs (which is less taxing than being constantly the lead vocalist) so in effect I would be singing almost every song in some capacity any way. NOT being the full time lead vocalist was not going to be a problem with me.

Joni the drummer also had a number of songs she had done in the past and hoped to continue doing. Some went well, some didn’t click right away. I tried to identify which ones I thought we could put together with the least amount of time and difficulty, and continued to encourage her to work on them and find more – and even suggested many that I had played with other female vocalists that I thought she/we could do well. Despite finding a number of her songs to be ones we should be able to do, she continued to add to her list of “potential” songs while not pushing to actually finish rehearsing ones that we had previously attempted.

Rob only had a couple of songs to sing and although he liked the idea of doing more, lacked the confidence to attempt too many too fast. I suggested that he look at any of “my” songs that we were doing and see if there were any that HE could take over singing. So far he HAS taken a couple of mine – with my blessing.

Ken has continually resisted being the vocalist on any songs despite having a perfectly good singing voice – citing the difficulty in playing bass and simultaneously singing.

Bill the newest and 5th member arrived with an extensive list of possibilities – of which we quickly tried to identify which ones would fit in best and that we could play without setting back our time table too far.

So, as we are all busy besides trying to do the band and have trouble focusing and making forward progress, I hoped to help the situation by taking the songs we had developed the best so far and try to create a 3-set song list from them. I find this to be the best way to see if you have too many slow songs, or too many that are too similar, and to balance the vocals so that no set gets overloaded with one persons songs while another is under utilized. I can’t/don’t want to sing eight songs in a row. Each version offered was always with the expressed hope that the others would comment and contribute to the process. The most recent list (adding a handful of Bills songs and therefore reducing my workload to less than 50%) I sent out a week ago. A couple of comments/ suggestions were emailed back and forth, and then surprisingly some previously with-held complaints started coming out. Apparently I was hogging too many of the songs, and too many of the songs were worn out and beat to death while others were not rocking or danceable enough. Not surprisingly, I was initially upset at the criticism (I had been hoping for input, not blame). I felt that they were unfairly forgetting that when we met, they NEEDED me to sing most of the songs, and I had – through my own efforts – REDUCED my work load considerably already. It also drove home the fact that we NEED a leader, and I am still not the right choice for the situation – someone else has to step up.

So tonight we gather for practice, where we know we have to talk over these differences of opinions and maybe sooth a few hurt feelings (some of which may well be my own). I expect a fruitful outcome. Every body professes to have great admiration for each others musical abilities and personalities, and we all agree that there is indeed tremendous potential to proudly perform some really good music. Booking lots of work may indeed be a feat of “pushing the tide” but once we get out I believe the “Shain Reaction” will be a good one. This should be really fun and likely be the best band I have every played with. I just need it to happen soon because I can’t wait!

24 and there's so much more

"Old Man look at my life, 24 and there's so much more."
Written by Neil Young at 24 years old (talking to the caretaker - the "Old Man" - of his ranch) bemoaning his confused lot in life, shy and uncomfortable with relationships (especially with women) and uncertain if he will be able to live out the favored life that appears to be laid before him. Of course he had no way of knowing how fortunate (despite some avoidable and unavoidable hardships along the way) his life would eventually become.

"4 and 20 years ago I come into this life. Son of a woman and a man who lived in strife, he was tired of being poor."
Written by Stephan Stills at 24 years old, bemoaning his confused lot in life (he keeps switching from 1st person to 3rd person story-telling throughout the song). Of course he had no way of knowing how fortunate (despite some avoidable and unavoidable hardships along the way) his life would eventually become.

"24"
the TV show detailing the intense and suspenseful (and seriously hard to believe) events that unfold in a 24 hour period, leading you to believe that at the end of 24 hours the story is complete. Of course the show has run for many seasons, meaning that of course the story never ends - it just transforms and expands and finds new angles.

At 24 years old I felt very much like Mr. Young and Mr. Stills (without the Rock Star fame and fortune and drugs and groupies). But I had the good fortune at 24 to meet the Hanlon Family and in particular, Susan Hanlon. Of course I had no way of knowing how fortunate (despite some avoidable and unavoidable hardships along the way) my life would eventually become, but very fortunate it's been. Susan was 8 years younger than me - 16 when we met, 18 when we dated, 20 when we married on August 27th 1983.
And now it's August 27th 2007 - and I'm the old man looking at my own life after 24 years of marriage and there's so much more (yet to come). This show has had it's share of intense and suspenseful (and seriously hard to believe) events unfold in a 24 year period, possibly leading you to expect that the story must be just about complete. Of course the story never ends - it just transforms and expands and finds new angles. Having already lived through the many dramatic and humerous and suspenseful and romantic and unlikely and unbelievable "drama/sitcom" events of our life, I can only imagine and can't wait to see what the next 24 years will have to offer. I'll be 76 years old at that point, with grandchildren (Mary will be 47 and Joe will be 34 so very possibly no Great-Grand kids yet), and I fully plan to still have my much younger "Trophy Wife" (remember, Sue is 8 years younger than me - and she will make sure you never forget- so she'll only be in her sixties) who will still be pushing me to keep up. I'll still be insisting that I'm the one leading the way and pulling her along in my wake (maybe not - at 76yrs old "Wake" is not a word you want to use much). I plan on being much more gracious about allowing Scott and Margo and Paula to express their amazement and admiration over the depth of our love. I suppose I will still have moments when I frustrate and infuriate Susan, and then she will get annoyed at herself because she still gets that school-girl-in-love feeling of excitement in her stomach as she waits for me to come home. I will still be getting annoyed at her as she wonders when that baby urge will go away. I hope she's still eagerly learning new things. I hope I'm still finger-picking Helplessy Hoping on my 1955 Martin (no - I should hope for a 2015 Martin bought for me by my kids for a 60th birthday present). I hope I'm still physically fit enough for Sue to be justifyably mad at me for not dancing with her enough at our anniversay party. I hope that over the next 24 years I will finally figure out what the right thing to say is and when to say it. If not, I hope I still remember the words to Jim Croce's "I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song" - I promise you she'll still remember the first time I sang it to her (and where we were sitting and what color shirt I was wearing - Some things will never change).

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow,
burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you
(Longer by Dan Fogelberg)

It's the Time Of The Season 4-H'ing

Mid-August

Time to put up the 4-H Fair tents at the East Middleboro 4-H grounds. After 8 years or so, we have gotten pretty good at this. Last weekend they put up four tents without us -- this weekend we put up five tents in three hours. Pay particular notice to the undoctored photo of Corey swinging a sledge hammer. Friday August 31st the Fair opens with the first night of the auction (poor country folks ebay the old fashioned way) - Saturday during the auctions 2nd night Corey should receive a scholarship ($100 - $500) for all his years of participation and work (yes, I said Corey and Work in the same sentence) - Sunday morning when we would normally be working at taking it all down, we will be instead driving Corey to Northeastern University to start his college career.

Cheryl at work always views it that this is THE sign that summer is almost over - when she drives by on her way to work and suddenly the tents are up.

4-H tents and back-to-school.

Last Call for summer fun because no matter what your calendar say's about September 23rd being the Autumnal Equinox -- you only have one week left once the tents are all up.

Goodbye Summer!

The BUSY SCHEDULE competition - my turn again

Some people just never get it – you can never one-up us with the busy schedule card.

3:45pm left retreat house in Wareham refreshed and relaxed
3:50pm receive call from oldest daughter Mary saying she is waiting at the house for her birthday
4:15pm stop at Shurtleff Park to pick up sound equipment loaned to music group (only to find out they didn't actually borrow it so I didn't actually need to make this stop)
4:20pm entertain Mary & friends at house
4:45pm get Sue to bed (has to work at 11:00pm)
5:15pm remove cap from truck
5:30pm head for Hanson to pick up Queen Size Bed platform from Nenna’s house
(no small feat – Henry built it, and if you knew Henry you know what I mean)
6:00pm discover Red Sox BLEW another game to Baltimore and the Yankees won
6:45pm return with bed, pick up Julie and head to Kohl’s for back-to-school shopping
8:15pm finish shopping and treat Julie at Friendly’s
9:00pm return home to unload bed from truck (again – no small feat)
9:10pm send Corey out to gas up truck while I prep Sue’s supper
9:30pm wake up and feed Sue
10:15pm send Sue off to work
10:20pm send Corey & Julie off to purchase essential feminine products
10:30pm shower
11:00pm type letter
11:30pm bed
6:45am discover Phone message left at 6:30am about cat getting spayed today (we thought it was tomorrow)
7:15am call Sue (who’s driving home from work) to update her on the morning issues
7:20am return call to spay person – left message
7:25am return call to Chicken inspector to verify his visit later today
7:30am find cat carry cage
7:45am pick up Jamie from sleepover (because we thought the cat thing was tomorrow)
7:55am answer return call from spay people to verify the cat will be there between 8:00am & 8:00am send Corey to Duxbury with cat, send Sue to bed, send Jamie back to friends house (Corey insisted he didn’t want Jamie’s help)
8:05am leave for work (1/2hr late)
8:35am arrive at work (1/2hr late)
8:45am relax and start work
(total 17 hr time span)

cost incurred for above noted events: free retreat $50 (and well worth every penny btw), birthday (nothing YET - wait 'til wednesday), gas for van $30, bed $ hernia, Red Sox $ my sanity, Kohl’s $50, Friendly’s $12, gas for truck $20, feminine products $10, gas for car $10, the letter $ Sue’s sanity (ok – initially it will be lost but eventually saved), cat spay $65, chickens health check $5 (total $252)

Hello Corey (the original Corey)

So Corey (the one my son Corey is named after) moved away many years ago and is happily married and living in Monticello, Indiana. Long ago - before wives & kids - we played hockey & softball together, coached softball together, hiked together, hung out together - typical 20-something buddies. He was an usher at my wedding. At that time he was living in PA and we stopped to visit him on our way home from our honeymoon. Then he and Beth got married and moved to the midwest where she was from. They did come to visit once when Mary & Tim were very little, but I haven't seen him in about 20 years. Every couple of years we (I) would randomly call to say "hi" and we'd chat for half an hour - mostly about the good ol' days. Eventually I got hold of his email address and we would occasionally send a note - mostly notices about major events (Sue's parents deaths, Mary's wedding, etc...). The last couple of times we emailed, it ended up with about 10 responses back and forth. I told him it would be so much easier if he just signed up for IM. Lo and behold, the next day he emailed me to say he did. Ok - so I had to email him back to request his screen name - but now we can just chat. It's been a long time since we just chatted, but IM'ing is so great for that - you simply spot that the other person is "in the room" so to speak and if you have something to say - you do. So maybe it's sad that our first IM chat was still "do you ever hear from so-and-so" and "do you remember when...", but it's nice to think that now we can stay more current more easily. So many times he has talked about coming back to Ma. for a visit, and Sue and I were even ready to go visit him on our way to a rabbit convention - but for various reasons none of the trips ever panned out. He say's he wants to come here next summer, and for some reason I feel like it will actually happen this time. Maybe cause with IM, we can stay on top of the plan better (i.e. I can harrass him daily)! So day 2 of IMing with Corey - I've probably created a monster but what the heck, Corey is kinda like the big blue monster in Monsters, Inc - just big and friendly and well meaning - a sort of lovable gentle giant. Always has been, and after all this time and distance - it's nice to get a friend back considering that too often in life they just leave. So even if we only ever talk about the old softball team or old friends and good times, who cares - I often think about them, so why not have someone to talk to about them who lived through them with you. Welcome back, my old friend.

Goodbye Jason

My friend Jason is moving back to Arizona. I met him 8 or 9 years ago when he answered my add online looking for a bass guitar player. Aside from the unmistakable fact that he considerably taller than me (and I am 6'3") he stood out with his easy going and somewhat flambouyant attitude and excellent musicianship. He could play, sing, and he stood out in a crowd! Most importantly, Sue also thought he was great - the "Anti-Bob" as she referred to him as (inside joke) - despite the fact that she was appalled that I would trust meeting someone off of the internet. After a few years playing together in the band, Jason quit when he moved to Worchester. A while later when I had the need for a fillin bass player, I called him to ask if he could help out. Surprizingly, he said he had recently dreamed that I called him and we played together again - so he accepted. This lasted a while longer, but the travel distance and lack of steady band work was too big an obstacle, so he joined another band. Still, we made attempts to keep in touch and get together a couple times a year. The kids totally loved him and fight for his attention when he visits, and he is very patient and amused by them. When he called the other day to say he was moving back to Arizona where is mother and sister and many friends live, we were sad for us but happy for him. So a simple cookout and singalong at our house served well as a going away party, where we all got to do our best to make him feel loved (and feel bad for leaving us!). Julie & Jamie set him up with an "Instant Message" screen name under the assumption that he might actually IM with us, I gave him all of our blog links (so maybe he'll actually read this), recorded his special song "Interstate 80 Iowa", and of course took lots of pictures.





Goodbye Jason :-(
Peace be with you!

Hotel California - For What It's Worth

My Mary gave me the book “Hotel California” for Fathers Day, with her handwritten inscription “here’s a look at the crazy, wild, wacky, and just plain weird things that CSN&Y, James Taylor, The Eagles, etc got up to along the years”. Of course the mid sixties through the seventies was my music listening “Prime Time” and I know much about my icons. My musical heroes were young (only 5 to 10 years older than myself) men and women swept up by the power of music, witnessed music’s ability to move people and even culture and who were determined to propagate that movement. More than biographies about specific people, this is more of a story about the growth of the music industry through that particular era, and of course contains many stories about how the musicians helped start, create and change the industry. But unlike an authorized biography, the authors does not feel obliged to put a positive spin on anyone in particular, and paints a much broader picture of the musicians, the music, the times and the effect they had on each other.

The book chronicles how these rebellious young singer/songwriters and music industry upstarts congregated in L.A. in the 60’s – hungry, restless, motivated, committed, and eager to change the world. Of course, as they start to succeed in changing their world, their world changes them. Eventually most of them become the exact people doing the exact things that they so vigorously protested against when they were starting out. Their rebelliousness against the establishment was the reason that listeners loved them so much and bought records and concert tickets which afforded them the ability to stop being hungry, restless, motivated, committed, and eager to change the world.

“Come on people now, smile on your brother. Everybody get together; try to love one another right now” and “There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly clear. There’s a man with a gun over there telling me I’ve got to beware. I think its time we stop, children, what’s that sound. Everybody look what’s going down”. Music could change the course of society’s evolution – or so they/we thought.

As young listeners, we were moved emotionally by certain songs, bands, players – and eagerly took sides, defiantly defended OUR bands. We argued who was better – the Beatles or the Dave Clarke 5 (yes, that preceded arguments that continue to this day between the Beatles or the Stones), or even who was better within a band – John or Paul, or Stephan or Neil. Songs weren’t just favorite melodies; they MEANT something to us – as they obviously meant something to the songwriter/performer. I always gravitated towards the “singer/songwriter” types, as their lyrics and the performance of them seemed so personal and committed. Sonny and Cher sang songs that were written by someone else who wrote songs all day that could be sung by anyone else. Neil Young wrote songs that nobody but Neil could do properly. Sonny and Cher could never had sung “The Needle and the Damage Done” while Neil could never had sung “I’ve Got You Babe”. I (and most every young musician wannabe) felt a certain allegiance to certain performers, and learned to play and sing their songs with as close to the same intensity as I could master. The music was personally important, it meant something, it became a part of our beings, and it helped to drive us and even politically motivate us. Bands or songs could motivate us to take a stand and protest against war, injustice, prejudice, government wrong-doing. Of course I am now well aware that many of my icons became drug and people abusing, money hungry egomaniacs, but their self-destructive outcome didn’t change the honesty of their previously expressed idealist views and artistic talent.

Maybe I’m old and blind and out of touch, but I don’t see that these days. Certainly my own kids have favorite bands and songs, but I don’t think it’s with the same sense of commitment. I’m sure Mary or Corey have “their songs” and have learned to play them on their guitars and years down the road will make them smile when they come on the Oldies station, but I’m not sure they have songs that will make them cry (now or 30 years from now) or that make them want to become better people or join a cause. I do. And I’m not saying I’m better or they are lesser – of course they are good people and will do good things. I just don’t think that the “power of music” contributes as much to their developing psych-ee as it did to me and my contemporaries.

These days, people scoff at the summer/oldies/reunion concert tours that these aging throwbacks perform. Certainly these 60-something rockers & bands are a far cry from what they once were. Lack of health, voice, energy, and current relevance is obvious. They are no longer a “force to be reckoned with” as they originally were. I agree that their efforts to record and sell new material generally fall far short of their own previously set standards. By all logical reason, they should have hung it up long ago – so why do they still survive? Because even though they are no longer the idealistic rabble-rousers they once were, they still remember the feelings they had when they wrote those anthems so long ago. Maybe CSNY or Joni Mitchell are not relevant to today’s music industry, but they are still relevant to us who first learned about the world through their songs. WE still remember the power and the emotion evoked by the songs, and long for that feeling that once drove us (or celebrate that it still does). I wonder if Corey will go to a Counting Crows or Green Day concert when he is in his 50’s? (Not that at 18 I could conceive of going to a CSNY concert at 50!)



The book ends with a short, recent interview with Ned Doheny – a lesser known member of the old Laurel Canyon 60’s-70’s Singer/songwriter clique – talking about how those artist’s collective rise to superstardom ruined themselves, and their effect on the world in general.
[In selling their souls for fame and riches, the stars of the 60’s and 70’s helped create a world where passive consumerism replaced emotional engagement and political commitment. The apathy of twentysomethings over the environment and Iraq is shocking when one harks back to the civil rights and Vietnam War protests of the 60’s. Nobody is writing songs about what George Bush is doing. And you get to thinking ‘maybe the power of music is over’. He pauses and proffers a sad smile. “Maybe I should go downstairs and not worry about it,” he says. “But I keep saying to my son ‘Don’t you guys get it?’” {taken from the book Hotel California by Barney Hoshyns}] These last lines haunted me.

I wonder what art form will inspire our children to desire to make their world a better place? I don’t think it’s music – at least not now. Maybe their world is so comfortable that they feel no need to improve it, they have no hunger. Or they simply don’t know what they hunger for, and have no spokes-person to point it out in a way that moves them. One of their own music icons even points out the apparent apathy in one of his own songs, singing

[Now we see everything that's going wrong With the world and those who lead it We just feel like we don't have the means To rise above and beat it So we keep waiting Waiting on the world to change We keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change
{John Mayer}]

If this performer wrote this lyric in the late 60’s / early 70’s, Neil Young and Lynyrd Skynrd would have ganged up and retaliated and mobilized their fans so much that it would have been the last song this guy ever sung. Ah but that was the good old days – not that they were so good, they weren’t – which is why people united together, rose up and did something about it. The difference in my generation was that, instead of Presidents and Generals and Adventurers, our heart and soul leaders were our poets and singers. I don’t know who my own children’s heart and soul leaders are (Bart Simpson, Steven Colbert?). It’s not me – I’m who they are supposed to be rebelling against. On one hand I’m glad they are not, but on the other I’m not sure that’s good. Our country was built on rebellion and desire for social improvement. If we are so well off and our children so complacent that they no longer care to rebel and improve their world, then we might be in big trouble.