I Am Wonderful, God Loves Me

Although Father Mark was truly beloved throughout his 18 year stint as St. Joe’s pastor, his catch-phrase that he taught everybody to proclaim in response to his question “How are you?” produced mixed emotions. Some thought it was endearing, other cringed – but no matter what you thought of it, you thought of it – it was widely famous. Bishop Hennessey tells a story of warning priests who had not previously met Fr. Mark to NOT ask him “how are you”. Now Father Mark has left our midst, and similar to Jesus, left it for his followers to spread his version of His message.

It all started back in December. The Teen Mass Band had been given a formal name (Psalm 151), we were getting good attendance (both in the choir section and in the pews) and a number of the girls were getting very competent at finding harmonies. Many of our songs were sounding very strong and tight. With the unexpected passing of Father Mark and the state of uncertainty surrounding consolidations and temporary administrators and such, there was a lot of tension and worry floating around. I had it in my mind that we should come up with a song as a tribute to Fr. Mark and his signature phrase “I am wonderful, God loves me”as a tribute, and to offer a sense of closure which still felt like was missing for so many people. So, I scratched out some lyrics and over the course of about a week had refined them some. I had to keep reverting back to asking “what was the message behind the phrase?” that can be carried on by those who hear it.  As a band, we were all caught up in preparing Christmas songs for our now annual Christmas Eve Mass, which is a big deal for the band with cramped playing conditions, standing room only crowds, and of course plain old Christmas excitement. I decided that as a special gift to my three most talented and dedicated girls, that as a special secret project I would give them the lyrics and challenge them to come up with the music and arrangement. I did not want the song to be stuck sounding like the “same old” as after 40 years of attempting to write songs, there is a tendency to be predictable and stale. So by having young collaborators with their own style and taste and talent, I could expect something uniquely fresh. From the moment I conceived of this plan, I had full faith that they could successfully pull it off, and of course I could always interject if I deemed it necessary. When Christmas Eve Mass was finished, and people had greeted and congratulated the kids and myself on a job well done, I called the chosen three girls aside. Naturally, they initially were nervously giggly as if they feared they were in trouble for something. When I informed them of my plan and handed them the lyrics, they were giddy. Over the next couple of weeks, they had individually conceived some ideas of what the music should sound like. When one evening Maddie played an interpretation for us the everybody was impressed and pleased. Not long thereafter, the three – Maddie, Casey and Ansley – held a sleep-over together to really focus and put the song together. Since then, for numerous reasons and individual schedule conflicts, we rarely had them all together at one time with spare time to really break it down. None-the-less, from what I had heard, I took a chance and contacted an old friend who is part owner in a professional recording studio and asked what it would take to get them in and attempt to record. Apparently what it took was simply for me to ask (ask, and you shall receive). So with a date set, I needed to push harder to get this song more firmly constructed. I recorded Maddie playing her version of it, I incorporated some of the lyrical changes she had, added the chord changes she used, and we tried again. With some back and forth, I tweaked some of the lyrical changes they had made, revised the final chorus and ironed out a couple of transitions. In practice, by happenstance without any of the three in attendance, I went through the song with those who were present and it came out respectably well. As it was now approaching March, I was getting antsy to perform the song for real, under pressure of a listening audience, knowing that we want this thing firmly formed before we walk into a recording studio. Lent was fast approaching, with an Ash Wednesday performance on our calendar along with Confirmation Masses, and I felt that these would be excellent opportunities to put this song out there to be heard. But Ash Wednesday would be a much wider sampling of parishioners – not just the typical Sunday Night Youth Mass crowd. I had the Ash Wednesday music coordinator insert our song as a prelude before Mass starts. Still, I wanted our regulars to be the first to hear it, so I included as the Sunday night meditation song – the most prominent time during Mass when people are just quiet with no distractions. When we arrived ahead of time for our usual practice/warmup we went through the latest version that I had compiled – which was the first time Maddie, Casey and Ansley had encountered it this format. They naturally managed to fall back into doing the older version that they originally came up with, and struggled with some of the revised phrasing and chord / melody transitions. Some give and take smoothed it out some. Then with about 15 minutes left before Mass, Maddie got cold feet and suggested we wait until another day to debut it. I knew in my heart that they could pull it off well enough, and that we needed to do it now so that Ash Wednesday wouldn’t be our first attempt. So I simply announced that it was too late to back down. It was in the lyric handouts, we were doing it, and they had time to practice it one more time.

I have kidded for a while that it is no impressive thing to bring Mrs. Keane and Mrs. Lee to tears with a song, and that our goal was to get an entire parish reaching for the Kleenex. Communion ended, the band reassembled and at the ready. Nervous deep breathes were taken, and – unlike any other song we do – the drummers did not drum, I did not sing. With only Casey’s piano and Casey, Maddie, Ansley and Shannon’s voices, a large majority of the audience was brought to tears. Fr. Hobson stood and turned to the band and expressed how impressed he was and what a wonderful song it was, and read off the names of the girls who were credited with composing it. I know the band is not supposed to get an ovation during Mass, and our audience had complied to this point, but with Fr. Hobson leading them on, a standing ovation quickly evolved. Many cried, especially proud band parents. Many went out of their way after Mass to commend or thank the girls. 20 minutes after Mass, Mrs. Keane was still having trouble composing herself.


Encore on Ash Wednesday – let’s see how well we can repeat our success.

 Let me know if you wish to pre-order the CD.

Story told to me by a grateful parent.

“Y.L.” was typical teen who always complained and balked over church attendance. One evening, to fulfill a CCD requirement, she reluctantly went to a different church within her parish cluster to hear a particular speaker give a talk, and attended the Youth Mass being held prior to that speaker’s presentation. A band of teenaged musicians, similar to herself, were performing the music for the Mass. That night she went home and told her mother “God spoke to me tonight, and I want to go sing at that church”. That next weekend she came and joined the teen band. She finished her confirmation at her new church. She, along with a number of the band members, is enthusiastically helping with the new Extreme Edge program for middle schoolers. She is, in less than a year’s time, one of the strongest performers in a group of many strong performers, while remaining honestly humble about her own talents and inspired by the others talents. On practice nights, she arrives late, apologizing, as she rushes in straight from her part-time job. She coerced her parents to hurry home from an out-of-state wedding because she “had to get to Mass”. She has taken over role of primary piano player which includes the responsibility of being the sole accompanist during the Mass Parts music – a role that scares many musicians. She enters the room with enthusiasm even when her day hasn’t gone so well. She cheerfully befriends new members who join the band and welcomes them wholeheartedly, as was done to her when she joined.

Not a single person can claim credit for her transformation and dedication, but the entire band individually and collectively, by being true ministers indeed did contribute to her finding her calling. I warned them when we first started this project, and repeatedly remind them of the fact that every one of them was now a true minister, like it or not, believe it or not, and that they might never know the effect that they have on other people – but it is a beautiful thing to discover specific cases were you do know for certain.

And it can have a domino effect. A year after “Y.L.” joining the band, her mother is so thoroughly pleased, impressed and inspired by her daughters compelling witness, she is completing  RICA classes herself to be confirmed this year, wanting to fill a need that she had suppressed for all these years.

16 year old ministers inspiring their peers; children showing their parents the way to deeper faith; amateur musicians unifying, leading, and inspiring an entire parish – just more examples of God working in unorthodox and magnificent ways.

Is this really what we are driven into?

Rules of the house: requirements for all people residing in this household

Neglecting to follow these rules will result in a range of temporary punishments from loss of electronics privileges, to loss of driving privileges, to assigned chores, to restricted visiting privileges (grounded), or any other appropriate remedy.

Refusal to obey these basic rules by any member over the age of 18 years old will mean that you are choosing to be no longer a part of this home, and therefore you shall need to find a new place to live.

You shall have no other gods before me.
Cell phones, computers, Ipods, video games are privileges, not rights, and therefore should not be treated as if they are more important than, homework, chores, human interaction, physical activity - and can be taken away or restricted as necessary.
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
All people living in this house are expected to attend church on a weekly basis whenever there is no compelling reason preventing you from doing so.
Honor your father and your mother.
No under-age drinking, and for those 21 & over, only in moderation.
No smoking anywhere on the premises.
No illegal drug usage or possession.
Do not drive away in anger.
Speak respectfully, even when angry.
To assist us in coordinating everybody’s busy schedules, your work and activity schedule must be written down and available for us to consult.
You shall not murder.
Nor shall you EVER attempt or threaten to cause physical harm to yourself, your family members, or anyone else.
Violently emotional outbursts will not be tolerated without an active commitment to ongoing professional therapy
You shall not commit adultery.
nor shall unmarried children, nor friends, participate in any sexual acts within the home.
You shall not steal.
Not money, not possessions.
Not within the house, other peoples homes, or stores.
Not from family members, acquaintances, or strangers.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor (nor against family members). Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
Be honest, and accept the consequences of your actions.
Do not try to get other family members in trouble.
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house (nor your siblings belongings or situations).
Do not be angry because of what somebody else has.
The grass is not really greener on the other side. Act like you understand this concept.
All children are expected to share in the cleanliness of the home. 15 minutes of cleaning is the minimum requirement on a daily basis.

I __________________________ understand that these are the rules I must follow while I live in my parents home. Whether I agree with the rules or not does not effect the requirement of obeying them.

rant about Reposting Facebook Status

here's the thing... reposting somebody else’s post is not a valid way to judge a person’s selflessness, honor, goodness, etc... lets say your cause is cancer - my grandmother died of breast cancer, my father of lung & brain cancer, my father-in-law prostate cancer, my brother is a survivor of stomach cancer and I do my own methods of honoring them. Let's say your cause is Veterans or current Service men & women - I can trace direct ancestors to the Revolutionary War, Civil War, WWI & WWII, have founding members of GAR and the first Commander of the Whitman American Legion, plus have currently and recently numerous cousins, in-laws, nieces & nephews who will/are/have be/being/been protectors of our American way of life. Again, I show my respect in my own private and public ways. Who died and left some Facebook Poster as Judge and Jury to accuse me of being disrespectful, uncaring, "Too Cool" or "Selfish"? I suspect that people who insist that you have to repost THEIR post are indeed being the selfish ones, feeling superior and all-knowing, that they and their ideas are better than anyone else’s. They are actually being a bully by attempting to make you feel shame if you don't do what they tell you to do, how they insist you do it. Stop and think for a moment - Reposting could be judged as an act of laziness and lack of sincerity on the re-poster's part, like saying "ya, I suppose it's a good cause but I don't really have time to give it any thought so I'll just steal something that some random person came up with, and then my friends will think I'm all caring and stuff". I suggest that if you feel it important to publicly display your commitment to a cause, invent your own post with your own personal feelings and words and NEVER NEVER tell anybody that they must repost it or be judged as uncaring, disrespectful or worse. If any of my Facebook Friends are offended that I do not repost their posts, PLEASE remove me from your "friend list". If that is how you evaluate the quality of your "friends", then I accept that I clearly overestimated the quality of our relationship. If you leave me ON your friend list, PLEASE do not insist that I am a lesser person for not reposting.

(PS: this one I find exceptionally offensively judgmental, not to mention that "Jay" doesn't even tell us why it's important to him or what actual useful sacrifices he's doing about it AND "Jay" apparently didn't even give it enough thought to use proper spelling... it's "you're" as in "you are" too cool, and "you are" selfish -- not "your". But I should not judge him either - maybe he is spending so much time volunteering at Childrens Hospital or organizing fund raisers to take a moment to use spell check or recall an elementary school English lesson)

A unique birthday challenge

It has been a time of transition around here lately. One child is married and recently became a home-owner; one, tho still at home, has become more independent; two are away at college most of the time; two are working hard at being stereotypical sullen teens; one is debating following his closest role models or forging his own unique path. No more kids are in the foreseeable future, and neither is employment for me, so having a bread-winning Mom and a stay-at-home Dad appear to be the designated roles around here for a while. After more than a year of my unemployment, the kids haven’t fully embraced my omnipresence and in all honesty, neither have I. “Mom” is still the go to guy and I am the unavoidable lecturer who goes on and on about right and wrong. As they didn’t respond well to my Christmastime speech regarding them all having disposable income and the social correctness over actually getting their parents some sort of gift for Christmas, I decided a different approach might be more useful regarding my birthday. We often employ a technique we refer to as the “3 Things” response. When we are driving home from a [vacation/event/visit] everybody is asked to declare 3 things they enjoyed. This forces them to say out loud something positive about the experience, reminding them that it wasn’t as horrible as they might otherwise lead you to believe. It occurred to me that this approach might be useful as an alternative to a birthday gift – more like a challenge, to me as well as them. This is the note I gave to each of my children two weeks before my birthday.

Dad’s birthday request:

I have decided that for my 56th birthday, none of my children need to suffer through the decision over what to get me for a gift. Although I will gladly accept any thoughtful gift you might offer me, my true wish is simply for a special and personal birthday card.

In an effort towards self-improvement and a better relationship with my children, I ask for a special “Super Edition” of the “Three Things” routine you all know and love so well. I am asking each of my children to give me an individual birthday card – homemade or store-bought – either is fine. On the inside I want you to write a total of 9 lines;

• Three activities I wish my father would do/share with me.
• Three things I wish my father would do more of, or less of.
• Three things about me I wish my father would brag about to others.

The only rules I apply to this are;

• Each line must be honest and sincere.
• These cards are to be delivered to me by Saturday February 26^th.

This way, as of my actual birthday I will be prepared to start acting on your recommendations

Love, Dad

Although I think I am aware of what my kids like to do, many times they appear reluctant to do them at my suggestion, so maybe I am mistaken and using out-dated knowledge. Clearly there are personal habits or traits that annoy my children, and maybe there are things I used to do that they enjoyed that I have gotten out of the habit of doing. And many times they express their distaste of being talked about to other people – but of course, we are parents, and therefore are always looking to brag about our kids, or look for sympathy from other grownups who might have survived similar experience. I was very intrigued to see what about themselves they had sufficient pride over and would give me permission to discuss with others. I of course thought that this was an ingenious concept, and worried that some of them might stubbornly refuse to cooperate with the idea. Needless to say, I spent two weeks pondering and predicting who might say what, who would surprise me, who would disappoint me, and how would I respond to the challenge of then following through addressing and acting upon the suggestions put forth to me.

Well, the 26^th came, and 6 out of 7 had their birthday cards all prepared (1 declared he didn’t know it was due on that day, but he did voluntarily hand it to me before going to bed on the 27th). One rented a zip-car to surprise me on Saturday to drop off the card (well, and to pick up some things – his surprise was when he discovered we wouldn’t be home from Maine until long after he had to return the vehicle), and the two normally sullen teens were actually waiting in prideful (or ego-driven) anticipation for me to look over their cards. Each one had their own different and individual style, ranging from artistic to analytically profound to minimalist to thoughtfully sweet. Responses ranged from general ideas to very specific; “I wish Dad would have a Beatles Bash on February 9^th” ( the anniversary of them appearing on the Ed Sullivan show) and “I wish dad would ask me less questions about school” and “I wish dad would stargaze with me” to ‘I wish my dad would’ “ help me learn new stuff” and “talk more” and “take time to do the things you love”.

One respondent had voiced a pre-emptive concern about not having any accomplishments worthy of bragging about, while others I suspect had trouble limiting themselves to only 3 items. There were two store-bought cards, three hand-crafted cards, one hand-scrawled list on white lines paper, and a one-page essay response, carefully formatted, punctuated and typed which concluded with “The last question was easy for me, although I was a bit surprised that it was included considering it’s a birthday card for dad, not me. Why should I talk glowingly about myself when everyone knows that’s not how I like to carry myself. Nevertheless, the question was asked so I must respond.” [I wish my dad would brag about] “ - my enjoyment of the outdoors in all its forms and wonderment, - my approach to 10,000 mile on my bike, expected by late summer/early fall if I ride at the same pace from the years 2007-2010, - my knowledge involving numbers, and all applications of such (i.e: Calculators, Calendars, Measurements, etc…”

I also did receive one actual gift – homemade fudge (someone had paid attention over the years!)

So let me proceed forth from here on the right foot by planning a hiking trip, a canoe/kayak trip, some campfire singalong nights, and by bragging to all who read this what a great job my children did at honoring my birthday wish by responding in the manner in which it was intended. Maybe I have taken them for granted and underestimated them in too many ways. Here’s to a better year and better relationships with my terrific kids – a challenge I fully intend to live up to.

Humble

"Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord, or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?"

(What If I Stumble by DC Talk)

How much humble is too much humble? At what point does Confidence and Take Charge Attitude become NOT humble enough?

I believe that I have a reasonably accurate assessment of my skills in most aspects of my life, but acting out my appropriate confidence (or lack of) in the correct doses baffles me. I am not a very good braggart – which is not to say I don’t brag. There are many times I want to project that I have full confidence in my abilities, but I often have no confidence in understanding what volume or intensity is productive or counterproductive.

I can make up my resume to reflect my skills as a cabinetmaker, or a customer service rep, or a QC technician, or a shop supervisor, or a documentation compliance manager, or a Youth/Music Minister. But I struggle creating a cover letter that highlights my abilities without sounding like (to me anyway) egotistical clichéd boasting. Father Tom Dunne once related a story about a young priest who might be in line for a promotion. He was told he needed to write a summary of all the great work that he had done. The young man was unable to do so because, although he was proud of his achievements and believed he was worthy of the promotion, he also believed that he should not be the one tooting his own horn – that his superiors should already know his accomplishments and worthiness. If he had to boast, he must not have done well enough to be noticed by them and therefore didn’t deserve it. Granted, this story is more appropriate to an “in-house” promotion situation, but the dilemma is similar.

Likewise, with my music, I think I am pretty honest with my self-evaluation of my abilities. I pride myself in playing what I play quite well – well enough to earn some extra money at it, and given more devotion could do better (but probably not significantly better – I’m pretty much near the top of my potential). Of course, what I don’t play so well, I try to avoid. I sing on key and reasonably strong, and can generally jump onto any un-filled harmony line as needed. I am not a natural born leader, although when put in that position I can draw on my belief in my skills and, having a vision of what the project requires, can do an adequate job. No matter how well it turns out, I am humble in the knowledge that it did so more on the abilities and cooperation of others, through fate, or Holy Spirit – certainly due to things beyond my control.

I have not been leading Youth Masses (except the annual Confirmation Mass) so I am a little out of shape. I miss it. I enjoyed the steady opportunity to work on improving my skills and attempts to deliver a memorable event. See, if I was truly humble, I would have my first thoughts be of offering my time and God-given talents for the good of the church. Instead, it’s the individual personal benefits I perceive, with an eye towards being favorably noticed by my community.

Last week, I received a call from a longtime Youth Minister friend, who needed a favor. His regular music people from his parish were for some reason not able to lead their Youth Mass music at a confirmation retreat being held on Cape Cod. Of course I was flattered that he would think of me for this occasion. I didn’t stop to consider whether he had already been turned down by dozens of others and I was simply the last on his list. My ego assured me that I was of course worthy of being honored by his request. I did harbor some concerns regarding how it would all go off. Not being familiar with his group/parish and therefore not knowing what songs would go over best, or if my lone guitar and voice would need amplification to be effective, and knowing that I couldn’t know what I might need to know but couldn’t, meant that I had some humbling doubts as to how well I could pull it off. I was informed in advance that another musician would be there to help me out. Well I found the retreat center with plenty of time to spare and started to practice to get a feel for the room. I soon learned that I would have a young bass player and some singers helping me out as well. Throughout the next hour, various teenagers were introduced to me as singers and the bass player, and even another young lady guitarist. Although the other officially listed musician had not yet arrived, I got my little but growing ensemble going through the song list – giving directions and advice, and figuring out who was capable of what. With one song still to go, Jon arrived and pulled out his guitar. With this final introduction out of the way, I explained to him where we were, what we were doing, and how I expected to proceed onward. I started to play – and Jon joined in behind me. As I said, I have a pretty good read on my abilities, and I instantly recognized that there was an absurd flip flop of abilities and of assigned responsibilities. I had no right leading THIS guy. This was like John baptizing Jesus. But similarly as Jesus, fully knowing his ability and place, casually and graciously submitted authority to a lesser qualified person, Jon happily added complimentary guitar parts and harmony lines and went along with everything I had prepared. Father Medairos (my own Pastor – the following day) spoke of humility. He quoted a bit from readers Digest where a great orchestra conductor when asked what was the most difficult instrument to play, claimed that “it was 2^nd fiddle. I can find plenty of 1^st violinists, but finding a 2^nd fiddle who will play with enthusiasm – that’s a problem. And if we have no 2^nd fiddles, we have no harmony”. Well, Jon showed no hesitation nor condescension at playing 2^nd fiddle to me. Nor were we short on harmonies. With a full-fledged chorus of able-voiced young men & women, we had harmony galore, counterpoint parts, and mid-stream dynamics and key changes on the fly. I discovered (thankfully not before hand – it might have un-nerved me) Jon is a musical evangelist with his own conceived and developed full blown stage show that he performs most every week, locally as well as around the country. His credentials are clearly not those of a second fiddle, at least not when compared to my own, but I never would have known this by his demeanor. It took an explanation from another friend to clue me in as to who/what he was. He never once tooted his own horn (although he played his guitar exquisitely). In the end, it was a very humbling experience, as once again, a terrific event occurred for which I was given gracious credit for, which in the end I had precious little control over. I was simply willingly in the right place at the right time with an assigned task which I hope I humbly performed well, as did the dozen or so others who stood beside & behind me all humbly performing their assigned tasks. It was just left to the Holy Spirit to make something special out of us all, and the results make it implausible to NOT believe in the power of the Holy Spirit.

"Do they see the fear in my eyes? Are they so revealing? This time I cannot disguise all the doubt I'm feeling. What if i stumble, what if i fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?"

Judy Blue Eyes - Sweet!

I haven't had much motivation to play my guitar lately - no band work lately, no church Youth Mass any more, noboby here who plays or wants to learn, no jam partners nearby. But for some unknown reason, the pther day I decided to Google "the correct tuning for Suite: Judy Blue Eyes. I have for decades played a reasonable self-taught version of this song with a simple double-dropped-D tuning. I knew it wasn't totally right, but it certainly sounded fine and impressive enough. My search brought me to YouTube of course, where a guy demonstrates the "Correct" way to play the song. I actually knew the "actual" tuning, which he did have correct - low E, low E, mid E, mid E, B, E - and some of the chords and fingerings he had spot on, but then some of it simply was not right. This led me to find YouTube's of Stephen Stills playing the song live. There are actually many versions - with CSN, CSNY, him by himself - and like all artists, every version had some differences. All in all though, I got a pretty good grip on it and decided that Coreys acoustic guitar that was not at college with him would be the perfect choice to permenently tune as the "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" guitar, and I got to work. Amazing how much more authentic it sounds with the proper tuning. Amazing how certain parts within the song still didn't sound quite accurate, but with enough experimentation and YouTube review (they seldom get good close-ups of his left hand position at the critical moments), by George I think I've got it! Now I simply play it because it feels so rewarding to have finally nailed it after so many years of cheating. SO - if anybody is having some gathering or event and you feel that you simply HAVE to have somebody perform a great version of this song for you, let me know because along with my regular instrument for all my other tunes I can entertain you with, I have a guitar dedicated strictly for that song (oh, and "4 & 20" - same artist, same tuning - which I also used to cheat on with double-dropped-D) and I know you will be incredibly impressed!

Pre-Christmas 2010

Christmas is almost here, and somewhat different in many ways from past years, tho' with many typical joys as well. The tree went up a week earlier than usual, and this is the first year that Santa has had the presence to put the presents under the tree early. Although you might expect an emotional letdown that older kids often get regarding "Christmas present anticipation", seeing them sitting there wrapped but on full display, with new additions appearing unpredictably, has led my often surly teenaged crew to gleefully shake and fondle and count and speculate almost daily. Nikki refuses to believe that the large wrapped box with her name on it is actually a package of underwear cleverly disguised as a ruse to trick her. Joe, having money burning a hole in his pocket and disturbed that the dogs always get something, decided to purchase at cat toy/nap-place pirate ship - couldn't wait until Christmas, so he set it up immediately. We still enjoy the annual family combo Christmas & Mom's/Aunt Edie's birthday party at Camp Kiwanee. This year Aunt Edie did not come up from Florida to attend, but two of her five children participated anyway. Unexpectedly, Moms cousin Howard and his daughter Terry and son Jim came in from Maine to see long lost relatives. We downsized our tree in an effort to not obstruct the view of the television for a month, but thanks to a belated but still in the St. Nick of time extending of unemployment benefits, we didn't have to downsize the gift lists too badly. We have gotten better in recent years to shop more specifically and orderly instead of randomly and emotionally, but still some kids are just so easy and fun to shop for while others are difficult and offer little insight. The job search is still unsuccessfully continuing, although I did receive a very enthusiastic apologetic rejection from a recent application and found a new opening to apply for that I totally qualify for and have the experience for, so maybe the new year will be more prosperous. We get to have all of our still-at-home kids at home for Christmas morning, and get to share Mary & Matts first Christmas as home-owners, conducting the childrens exchanging of gifts tradition at their beautiful house in Hanson.

1 year anniversary

As of today I have been unemployed for one full year. It was fun for a while but it's become a bit unsettling now.

Sox 2010 recap

Things I've decided about the Red Sox this year:

I would have rather pitched Tim Wakefield every 5th day over Lackey or Dice-K - he might not have done any better, but I would have been much happier accepting the results.

Theo should convince Dice-K to accept a trade to the National League (San Fran or LA would be good locations for him)

I would have traded Bucholtz last year and I would have been wrong (even after last nights debacle).

If Mike Bowden isn't going to be in the rotation or the bullpen next year, trade him while you still can.

I would rather have Jed Lowery next year instead of Bill Hall.

Theo evaluated both Mike Lowell and Adrian Beltre correctly.

They should overpay for Beltre (and V-Mart) next year, and Lowell should retire.

Big Papi is a crap shoot for next year. Try to get an Adam Dunn type left fielder so you can afford the risk of keeping OR letting Papi go. If you let him go, DH by committee, rotating people who can hit AND play a position.

If they had kept Ellsbury in center where he belongs, he wouldn't have broken his ribs. Practice Mike Cameron in left & right and he should be a solid 4th OF next year.

Scutaro was OK but I hope the Cuban minor league SS gets here soon (and has learned to hit).

By 2012, I want to see Ryan Kalish, Jose Inglesias, Junichi Tazawa , & Kelly Casey in the regular lineup. If they can't make it by then, they should be trade bait for someone who can.

Keep Tito - he is the best manager we have ever had or could hope to get in this day and age.

Bunny Condo

Ohio girls at Camp Kiwanee

St Lucia revisited - Day 1

As Sue naps from all of todays activities & before supper, I shall try to remember how, what & when so far. I suppose it starts well before our departure. When I got layed off, I had to determine what to do with my 401K. It was not enough to be more than a spit in the bucket for actual retirement, and because I was sort of involuntarily retired, and might not ever get another chance to do this magnitude of a trip again, we decided to put aside a couple months worth of mortgage money and splurge the rest on returning to wonderful St Lucia/Sandals. On one hand, being unemployed, it felt like a huge and ill-advised finacial risk. On the other hand, many couple close to us were suffering through divorces, illnesses and deaths - and to whom ever we mentioned our trip to, everybody stated "of course you should go!" To you all, I say "thanks for enabling us!"
Wednesday we arrived at Logan Airport at 3:30AM for a 5:30AM 3+ hour flight to Miami. After a 1-1/2 hour intermission there, we were on a 3+ hour flight to St Lucia. 40 minutes past San Juan, we were informed that we would about=face and land in Puerto Rico to take on more fuel and wait for the inclement weather in St Lucia to clear up a bit. Instead of landing at 1:15PM, we finally arrived at 3:30PM - "no worries, no problems". Having decided to take a 15 minute helicopter to Castries (St Lucia capital and 15 minutes to our Sandals) instead of the 1-1/2 to 2 hour taxi ride, we managed to arrive well ahead of the other plane passengers headed to the same destination. Weather was off=and=on raining, but still lovely. We settled into our room - upgraded from the one we booked as we were returning customers. Sandals was celebrating "Reunion Week" and having a special dinner for returning guests. We ate a gourmet cooked & presented meal, sharing a table with two couples from Canada (why would anybody want to own one?), a couple from Texas, and one of the Hotel Managers. We won prizes & T-shirts and had a blast exchanging stories with our new-found friends. Although the room we had been upped into was larger and did hav a balcony, we quickly determined that we truly preferred the room we had on our last visit and after thanking them for their generosity, asked if they could please "downgrade" us back to the room we originally booked. They insisted of course it would be "no problem, no pressure" and could handle it in the morning. Having just spent the last 3hours entertaining the hotel manager, Sue regailing him with stories, we felt confident that we would indeed be satisfied. We finished up early (10:00PM) and crashed on our room.

disjointed and unconnected - maybe?

As I cleaned out the Taurus so Sue could drive to Worchester on Sunday, I noticed the inspections sticker was two months overdue - so Monday I brought it in to be taken care of. Then we spent time out to lunch reminiscing about past grand adventures and plotting & planning when we might be able to repeat. Then I went to Camp Bournedale for the 7th grade special overnight program, where I reminisced about YOW retreats and fun - while trying to keep eight 12 year olds under some semblance of control. Boy the school and the church have different approaches and protocols to supervision and security issues. I got to chat with numerous teachers about past and present students, and about how everybody loved them all and had a story to tell, and ditto regarding their favorite Sub-Teacher Susan. Now I'm back home on Tuesday submitting resumes and blogging for the first time since I was layed off. Funny how I had time for this while I was working, but now that I'm not, I can't seem to fit it in!

Great bargains and expensive fried dough

Event: East Middleboro annual 4-H Fair.
Here, every year for the past 60 years, you can come and see/touch the 4-H animals, admire the kids arts & crafts, and find amazing bargains in the used book tent, the “Country Store” (used junk) tent, and the Friday & Saturday Night Auction (more & bigger used junk). All year long, local folks donate/drop off unsold yard sale items, or relics found while cleaning Nana’s attic or stuff from Uncle Mel’s shed that he hasn’t used in many years, etc…. You can browse through all of this potential treasure while munching on freshly cooked food from the fry stand or the grill stand or the country kitchen – also all at below typical market prices.

The book tent is full of used romance novels, and history books and biographies, out-dated atlases and travel guides, old vinyl records (33’s, 45’s ) by Jim Nabors or Ed Ames and lots of Christmas Albums - all very dusty and occasionally moldy. Last year I found three Civil War topic books, but nothing this year.

The Country Store tent is full of roller blades, coffee mugs, obsolete electronics, bags of all sorts (hand, duffle, back, tote..), Christmas decorations, and every item from that junk drawer we all have in the kitchen or tool-shed. There is so much of this hodge-podge that it actually encompasses TWO tents. On Friday & Saturday, most everything goes for a buck apiece. On Sunday, you can fill a shopping bag for a dollar. This year, for one dollar, I got Joe ice hockey skates, a 20ft rope-light, 2 spring-loaded door stoppers, a rabbit cage water dish, a set of steak knives, a sharpening rod, teaspoons, and a can of Bondo.

My favorite part of the whole proceedings is the Auction – from scouring the auction tent to find potential treasures to bid on, getting my “number card” from Stacy The Assistant Auctioneer, to watching the Mazzilli brothers bid against each other to buy the couch they will both sit on for the night (and then re-buy it again the next night – they have never taken “the couch” home in the end) or spend $300 on a stuffed animal that they will then give away to some small child sitting nearby. If one of my kids identify a “MUST-HAVE-IT” item to attempt to win, I will tell them a maximum price, give them the magic “Number Card”, and let them wave it at the auctioneer in hopes that some grownup will notice who they are bidding against and have the decency to not out-bid this poor little desperate kid. When it’s time to get up and get my fried dough, I trustingly leave “the number card” with Sue with specific instructions “if XYZ comes up while I’m gone, bid up to $$ for it”. We have acquired desks, bureaus, lamps, chairs, a swing-set, a 14ft balance beam, a fiberglass rowboat, and other spectacular bargains too numerous to recall using my well-honed methods. Of course, while I will buy most anything I don’t need for a dollar or two, I have missed out on some good and useful items due to my skinflint reluctance to pay fair value. So this year, with Nikki following closely by my side (she was avoiding getting roped into waitressing under the kitchen tent), I searched for worthy items to bid on – but found slim pickings and nothing that excited me (no gymnastics equipment this year, and I didn't actually need the snowblower). Nikki pointed out two stools and a 5ft mirror that she just HAD to have. We took our seats and the auction began, rather uneventfully aside from the 2-sided bookcase for Sue and the pony (stuffed) I won for Julie because she ALWAYS asks me to buy her a pony when I go shopping, and I never had - until now. After an hour or so, I wandered off to get my fried dough – telling Nikki & Sue that if her mirror came up, she could bid up to $10 for it (I was in a generous mood and was confident that a. it wouldn’t come up, and b. that nobody else would want it very badly). As I stood 100 yards away at the fry stand waiting for my snack, I noticed that an enthusiastic bidding war was going on for two old rusty wood-handled bow saws. As I looked closer, I noticed that Nikki was frantically waving my card as the price climbed higher and higher, until her competition dropped out at $20 – leaving her (me) with the winning bid and the useless saws. With my $3 Fried Dough in hand (which is typically the most money I will spend on any single item all weekend), I returned to my seat – annoyed and confused - and asked why we had just spent so much money so foolishly. While Sue looked innocently confused at my indignation, Nikki boldly stated “You said you wanted saws”. I admit – I lost it! “WHAT? I NEVER SAID I WANTED SAWS!”. Sue noticing my turn to anger and the attention my outburst had drawn, adeptly threw Nikki under the bus, saying “but she told me so convincingly that you really wanted them that I believed her and figured that we should make sure we got them for you ‘cause you deserve it”. Realizing in disbelief that I now owned these saws for what I could have purchased a whole off-campus-apartment-full of fine furniture for, I sat down in my chair and concluded that “this is the most expensive piece of Fried Dough I’ve ever bought”.

Nikki still hasn’t fully accepted my apology for my outburst at her. It really was nice of her to try so excitedly to get something that she sincerely thought I really wanted. I did get her the mirror - for $1.

She's leaving home, bye bye

When Mary left for college it felt strange, as she was the first child to be “not home”. But honestly, she had been so busy and self-contained during her high school senior year I saw precious little of her so I barely noticed that she wasn’t around once she wasn’t. Although I loved her dearly, her leaving didn’t cause a big change in my daily life. Because Yon moved in with us almost immediately after she left, we didn’t even get the benefit of having a bit more room in her absence.

When Tim left for college, well, he didn’t actually leave as he commuted to BSC. During his high school senior year we actively tried to prepare him for the options that layed ahead. We had really hoped he would go and experience that level of independence and quasi-real-world exposure that campus living gives a young adult, but he simply wasn’t up to that challenge. I loved him dearly, but his college experience didn’t cause a big change in my daily life. He remains at home still holed up in his little re-habbed corner of the cellar , probably for as long as he can get away with it.

When Corey left for college it was a cause for great relief (sorry Corkman!), as we had worried about his financial aid, if somehow going to college would fall through, his girlfriend situation, etc… During his high school senior year we had endured many heated arguments and power struggles and sibling rivalries, and although I loved him dearly, his leaving for college actually made life a little easier for everybody. Thankfully we seem to have come along quite nicely and everybody’s relationships with him have improved dramatically. One side benefit was that we actually seemed to have a bit more room while he’s off at school.

Now Julie is getting ready to leave for college, and I am going to out-and-out miss her. During her senior year, we became closer. She would seek me out – to sing Beatles or CSN songs, to do something-anything, or just to get a kiss goodnight or a hug for no particular reason. I love her dearly and I expect to discover a noticeable void in my daily life while she’s away. The remaining kids are eager to swap and rearrange room assignments, where each of them will have separate rooms that they only have to share during semester breaks and long holidays.

Mary always had her mothers brains, drive, and self-assuredness, while inheriting my reserved nature, musical talents, athletic ability, and love of outdoors. Despite her obvious musical ability, she often seemed intimidated to sing & play with me, and much like me and my tendency to hope and wait for people to seek me out, we probably each spent too much time hoping the other one would step forward and initiate time together.

Tim always had his mothers impeccable memory and my obsessive love of statistics and obscure facts, and my deep & awkward shyness. His brain is otherworldly, although music never drew him in (aside from loving “The 12 Days Of Christmas” and all Christmas music in general). He would tag along with me to the various rinks where I refereed, and could tell me how long it had been since I had been there – what the scores were – and if the home teams really had an advantage. We could play game like – you say a year (from 1968 forward) and he would tell you the Superbowl score and who the MVP was. Insightful or philosophical conversation was a struggle for him, and much like me, small talk was a mystery – so talking sports or weather were the predominant interactions.

Corey always had his mothers unwavering confidence in being right (along with a teenagers natural belief in knowing everything), which coupled with my love of being actively involved in sports, made him an ideal umpire. He inherited Sue’s generous outgoing nature and my stubborn brain (sorry Corkman!) and willingness to debate a meaningless point or a meaningful one. Although not "naturally gifted" musically, he worked hard at being a musician and unashamedly would join in any sing-along/strum-along and has now done very well with numerous instruments. He frequently tries to draw me into playing street hockey, football or basketball or whatever he & his pals are up to, or simply discussing music, sports, religion, politics.

Julie is possibly the least like me. She is free spirited and unreserved, outgoing and self-confident. She purposely takes time every day to work on daydreaming. Her musical talent although good, isn’t as natural as Mary’s & mine, but she unabashedly loves to sing and has adopted my love of 60’s/Beatles/CSN era music. Her artistic ability is more natural and advanced than my own, but she loves to express it in 60’s/FlowerPower images. She is clearly an anachronism from the 1960's, which I can fully appreciate even though I was a few years too young to have been totally immersed in it when it originally was happening. Although she is not a “natural athlete”, she certainly found a niche that she could perform very well in and has complete pride in her accomplishments while understanding that it is a fun outlet, not a life-altering pursuit. She freely expresses love for me, brags openly about me, enthusiastically embraces my hobbies and interests and happily participates in them, willingly excuses my flaws and failings, and greets every new day with joy and hope. If anyone wished they could know what Sue was like at 18 years old, simply spend a day with Julie and you will get a very authentic re-enactment (minus the older boyfriend, but nobody could figure that out anyway!). I lucked out in 1980 when Sue didn’t “go away” to college, so I didn’t have to suffer though this experience before. I think I'm about to get a glimpse of how I would have felt back then. You bet I am going to miss Julie while she’s away.

“I think I’m going to be sad, I think it’s today, yeah”

26th Anniversary - the adventure continues

As wedding anniversaries are celebrations of an event where (if you had done things by the book ) you did exciting things that you had never done before, the anniversaries should also include that same spirit of new adventure. We knew we wanted to get some outdoor exercise type of activity, but not too strenuous - and see something scenic and fun. We didn't have much discretionary income to spend, so we would pack a picnic, snacks and drinks. We contemplated Boston or Plymouth windowshopping, but then thought about taking the ferry to P'town would be fun - untill we saw the price ($40 per person round trip + $10 each if we brought the bicycles). But with that concept in mind, we looked at Martha's Vineyard and were surprized at how much CHEAPER it would be ($15 per person + $6 per bike - round trip). Although I had gone to Martha's Vineyard over 40 years ago with my grandmother, and Sue had ( a couple years ago) visited a friend who lives there, we had never adventured there together. So Thursday August 27th, we loaded the pickup and headed to Falmouth. The shuttle bike-bus from Palmer Street is a trip all it's own, but after waiting with the way-too-talkative driver, and getting squeezed to well beyond safe or legal capacity, we did make it to the ferry in time. As bicyclists are last to load, we had trouble finding two forward-facing seats with a view, but after a few scouting trips around the decks, we settled in for a quiet ride. Once in Vinal Haven, we walked the bikes through the crowded streets of shops & shoppers. After finding air for our tires & a map of the island, we headed off in the direction of Edgartown. The main road has nice wide bike lanes so the ride is safe and relatively easy. Along the way we discovered an Alpaca Farm to pop into (but decided to NOT spend the $5 per to tour the grounds and see the animals up close (we can do that at any of the many fairs). We ate out picnic lunch in Edgartown and explored around a lighthouse that overlooks the harbor and Chappaquidick. Then followed Beach Road along 5 miles of sandy beach and warm calm water and lots of young families. Sue waded in, thought seriously about taking a swim - until she realized that Jaws was filmed somewhere off of this island (or maybe nantucket, but either way - too close). I had been standing knee deep with the famous bass music playing through my head at the exact moment she turned and said "wait a minute...." So off we headed to Oak Bluff - the "trendy" part of the island we had been told. We found an ice cream shop that had caramel (not so easy to find now-a-days) and sat and looked at the enormous boats ($$$$$$$$$$$$$). Keeping tabs on the time, knowing when we had to catch the next ferry out of VH, we cruised the final 3 miles back to our point of origin with half an hour to spare. Having pedaled about 16 miles, we were a bit tired, and our legs and buttockes were a bit sore, yet we were feeling refreshed at the ability to spend this time together uninterupted enjoying the glorious weather, beautiful sights, and inspiration for future adventures. Back on the mainland, we decided we still had enough left to allow us to pedal the 4 miles back to the truck - therefore avoiding the bike-bus debacle. In the end, we totaled about 20 miles - not bad for "non-strenuous exercise". As I paid the $12 parking fee, we knew for sure that NEXT TIME - we park free at the bike-trail lot & pedal to Woods Hole (cause lets face it - the lot there is ALWAYS full. We dined at a restaurant that we had never tried before (Bayley's Surf & Turf in Wareham), ending the "never-done-before" portion of our anniversary celebration.

Dinner with Julie

Julie has been working all summer babysitting for young neighbor boys, and actually saving most of her money (an uncommon trait in this family). As the time is drawing near for her to head off to her campus dorm room, time is running short for special father/daughter bonding time – something that she has expressed a wanting for (again, an uncommon trait – her mother being the other exception). She mentioned a while ago, quite proudly, that she wanted to treat me to dinner out before she left and while she could still afford to. So Monday night, while Sue & Joe were still in NH, and Tim & Yon were at work, and Jamie was at the Fair – leaving me, Julie & Nikki to decide dinner for just us – we happily decided that it would be an ideal time to eat out. Nikki wanted TGIF and Julie wanted Friendly’s. Figuring that Jules would be covering 2/3rds of the bill, I let her choice win – Friendly’s it was. Nikki, in her best “cut off my nose to spite my face” stubbornness decided if it wasn’t TGIF, she would stay home with a Fluffernutter. As I am always amused when they decide to “punish me” by being uncooperative, Julie & I left Nikki and somehow managed to have some guilt-free fun anyways. We talked about her impending departure from our everyday lives, and what to expect and how to best deal with some of the new situations she will likely encounter for the first time. We also worked on a plan for a “take-your-father-out-of-work” day adventure for next week, as the kids will be back at school and she’ll be briefly free. A canoe trip up the Green Harbor River sounds like a fun adventure – maybe after a stop at the RMV for a 2nd try for a learners permit (which is after all a stereotypical job of the father, right?). Wow – hard to believe we are all ready for this next step. How will I adjust to not having my daughter (who still proudly claims me as her own, still freely hugs me or kisses me goodnight, or gleefully shares songs/jokes/anecdotes with me) around to let me know that I’m not a total failure as a father? (‘cause ya know that enough of them are all to eager to point out all of my parenting “flaws”!!)

Sue and Heather running Carver Race 2009

PLC --Time --Pace --PLC/Group --PLC/Sex --Bib# --Name --Town, State

145 -- 45:23 --9:05 --16 30-39 --48 F --104 --Heather Weydt --Hanson,MA

180 -- 51:48 --10:22 --16 40-49 -67 F --10 --Susan Blauss --Carver,MA

A day late and a run short

You guessed it - we battled it out tooth & nail with "Haircuts by Lorie" in the championship game, but in the end - came up 1 run short. Excitement and tension were the rule for the day. We shut them out in the first inning and scored 3 ourselves. Then they went ahead by 2, then we went ahead by 2. Kayli pitched 3 strong innings & Nikki 2. Nikki caught 2 rocket line drives right back at her but just couldn't get the double play on the base runner. Christy, playing 3rd base for the 1st time this year caught a tough pop-up/fly ball behind her. Adrianna made a nice running shoetop catch in right field. We went into the home half of the last inning needing 2 runs to tie & 3 to win and our bottom 2 batters up - then the top of the order. Having pre-arranged it with the other teams coach who graciously agreed, Kayla - our girl who broke her finger two days before (catching a fly ball) would be allowed to pinch run for whichever girl got on base first. That was Sam - who had hit the best ball of the year (for her) and got a single. Kayla stole her way to 3rd base and scored on Kayli's line drive to center. Taryn crushed a drive to the out field - but Kayli had to hestitate making sure it fell in, and stopped at 3rd as the potential tieing run. Our two biggest hitters were coming up to face the fastest pitcher in the league. All we needed was one ground ball or one wild pitch to tie the game, and she had been throwing plenty of them. Instead, she bore down and struck out both Alex & Adrianna (we didn't even luck out with a dropped strike 3) and the best game of the season was over - a day late and a run short.