Stuck

The day started fun enough - Sue & I (and a handful of other parents) served breakfast at 6:00am for Julies Senior Class Lockin - 65 sleep deprived 18 year olds looking for bacon and pancakes and bacon and english muffins and bacon and sausage and bacon eggs and ........
Needless to say, the bacon ran out fast but the kids were grateful for the rest.

Then I got stuck having to run to Hanson to resupply the rabbit and chicken feed, but made the most of it with a long fun visit at Nenna's house where numerous brothers & sisters and nieces and nephews meet for saturday morning breakfast.

Then I got stuck having to do the dump run.

Then the 3 youngest talked me into bringing them skating at John's Pond - the summertime local swimming hole. Of course I got stuck tightening everybodies skates which I hate doing! (and I wasn't even skating myself). In the winter the pond is inhabited by ice fishermen, nighttime skimobilers, and daytime skaters but the parking lot is not plowed, and the sloping entrance can become quite icy - a fact I remembered about 1 second too late. While the kids slipped and skidded around the pond (OK I admit it vaguely resembled skating) I tried to move the van out of it's spot - to no avail. I attempted all of the typical maneuvers - rocking, sand, even a piece of rug under the rear tire while Jamie & his friend Dylan pushed. Fortunately, an ice fisherman with a 4x4 truck and an emergency toe rope that he had never found the opportunity to use before now was happy to save the day. So with a little slipping and sliding and spinning of tires - and Jamie and Dylan being converted into traffic stoppers - the truck, followed closely by the van, skidded out onto the dry road. But at least the kids had fun (and I came out of it with a story with a happy ending!).

more E.W.E.

Mary delivered the entire bundle of 187 (275 pages) of Civil War Letters written by great great great uncle Erastus. Let the transcribing and discoveries begin. I already discovered that he knew his future wife Harriet (married in 1867) before he left for his original 3-month tour in April 1861, which answers one question but raises many more.

Weight loss is anti-American

I do realize that my job as the support person of someone who is on a weight loss program is vastly easier than that of the actual weight loss person. Even so, I think I can see why it is such a difficult task to succeed at. A large part of it is because so much of the psycology of it is backwards to what we are raised to believe - that bigger is better, that we want more while working less.

In America we work at our jobs to make more money so we can afford to live a better lifestyle. We want a bigger house with a larger yard, and we want to relax and cookout and drink beside our pool - all while hired hands take care of the mowing and pool cleaning as we ourselves avoid manual labor ( a sign of success). Instead of preparing our own meals, we prefer to eat at restaurants where the portions are so huge that no matter how much we stuff ourselves we couldn't possibly finish it all (a sign of success). Even our "sayings" tend to lead us in the opposite direction. It does seem wrong to say

"I look forward to seeing "less" of you in the future"
or
"you are climbing "down" the ladder of success"
or
"congratulations on your "small" accomplishment"

Sports teams who lose more than everybody else are scorned and made fun of and their coaches are fired. Downsizing in business is due to lack of success. Trimming the waste and tightening the belt means you are suffering through poor times but you hope to eventually return to being able to afford to splurge at will. Not having to perform manual labor is a professional goal and a sign of job success, so needing to go to a gym must be a sign of failure.
Virtually everything that shouts "AMERICAN DREAM!", a weight loss program say's "BAD, BAD, BAD". No wonder it is so hard for people to successfully lose weight and maintain that weight loss. On top of any of the physiological struggles going on internally, externally they are being UnAmerican - and that is just too much peer pressure to overcome for many.
Well, on her 1-year anniversary of her second serious attempt at personal downsizing, I want to congratulate Sue for being a big loser, for being a shinking violet, for being small minded, for running away from her problem, and for working like a dog. Keep up the good work.
xoxoxoxoxox

New Years at Gabe's

The annual New Years Eve party at Jim & Paula's got cancelled mid-afternoon due to the white-out blizzard that blew throughout the afternoon. Gabe and Una had planned on still going over, but when their own babysitter bailed out, J & P decided to brave the elements and go to G & U's house to ring in the New Year. As we too are on the south shore, and Jim had not directly spoken to us (just a voicemail) nor heard back from us yet (Sue inadvertantly left her cellphone at home while we were out and about) Gabe called my phone to ask if we got the news yet, and if we still wanted to come up for the evening. Having already been out playing in my 4x4 truck (took Jamie out to lunch & the mall for his birthday - Happy 16th Birthday Jamie), and because the weather report said the snow would end around 9:00pm, we said "of course we will be there! I love my 4-wheel drive". So the evening was a bit quieter & more low-key than most past New Years Parties, but it was still very nice - let's call it more intimate. Sue decided to leave Johnny Depp behind so it was just the 3 couples - J & P, D & S, and G & U and thier 4 children. A bowl of Chili, Meatballs, Chips & Dip, a few drinks, a vicious game of boggle, a couple of phone calls to/from Corey (at Times Square or thereabouts) and it was officially 2009.

Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas, Erastus

The day after Christmas was a day off for me, so as a present to myself I decided to return to visit the Boston Public Library and the letters of great-great-great uncle Erastus. I even brought reinforcements - Sue, Mary & Aunt Maria joined in to read the 188 letters from 1861-1865. They are fascinating to read and attempt to put into perspective, and although the four of us skimmed through the 5 folders in about 2 hours, it was too hard to narrow down which ones we should get copies of. Thanks to Maria's pragmatism, we all decided "what the heck - we'll ask for copies of ALL of them"! The archivist at the library explained that they are short of staff during the holidays but should be able to have the copies done within a few weeks. Then Mary informed me she has been trying to arrange with the South Carolina Historical Society to get copies of some of their collection. So my Erastus Christmas will last for a while as I wait in anticipation to have these 145 year old letters in my possession to pour over and dwell upon. What a fun new hobby!

Christmas Goodies

A Kelty backpack, a Stephan Stills CD, a Pat Metheney CD, jeans, Guitar strings, Ukelele strings, a genealogy book with a maternal pedigree back to 1573, various candy AND.......

a Beatles Monopoly game that Corey & Julie insisted we play in the evening. Now everybody knows that Monopoly is NOT a genteel game - it's vicious and cut-throat. Sue dropped out early and tried to make brownie points with her son by giving him all her property & cash, leaving he & Julie to gang up on me to attempt to crush me into oblivion.

But it was not to be! With a combination of shrewd manuvering and good luck of the dice I CRUSHED THEM, refusing to allow them to make an illegal out-of-turn trade by singing "I told you before, no, you can't do that" and making THEM sing "I'm A Loser".

YES, it was a Fab day!

(oh ya, I suppose I should mention everyone else made out ok too)

Company Christmas Spirit

Our new Marketing VP was bemoaning the fact that there appears to be no sense of Christmas Spirit around the company. Well, because the boss was not going to frivolously spend money on decorations, I felt that we should take what was available to us and make do. A few ornaments from home, and a potted plant from the cafeteria seemed to do the trick. VP Neil was very impressed and intends to keep it in his office until after New Years.

So despite the economic downturn and bleak times for the construction and cabinetry industry....

MERRY CHRISTMAS

family Christmas party 2008

Another year, another annual family reunion/Christmas party/jam session.

Due to lots of snowfall, attendence was down but a fun time was had by all who did attend. Most notably were a few newcomers. Tommy Tobin brought along his new girlfriend - a young lady he met at bluegrass festivals and very sweet & pretty. Nephew Chris introduced the family to his girlfriend - a fellow teacher at the school he teaches at, who (sadly) I didn't actually get to chat with as we had to leave early and they arrived just before we left. Seldom seen relatives Neil and daughter Layla, and Eric with sons Matt and Sean made it to the party this year. David, Tommy & I managed to get all of Julies songs in before it was time to scoot.

Christmas wasn't always merry

I took Joe out shopping for his Secret Santa gift. Because there are so many siblings, we decided some years ago to have them all draw names and buy one Secret Santa gift for that sibling only. That way none of them had to spend $100+ on gifts. So instead Joe only had to borrow $20 from me to get his one gift. As we were driving he reminisced about the first two years that we did the Secret Santa routine, he was upset because each time he drew Mary's name - and he didn't like Mary back then, so he didn't want to buy her a present. It wasn't fair that he got her two years in a row and wasn't alowed to trade. When I asked him why he didn't like Mary in the beginning, he somberly replied "because she looked a lot like one of my Foster Mothers". Joe had spent a few years very much NOT beloved.

Thankfully, life has apparently gotten better for little Joe, he & Mary get along fine, and Christmas will be very merry for him this year - and not because he drew someone else for Secret Santa this year.

So make sure to acknowledge how fortunate we all are, do something kind for those less fortunate, and then make certain you remember to have a Merry Christmas.

80 years is a long time

Now the fields are all four lanes
And the moon's not just a name
Are you more amazed at how things change
Or how they stay the same
And do you sit here on this porch and wonder
How the time flies by
Or does it seem to barely creep along
With 75 Septembers come and gone
(Cheryl Wheelers "75 Septembers")

My mother turns 80 on Dec 16th, which is quite an accomplishment considering all she has had to endure - born before the Great Depression, The War to end all wars, Rock & Roll, etc.... raising (to varying degrees!) 11 children (8 born, 3 "steps") into successful adults (to varying degrees!)
I know how many times I joke that either Nikki or I will need to be dead before she gets through highschool. I wonder how often Mom said that about any and all of us.

So on the 13th, the children of this woman known by some as Edna, Nenna, twinny, Mrs. Blauss, Mrs. Howland, or even Golde (the part she once played in a local production of Fiddler On The Roof) threw her a surprize birthday party at Hanson's Congregational church where she is a Deacon. Over 100 people - a diverse group of old friends, neighbors, relatives, co-workers - showed up to toast her.

Needless to say, in the beginning there was much brainstorming - sowing of ideas, threshing those ideas, throwing the chafe into the fires of hell, arm wrestling and name calling and pulling rank to narrow down the final decisions and details. We re-itterated what we have known all our lives - Wes (the first-borne) is the grand concept guy, Laurie (the eldest daughter) is the enforcer, Donnie, Marlene, Eric & David (the middle 4) are the snipers (keeping a safe distance and firing a few well-aimed shots now and then), Debbie (the littlest Blauss) tries to keep up but keeps getting knocked down (but God love her she keeps getting back up and rejoining the fray), and Heather (the baby - and despite the improbability of Mom being 45 and on her 2nd marriage - possibly the only "planned" baby of the lot of us) is the one who in the end gets her way because as the baby, she is the cutest and knows instinctively how to get what she wants. It's been that way since the day we were each born, and we are comfortable in our roles 35 to 58 years later.

Needless to say, in the end it was a wonderful celebration, all went smoothly, everybody had a good time and we all lived to tell about it. Mom, ever the "happy-tear" queen, stayed well hydrated - being congratulated by people she's known since school days to little "India" who isn't in school yet. Without exception, every one of the 75 (or so) non-relatives who had been invited to attend felt tremendously honored that THEY were included in the celebration. We could have easily invited triple that number and still found more who wished they could have attended. Wes, in his Director/Producer role, greated guests and stood in the wings as the actors did their scenes. Laurie and her son Chris ran and narrated the power-point "This is your life" presentation. I supplied, set up and broke down the PA equipment, chatted up the semi-famous local legend saxaphone player Dana Colley (check out the former band Morphine, or more recently, The Twinemen) and his daughter, and received visit & kayak invitations from old neighbors the Mahoney's. Marlene & David mingled, Eric stayed home in NH (his wife a longtime sufferer of emotional/mental disorders although the rest of the "married to a Blauss support group" in-laws - Joanne, Sue & Dawn -who spent most of the evening in the downstairs kitchen, waitressing snacks, and sneaking Absolut into their own punch glasses, admire her as the most clever genius of all). Debbie & Heather did their best to make certain everything went the way it should (which is quite a trick for two people who don't necessarily agree on how things SHOULD go).

Thankfully, an emergency conference of the organizing committee had decided that morning to eliminate the "Surprize" part of the party. The liability of having "unexpected overwhelming emotion syndrome" be the cause of death and therefore not actually officially making it to 80 just seemed to big a risk. SMART MOVE! Knowing it was coming, 8 hours in advance, gave her the opportunity to absorbe it a bit instead of flattening her like a steamroller. Aside from the 'long-lost-friend' type atmosphere, the highlight came from nephew Chris' description of an "Edna Compliment!" and her propensity to unitentionally insult relatives. Her two most famous ones were: once telling Heather " you could be a Miss America - if only you had a talent", and when Chris commented that his young adult club at the church had only one male member - her response was "who would that be?" There was also a surprize performance from the church based vocal group "The Hearts" - an a'cappella womens group that Mom was a member of for many years. They had, unbeknownst to the rest of us, composed a tribute song for her and sang to her at the end of the evening.

Well, the end of the official evening, anyway. Some of us siblings, steps, and in-laws needed a drink (no alcohol at the church - Congregationalists, remember?) and gathered at JJ's afterwards. Every good event team holds a review session after the event, right?
(sadly, THAT story can't be told, at least not where certain non-attending relatives might discover them!!!!)

Like moths to a flame

Some people just attract attention. Without particularly trying, they can enter a room and other people seem to instinctively know that this is somebody worth paying attention too. This person treats everybody equally – the high-powered executive or the cleaning person – and they both feel that they are being treated with respect, kindness and friendliness. Of course I’ve known this about Sue forever (forever being since she was 15 years old) and it’s one of the many things I love about her and never get tired of witnessing. It happens in restaurants (one day a confused young waiter sheepishly confessed to her “I know you must be somebody famous by the way everybody else greats you, but I just don’t know who you are”). It happens at parties (just the other night a young man – coincidentally our sons EXACT age – was being mesmerized by her story telling and pleaded for the honor of hearing the next one which she initially was reluctant to tell on the basis of his young age - 23). But today was a bit more comical – at my work. As it happens, I messed up and took the wrong vehicle to work – so after bringing Joe & Jamie for a doctor’s appointment, she had to stop by and swap car with van. Our new marketing VP noticed the van pull in and then this woman with two children approaching the front door. He immediately pegged her as a potential purchaser of our fine kitchen cabinetry and leaped into action – greeting her cheerfully at the door, offering hot chocolate to the kids, and attempting to get a quick idea of what she might be interested in. OK – admittedly, this wasn’t the typical case of her “aura” drawing people in, but more a reflection of how desperate the cabinet industry is now-a-days. But despite Mr VP’s initial disappointment at losing the prospect of a sale (he knows how much I make) he continued on chatting happily and pushing the hot chocolate for the kids. Even when she is saying “no” to a man, they can’t resist the desire to be in her presence!

She's a Rainbow

Have you seen her all in gold
Like a queen in days of old
She shoots colors all around
Like a sunset going down
Have you seen the lady fairer
She comes in colors everywhere;
She combs her hair
She's like a rainbow

(Rolling Stones - 1967)

It's not a perfect world!

I learned this Sunday from two sources - a 7 year old Mite-C player at about 6:15am (see - already not a perfect world especially after only 3-1/2hrs sleep) and a girls team coach at around noon.
The title for this post is a direct quote from the coach who tried to explain why I shouldn't have called a penalty on his team for illegally substituting for a player coming off of a penalty. His excuse was based on the odd way the penalty bench is set up in this particular rink (his home rink where his team plays half it games) is not clearly separated from their players bench and therefore is "not a perfect world" (he did not dispute the rule, or dispute the fact that they broke it). It did make me wish I had realized this eternal truth earlier so that I might have used it as words of comfort to the earlier distraught 7 year old. He had been involved in one of those Mite-C collisions (one can't turn, one can't stop = CRASH!). As I knelt next to the crying child, his coach came to help him up and asked the boy "what happened". The from-the-mouths-of babes reply was "that big kid checked me into the God Damned boards!"

To sum it all up....

St. Lucia & Sandals Resorts are great - I recommend them to anyone. But as wonderful a location it was, the best part was remembering how much fun it is to adventure and explore with Sue and how easy it was to be in love with her. Certainly the kids and our daily life in general are adventures of their own sort, and we still love each other - but to be so far away just the two of us removed the mountains of obstacles and have-to's that typically make it hard to see our wonderful forest for all of our mundane trees. Once upon a time, we were able to go hiking, or to the beach, or simply out to eat without fretting about who was babysitting or who had to be picked up when, or if we had it in our budget. So for a whole week it was magically like old times. Although I wasn't perfect way back then, and certainly I have not fixed any flaws since then (the word regress might fit here), it was so easy to be at my best on our vacation. Now the challenge is to retain the feelings of renewal as we navigate the same-old same-old routines. I'll keep trying to live up to the challenge because I know how worth it she is. The proof is still fresh in my mind.

Pirate Night at St Lucia Sandals

Fire breathing men, fire eating women, limbo dancers all followed the St Lucian drum semi-circle. Watch and be amazed!

http://picasaweb.google.com/don.sueblauss/StLucia2008Video#5269611981642218306

OK - I know that THIS is what you really want to hear

by now you are already sick of hearing about how wonderful and perfect our trip was. You realize it couldn't possibly be ALL great. So this should make you feel better.



day 1 - we had to get out of bed at 2:00am and drive to Logan Airport

day 1 - we weren't on the pick up list at the St Lucia airport

day 1 - Sue didn't get her cold towel when we arrived at the resort

day 2 - there was another guitar player at the "Staff/ Guest" talent show

day 2 - they didn't declare a talent show "winner" (and I totally would have won it)

day 3 - the hungover "other" guitar player and his grumpy buddy's joined us on the horseback ride

day 3 - I caught a cold/sore throat

day 4 - I got an earful/mouthfull/nosefull/swimsuitfull of sand&surf while body surfing

day 4 - I lost my "Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame" bandanna in the surf (and it was doing such a fine job of preventing the top of my head from getting sunburned up to then)

day 4 - I got kicked out of the ocean by the lifeguards because the waves were too rough (not for me, but the other body surfers must have looked like they were out of their league)

day 5 - an hour & 15 minutes and Mass was not yet finished

day 5 - I got kicked out of the small pool (who knew they treated it at 9:00pm?)

day 5 - a random cloud on the horizon interfered with an otherwise perfect sunset

day 6 - Englishmen in their 60's keep informing us of everything they are certain we don't know

day 6 - another random cloud on the horizon interfered with another otherwise perfect sunset

day 6 - the "Pirate" ship sailing across the sunset didn't actually attack the yacht

day 7 - the 4 mile drive to the snorkling boat took a half hour

day 7 - I wasn't allowed to pretend to be a shark while snorkling

day 8 - we had to leave

day 8 - climbing to 38000ft and decending again is very painful when you have water in your ears (each time)

day 8 - Miami Airport Customs

day 8 - Boston weather 45 degrees & rainy

WOW! Suddenly I realize what a horrible time I must have had (thank goodnes I didn't realize it at the time!)

There now - don't you feel better - knowing the true suffering we had to endure? - after we tried so hard to make you all jealous? - aren't you glad it was us and not you?

All that being said, knowing what I know now..... lets go back tomorrow!!!!!

it was strange to spend a week:

(except for a few rare occasions - which simply served to impress the point)
not really needing a watch
not really needing a wallet
eating whatever you wanted
eating more than you ever wanted
drinking whatever / whenever / wherever you wanted
wondering if I'd get determined enough to get my moneys worth and really drunk (sorry to disappoint you all, but I did whip Sue a pingpong while I have a mild buzz)
being served by genuinely happy friendly wait staff EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME
being greeted by genuinely happy friendly people everywhere we went - both on and off the resort
looking at flowers growing (outdoors) in November
looking at bikini's EVERYWHERE in November (heck, at anytime of year)
realizing that it was impossible to NOT look at bikini's - they were truly unescapable
realizing that the women were not bashful/concerned/offended
and that the men were not learing/creepy/offensive
where each days top priority for many people was to claim the select lounge chairs early enough
choosing to do things on a whim, or nothing at all - and it was all acceptable.
wondering how such a small, poor country produced so many top-rate cover bands
wondering when I became so bad at pool (I used to be ok)
not really worrying about the kids back home
wondering why we didn't do this sooner
realizing that if we did this years ago, we would have had many years of disappointing vacations!
trying to figure out how/how soon we can get back again

a view with a room

Sue wanted a balconey with an ocean view. This was the view.

Thankfully there was a room attached to it! The room was very basic, but with the balcony, view, and entire resort just steps away - who needed more? It had a private outside entrance (where occasionally there was a tiny tree frog sitting on the railing, waiting for us) so it did not feel like a typical plain hotel room.

The sound of the ocean was the constant "white noise" for us to sleep by. Interestingly enough, you could clearly hear the sound of the ocean waves from inside the bathroom too. There was a vent above the tub that vented out to the balcony and chaneled the ocean noises in.

"Trust in God" vs "Prepare for the day of Reckoning"

Through careful planning I managed to save up the the necessary final payment for our trip just before the economy nosedived. I then hemmed and hawed about whether to use up my vacation days while we were only working 4 day weeks. If I used them up to get 5 days pay, I would have none left by the time we went - meaning taking an unpaid vacation. If I DIDN'T use them up and the company went under before we left, I would never get to collect them and would have blown that money. Unfortunately for many - but thankfully for me - when they layed off 75% of the workforce, the rest of us got to work 40 hr weeks again (2 weeks before my vacation departure date). I fought off the "smart/safe" logic that said if we cancelled our trip and got our money back, we would be able to catch up on all overdue bills and have a small reserve. I half-kidded about wondering if I would have a job to come back to when we came back.


Well, I had faith and trusted that I would get to collect my vacation pay after my vacation, and that we "deserved" this trip and owed it to ourselves - no matter what happened. God would provide for us. "No pressure, no worries" as they love to say often on St. Lucia. So I put work out of my mind for a whole wonderful week.


Yesterday I trustingly drove to my job and was thankful to see that indeed I did still have one.

Phhhewwww!!! Thank You God!



















Today my boss informed all of us who still remained that our wages were being reduced by 10% until business improved.

we're BACK!

despite the fact that the very first sign you see when you walk off the tarmack and into the St Lucia airport states "If you wish to cancel your return flight, call 800-xxx-xxxx".

I am assuming that you all realize that we went to St. Lucia, W.I. (windward islands) for a week. Sandals Resort - Luxury Included Vacations (all-inclusive/all adult - you really must try it). Yes, we voted - and then skipped the country!

I will post more eloquent thoughts as we get re-acclimated to the real world again, but for starters here is a favorite photo that captures the experience quite well (being all-inclusive means that I was a major gluton for the first few days but I eventually mastered moderation!)

I title this shot "first breakfast in paradise".

BTW - Although Suzie's weight watcher "goal" was to "maintain", mine was to gain 5 pounds. I don't know yet how she did, but let me assure you - I succeeded!

(for the full photo album go here http://picasaweb.google.com/don.sueblauss/StLucia2008#