Thursday, April 24, 2008

End of an Era

The family daily schedule has been such that thinking I might have time to coach is a conclusion that no intelligent person would ever arrive at. Last year I knew it, but ended up being an assistant coach to Nikki's softball team anyway, and it was fairly disasterous (logistically and emotionally) and unfullfilling. This year we originally thought things might be different, but after filling in the calendar with Nikki's softball, Joe's baseball, Jamies 4-H, Yon's swimming and basketball, Tim's bingo setup, Sue's work schedules - what should have been obvious became undeniable. So no coaching this year for me and there is a major flaw with the "maybe next year" theory - although she can play town ball for two more years, Nikki is a very good pitcher so it can be presumed that next year (and each year afterward) she will be playing ball for the school instead of the town league. Joe has a few more years of Little League left, but the politics involved pretty much remove any opportunity for me to coach his team. There is nobody left to coach after them. So - although it's not absolutely 100% for certain, I am in all likelyhood in coaching retirement now. For 30 years and four sports and thousands of players, being a coach has been an important part of my identity and is largely responsible for who I am.

And now I'm not.

Friday, April 18, 2008

The more things change, the more they stay the same

25 years ago

Let’s see if my memory is even close to correct. April 1983 – I was 28 years old, engaged to be married, working in Imperia’s cabinet factory, planning a Patriots Day weekend get-away for me & Sue, preparing for another softball season, living at home after a year of living in Halifax with brother Wes and friend Deane S. and I wasn’t playing in a band at the moment. I did believe that love and marriage were a lifelong thing, and thankfully I had found someone who I could easily envision spending that much time with. I assumed we would have a few children, and we would go on lots of adventures, hiking/camping trips, play and coach sports teams, and have a happy idyllic life. I assumed that I would work until retirement age, and that Sue would finish college and go on to some interesting career – but neither of us would be in “all-consuming jobs” that leave little time for family and fun. I assumed that we would enjoy grandchildren, growing old together while continuing to adventurously explore the world, and eventually I (being 8 years older) would die first.

Now – 25 years later

Cardinal Sean O’Malley celebrated a special anniversary Mass for any couples in the Archdiocese who would celebrate 25 or 50 year anniversaries in the current calendar year of 2008. That’ll be us on August 27th.

http://www.thebostonpilot.com/article.asp?ID=6185 (we’re quoted)

http://thepilot.dotphoto.com/CPViewAlbum.asp?AID=5202456&IID=187065154&Page=1

http://thepilot.dotphoto.com/CPViewAlbum.asp?AID=5202456&IID=187065154&Page=1

Making it to 25 years I would have predicted, but it didn’t occur to me that I would be a Catholic. I’m working at Imperia (again – after moving to a few other companies along the way) in the office, planning a Patriots Day weekend get-away for me & Sue, preparing for another softball season (Nikki’s 6th-8th grade town league team), and not currently playing in a band (the recent audition didn’t pan out – yet). I live at home (mine/ours – not Mom’s). I still believe that love and marriage are life-long, and I love the prospects of sharing it all with Sue. I sometimes find it discouraging that time and money are too often too tight to allow the amount of adventuring and exploring I envisioned, but we still manage to squeeze in a bit now and then. Although I never would have planned on seven (and then some) children, and despite the fact that "they" can at times be all consuming (making "us" a nice theory on paper but often a difficult one to actually demonstrate in real life), they are all special and each one brings something to my life that makes it more special. Despite my occasional complaints about the sheer volume of kids, at the same time there is of course not one that I regret or love less. (don’t get me wrong – that doesn’t mean that any given moment on any given day I wouldn’t eagerly trade any one of them straight up for one of their polite friends) Of the many Foster Children who didn’t stay, there were many that I could simultaneously wish they individually did and be glad they collectively didn’t. I assume that I will have to work well beyond retirement age. Last year, Sue finished college (well, she got her 1st degree – although she probably isn’t actually “finished” yet) and with any luck will find a new interesting career – one that will afford us more family time and adventures. None of the kids are likely to be giving us grandchildren in the near future – if I had to venture a guess, no earlier than 3 years away. As our children grow older, Sue and I should be able to start finding more time to adventurously explore more of the world – let’s hope while I still have the strength of body and soundness of mind to do so. At present, I INSIST that I die first (although if I’m still alive once the kids are all independent adults, I might relax that demand).

Next 25 years

I’d be 78 years old (and STILL 8 years older than Sue) which would make me a rarity compared to my male ancestors from both sides of my gene pool. I pray that Sue will still be as giddily in love with me as she was 25 years ago and still is today (if I screw that up, I don’t deserve to live that long anyway). I pray that as more and more kids move on to independence that I more and more rededicate time and attention to Sue. I will probably NOT be in a band at that point (at that point, country-western would be my only viable option and she never really cared for that), but I hope I am still able to play the guitar. I hope we both will be healthy enough to do some mountain climbing between now and then – I really want her to see the view of Baxter Peak from Chimney Pond Cabin and then of Chimney Pond from the Knifes Edge on Mt Katahdin. At 78 I hope I can at least enjoy fall walks in the woods. At 78 I hope I can proudly stand before the Cardinal in some grand cathedral, with my 70 year old trophy wife of 50 years – the continuing love of my life, surrounded by loving children and grandchildren whom we have stayed close to (not TOO close) and been an inspiration to. I promise that I won’t give her a hard time about spending money on a new dress for the occasion, or about calling the Mass a ‘wedding’. If she is willing to hold my hand and publicly and unashamedly repeat those vows to me for a third time, I shall be the happiest and most fortunate old geezer in the world – just like in 1983 and 2008. And – the same as each of those occasions – I will pray that I have been and can continue to be deserving of her adoration.
(some things will never change)

Monday, April 14, 2008

:-( guess I'm too rusty

(email from Richard M)

Hey Don,

Wish I had some good news for you regarding the band position but unfortunately I don't.
We are still looking for someone that's a perfect fit, may take forever I guess.
I want you to know that we were really hoping that you'd be the one for us.
I guess we're looking for someone who could step in and be quickly up to speed with what we were doing.
The best to you and it was really a pleasure meeting and talking with you.
Hope to see you around.

Take care
Richard

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Julie is a fascinating child

Julie is applying for acceptance to a week-long summer art program in Colorado. Only current high school juniors are eligible, and tuition is free if she gets accepted. She has to submit a portfolio on CD, which will be judged by a panel looking for real artistic ability. Once all the submissions from across the country are paired down based on demonstrated talent, the panel will then start looking at the candidates personal qualities gleaned from Teacher recommendations and the students own background information. Julie had to submit as part of her background info, a brief essay regarding her "most memorable moment in life". This seems like a difficult task for anybody to tackle - determining which most memorable moment to discuss, and deciding how honest and thorough could one afford to be in describing it. Thankfully, she has never had any huge traumatic experiences or earth shaking coming-of-age drama's, but as I said - Julie IS fascinating. With two days to go before the "postmark by" deadline, she discussed her dilemma with us - she couldn't think of a good "moment" that would intrigue and impress a panel of "Art" people. Then it came to her. This is - in her own words - her moment.
===========================================
History was always an interesting subject to me. As it requires a basic knowledge of important dates, I found ways to remember them early on. Events during the Renaissance in the 1500s were easy to remember, because the Renaissance was a vibrant renewal, and "1500s" is a rather intriguing shade of red. It's color stands out from the other centuries; preceded by the blue 1400s and succeeded by the green 1600s. The zeros, of course, just make the colors stand out more because they are white. One of the reasons I always try to get straight A's is because I like it's pale yellow color better than B's purple/blue. Words and dates just naturally have colors- not necessarily on the page, but in the mind. It's difficult to accurately describe, but it is almost as if as soon as I hear or read the word, its color simultaneously appears as well. I never thought much about it, or paid it much attention (unless I was using the colors to help me study) until last year.
One day, my mother asked, what seemed to me, an innocuous question, "What color is 'o'?" White, obviously, was my reply. "What about 's'?" S is green. General terms, of course, because several letters, and words themselves, are green, but different shades. Then mom said that "s" and "o" don't have colors, they're just letters. To which I said, of course they're letters. Letters are colored. I didn't really understand what mom was talking about, or why she had asked such obvious questions (she might well have asked what color the sky is). But she explained to me that in her psychology class, they had just finished discussing synesthesia- a neurological condition in which stimulation of one sensory leads to automatic and involuntary experiences in a second sensory. I have the most common form, grapheme, where letters and numbers are colored.
This was news to me. I had never heard of synesthesia before; I had just assumed that everyone thought this way, that it was as natural as breathing. It made me try to imagine thinking and reading without color, but honestly to this day I can't fathom it. I did, however, start to notice it more; when a certain word has a particularly interesting color, I realize immediately, not just if I need to notice in order to study. To me, the French verb "mettre" is a really deep purple, and its conjugated forms are slightly different- "mets" is purple/yellowish, "mettons" is more lavender. Synesthesia does help me remember people's name too. I have a really bad memory for names, so when I meet an acquaintance after not seeing them for some time, I find myself thinking, "Oh man, his name was colored like a creamsicle! It must have been Corey." I realize now, as well, that sometimes when I wanted to draw a picture, that I would think of the words that I wanted to describe it as, and use their colors as a basis for the picture's color scheme.
Learning that I have synesthesia was very memorable to me, because it changed the way I think about a variety of things. I never had a reason to think about my thoughts before, but I do a lot more now. I've always loved art, and now I have more ways to approach it, and more ideas and inspirations. At the very least, it's been entertaining to my friends, who want to know what color their names are.

RE: Youch

"Youch"

(That's the sound of 53 yr old me biting my tongue - hard!)
(ya - you know who I'm talking to!)
(damned New Years resolution!)

Monday, April 07, 2008

I hope our tax returns come quickly




It's somebodies birthday tomorrow!!!

HAPPY BIRTHSEASON DARLING!!!!!




(sorry, I don't have Sox opening day tickets)

(nor a puppy, sheep, goat, or "adoptable infant child with no living relatives")

LOVE, ME!