The BUSY SCHEDULE competition - my turn again

Some people just never get it – you can never one-up us with the busy schedule card.

3:45pm left retreat house in Wareham refreshed and relaxed
3:50pm receive call from oldest daughter Mary saying she is waiting at the house for her birthday
4:15pm stop at Shurtleff Park to pick up sound equipment loaned to music group (only to find out they didn't actually borrow it so I didn't actually need to make this stop)
4:20pm entertain Mary & friends at house
4:45pm get Sue to bed (has to work at 11:00pm)
5:15pm remove cap from truck
5:30pm head for Hanson to pick up Queen Size Bed platform from Nenna’s house
(no small feat – Henry built it, and if you knew Henry you know what I mean)
6:00pm discover Red Sox BLEW another game to Baltimore and the Yankees won
6:45pm return with bed, pick up Julie and head to Kohl’s for back-to-school shopping
8:15pm finish shopping and treat Julie at Friendly’s
9:00pm return home to unload bed from truck (again – no small feat)
9:10pm send Corey out to gas up truck while I prep Sue’s supper
9:30pm wake up and feed Sue
10:15pm send Sue off to work
10:20pm send Corey & Julie off to purchase essential feminine products
10:30pm shower
11:00pm type letter
11:30pm bed
6:45am discover Phone message left at 6:30am about cat getting spayed today (we thought it was tomorrow)
7:15am call Sue (who’s driving home from work) to update her on the morning issues
7:20am return call to spay person – left message
7:25am return call to Chicken inspector to verify his visit later today
7:30am find cat carry cage
7:45am pick up Jamie from sleepover (because we thought the cat thing was tomorrow)
7:55am answer return call from spay people to verify the cat will be there between 8:00am & 8:00am send Corey to Duxbury with cat, send Sue to bed, send Jamie back to friends house (Corey insisted he didn’t want Jamie’s help)
8:05am leave for work (1/2hr late)
8:35am arrive at work (1/2hr late)
8:45am relax and start work
(total 17 hr time span)

cost incurred for above noted events: free retreat $50 (and well worth every penny btw), birthday (nothing YET - wait 'til wednesday), gas for van $30, bed $ hernia, Red Sox $ my sanity, Kohl’s $50, Friendly’s $12, gas for truck $20, feminine products $10, gas for car $10, the letter $ Sue’s sanity (ok – initially it will be lost but eventually saved), cat spay $65, chickens health check $5 (total $252)

Hello Corey (the original Corey)

So Corey (the one my son Corey is named after) moved away many years ago and is happily married and living in Monticello, Indiana. Long ago - before wives & kids - we played hockey & softball together, coached softball together, hiked together, hung out together - typical 20-something buddies. He was an usher at my wedding. At that time he was living in PA and we stopped to visit him on our way home from our honeymoon. Then he and Beth got married and moved to the midwest where she was from. They did come to visit once when Mary & Tim were very little, but I haven't seen him in about 20 years. Every couple of years we (I) would randomly call to say "hi" and we'd chat for half an hour - mostly about the good ol' days. Eventually I got hold of his email address and we would occasionally send a note - mostly notices about major events (Sue's parents deaths, Mary's wedding, etc...). The last couple of times we emailed, it ended up with about 10 responses back and forth. I told him it would be so much easier if he just signed up for IM. Lo and behold, the next day he emailed me to say he did. Ok - so I had to email him back to request his screen name - but now we can just chat. It's been a long time since we just chatted, but IM'ing is so great for that - you simply spot that the other person is "in the room" so to speak and if you have something to say - you do. So maybe it's sad that our first IM chat was still "do you ever hear from so-and-so" and "do you remember when...", but it's nice to think that now we can stay more current more easily. So many times he has talked about coming back to Ma. for a visit, and Sue and I were even ready to go visit him on our way to a rabbit convention - but for various reasons none of the trips ever panned out. He say's he wants to come here next summer, and for some reason I feel like it will actually happen this time. Maybe cause with IM, we can stay on top of the plan better (i.e. I can harrass him daily)! So day 2 of IMing with Corey - I've probably created a monster but what the heck, Corey is kinda like the big blue monster in Monsters, Inc - just big and friendly and well meaning - a sort of lovable gentle giant. Always has been, and after all this time and distance - it's nice to get a friend back considering that too often in life they just leave. So even if we only ever talk about the old softball team or old friends and good times, who cares - I often think about them, so why not have someone to talk to about them who lived through them with you. Welcome back, my old friend.

Goodbye Jason

My friend Jason is moving back to Arizona. I met him 8 or 9 years ago when he answered my add online looking for a bass guitar player. Aside from the unmistakable fact that he considerably taller than me (and I am 6'3") he stood out with his easy going and somewhat flambouyant attitude and excellent musicianship. He could play, sing, and he stood out in a crowd! Most importantly, Sue also thought he was great - the "Anti-Bob" as she referred to him as (inside joke) - despite the fact that she was appalled that I would trust meeting someone off of the internet. After a few years playing together in the band, Jason quit when he moved to Worchester. A while later when I had the need for a fillin bass player, I called him to ask if he could help out. Surprizingly, he said he had recently dreamed that I called him and we played together again - so he accepted. This lasted a while longer, but the travel distance and lack of steady band work was too big an obstacle, so he joined another band. Still, we made attempts to keep in touch and get together a couple times a year. The kids totally loved him and fight for his attention when he visits, and he is very patient and amused by them. When he called the other day to say he was moving back to Arizona where is mother and sister and many friends live, we were sad for us but happy for him. So a simple cookout and singalong at our house served well as a going away party, where we all got to do our best to make him feel loved (and feel bad for leaving us!). Julie & Jamie set him up with an "Instant Message" screen name under the assumption that he might actually IM with us, I gave him all of our blog links (so maybe he'll actually read this), recorded his special song "Interstate 80 Iowa", and of course took lots of pictures.





Goodbye Jason :-(
Peace be with you!

Hotel California - For What It's Worth

My Mary gave me the book “Hotel California” for Fathers Day, with her handwritten inscription “here’s a look at the crazy, wild, wacky, and just plain weird things that CSN&Y, James Taylor, The Eagles, etc got up to along the years”. Of course the mid sixties through the seventies was my music listening “Prime Time” and I know much about my icons. My musical heroes were young (only 5 to 10 years older than myself) men and women swept up by the power of music, witnessed music’s ability to move people and even culture and who were determined to propagate that movement. More than biographies about specific people, this is more of a story about the growth of the music industry through that particular era, and of course contains many stories about how the musicians helped start, create and change the industry. But unlike an authorized biography, the authors does not feel obliged to put a positive spin on anyone in particular, and paints a much broader picture of the musicians, the music, the times and the effect they had on each other.

The book chronicles how these rebellious young singer/songwriters and music industry upstarts congregated in L.A. in the 60’s – hungry, restless, motivated, committed, and eager to change the world. Of course, as they start to succeed in changing their world, their world changes them. Eventually most of them become the exact people doing the exact things that they so vigorously protested against when they were starting out. Their rebelliousness against the establishment was the reason that listeners loved them so much and bought records and concert tickets which afforded them the ability to stop being hungry, restless, motivated, committed, and eager to change the world.

“Come on people now, smile on your brother. Everybody get together; try to love one another right now” and “There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly clear. There’s a man with a gun over there telling me I’ve got to beware. I think its time we stop, children, what’s that sound. Everybody look what’s going down”. Music could change the course of society’s evolution – or so they/we thought.

As young listeners, we were moved emotionally by certain songs, bands, players – and eagerly took sides, defiantly defended OUR bands. We argued who was better – the Beatles or the Dave Clarke 5 (yes, that preceded arguments that continue to this day between the Beatles or the Stones), or even who was better within a band – John or Paul, or Stephan or Neil. Songs weren’t just favorite melodies; they MEANT something to us – as they obviously meant something to the songwriter/performer. I always gravitated towards the “singer/songwriter” types, as their lyrics and the performance of them seemed so personal and committed. Sonny and Cher sang songs that were written by someone else who wrote songs all day that could be sung by anyone else. Neil Young wrote songs that nobody but Neil could do properly. Sonny and Cher could never had sung “The Needle and the Damage Done” while Neil could never had sung “I’ve Got You Babe”. I (and most every young musician wannabe) felt a certain allegiance to certain performers, and learned to play and sing their songs with as close to the same intensity as I could master. The music was personally important, it meant something, it became a part of our beings, and it helped to drive us and even politically motivate us. Bands or songs could motivate us to take a stand and protest against war, injustice, prejudice, government wrong-doing. Of course I am now well aware that many of my icons became drug and people abusing, money hungry egomaniacs, but their self-destructive outcome didn’t change the honesty of their previously expressed idealist views and artistic talent.

Maybe I’m old and blind and out of touch, but I don’t see that these days. Certainly my own kids have favorite bands and songs, but I don’t think it’s with the same sense of commitment. I’m sure Mary or Corey have “their songs” and have learned to play them on their guitars and years down the road will make them smile when they come on the Oldies station, but I’m not sure they have songs that will make them cry (now or 30 years from now) or that make them want to become better people or join a cause. I do. And I’m not saying I’m better or they are lesser – of course they are good people and will do good things. I just don’t think that the “power of music” contributes as much to their developing psych-ee as it did to me and my contemporaries.

These days, people scoff at the summer/oldies/reunion concert tours that these aging throwbacks perform. Certainly these 60-something rockers & bands are a far cry from what they once were. Lack of health, voice, energy, and current relevance is obvious. They are no longer a “force to be reckoned with” as they originally were. I agree that their efforts to record and sell new material generally fall far short of their own previously set standards. By all logical reason, they should have hung it up long ago – so why do they still survive? Because even though they are no longer the idealistic rabble-rousers they once were, they still remember the feelings they had when they wrote those anthems so long ago. Maybe CSNY or Joni Mitchell are not relevant to today’s music industry, but they are still relevant to us who first learned about the world through their songs. WE still remember the power and the emotion evoked by the songs, and long for that feeling that once drove us (or celebrate that it still does). I wonder if Corey will go to a Counting Crows or Green Day concert when he is in his 50’s? (Not that at 18 I could conceive of going to a CSNY concert at 50!)



The book ends with a short, recent interview with Ned Doheny – a lesser known member of the old Laurel Canyon 60’s-70’s Singer/songwriter clique – talking about how those artist’s collective rise to superstardom ruined themselves, and their effect on the world in general.
[In selling their souls for fame and riches, the stars of the 60’s and 70’s helped create a world where passive consumerism replaced emotional engagement and political commitment. The apathy of twentysomethings over the environment and Iraq is shocking when one harks back to the civil rights and Vietnam War protests of the 60’s. Nobody is writing songs about what George Bush is doing. And you get to thinking ‘maybe the power of music is over’. He pauses and proffers a sad smile. “Maybe I should go downstairs and not worry about it,” he says. “But I keep saying to my son ‘Don’t you guys get it?’” {taken from the book Hotel California by Barney Hoshyns}] These last lines haunted me.

I wonder what art form will inspire our children to desire to make their world a better place? I don’t think it’s music – at least not now. Maybe their world is so comfortable that they feel no need to improve it, they have no hunger. Or they simply don’t know what they hunger for, and have no spokes-person to point it out in a way that moves them. One of their own music icons even points out the apparent apathy in one of his own songs, singing

[Now we see everything that's going wrong With the world and those who lead it We just feel like we don't have the means To rise above and beat it So we keep waiting Waiting on the world to change We keep on waiting Waiting on the world to change
{John Mayer}]

If this performer wrote this lyric in the late 60’s / early 70’s, Neil Young and Lynyrd Skynrd would have ganged up and retaliated and mobilized their fans so much that it would have been the last song this guy ever sung. Ah but that was the good old days – not that they were so good, they weren’t – which is why people united together, rose up and did something about it. The difference in my generation was that, instead of Presidents and Generals and Adventurers, our heart and soul leaders were our poets and singers. I don’t know who my own children’s heart and soul leaders are (Bart Simpson, Steven Colbert?). It’s not me – I’m who they are supposed to be rebelling against. On one hand I’m glad they are not, but on the other I’m not sure that’s good. Our country was built on rebellion and desire for social improvement. If we are so well off and our children so complacent that they no longer care to rebel and improve their world, then we might be in big trouble.

Cooped up with Joe

Joe has had chickens for over a year. Recently he became seriously interested in them, reading about how to properly care for them and about all the different breeds. Since one of his pair perished, Joe has taken it upon himself to be the remaining ones playmate - sitting in the coop, talking to it, teaching it to let him hold it, setting up a cleaning schedule and system for the coop. Pretty in-depth for a 10 year old. Sue has been so impressed with Joe's level of commitment, she got him two more adult hen's to join his other one. Then she mail-ordered him 25 baby chick's - due to arrive this week. This meant the need to build a new, bigger chicken coop. Joe had plenty of ideas and with Sue's help had already scoured the scrap pile for salvagable materials. So - I had my weekend project. Normally when I build, I retreat into my own little world, ignore the family, forget to eat, etc... Jamie is usually the only one who ever wants to help, but this time Joe - who can't focus or sit still long enough - wanted "in" on every aspect. So father & son spent 6 hours (ask Joe) working on saturday and more on sunday. Joe learned to use the drill and change the bits with the chuck key. He got to climb on the shed roof. He cut boards with the chop saw, hammered nails, used a post hole digger, planned and contributed ideas - and maintained a sense of amazement and pride throughout. He didn't fight me over things I said wouldn't work. We shopped for what lumber we couldn't scrounge, and picked out hinges. In two days he turned from a monkee into a carpenter. Now that I'm back to work and he's home, I have to hope that with his newfound knowledge of power tools, he doesn't turn into a danger! I'm afraid I'll come home one day to see what he "Built" while Tim was babysitting!

I was born in the sign of water and it's there that I feel my best, the albatros and the whale they are my brothers (sorry Wes, Eric & Dave)

If there’s one thing in my life that’s missing
It’s the time that I spend alone
Sailing on the cool and bright clear water
It’s kind of a special feeling
When you’re out on the sea alone
Staring at the full moon like a lover
(Cool Change by The Little River Band)

“The Shain Gang” (or what ever our band name is to actually be) and spouses/significant others spent the evening cruising the Cape Cod Canal on Robs boat. It was a casual gathering which pleasantly turned into a sort of “team building” bonding trip. Rob (our boat captain and keyboard player), Nelly (his girlfriend for the past year) and Marcus (his 5 year old Golden Retriever) were our gracious hosts on his 32ft boat “Seascapes”. Joni (our drummer) and her husband Joe (master electrician & “Mr. Fixit”), Ken (our bass player) and his wife Nina (who used to be neighbors and best friends of Sue’s former/favorite boss), and Sue and I rounded out the crew. After friendly introductions and taste testing the hors d’ourves we embarked on our 3 hour tour (ok – it was actually 4 hours, but we were having fun!). Of course, being “Cape People” everyone else had plenty of good boating stories to tell and knew about boating rules such as “Red on right when returning”. Sue and I – being “Off Cape” landlubbers – only had canoeing stories and one old boating story about when I was 5 years old (look for this in “Growing Up At Nenna’s House”), but could readily contribute in the wedding planning conversations (Ken and Nina’s daughter will be getting married soon).

The weather was perfect (75 degrees at Monument Beach Marina), water was calm and boat traffic strangely absent (did everybody else know something that we didn’t? approaching monsoons? Power plant meltdowns?). We headed for the canal and approached as the train bridge was being raised – stroke of perfect timing that we got to watch it but not be delayed by it. Rob eased us gracefully along, pointing out various points of interest from his upper deck and newly upholstered (his own handiwork) captain’s chair – with his two new co-pilots on either side of him (Sue on the left – of course – lefty! - and Nelly on his right). The upper deck actually fit us all (except for Marcus who couldn’t climb the ladder) snuggly but comfortably. At the eastern end of the canal we opted to bypass the “Aqua Bar” and simply anchor off the southern jetty, watch the sun set, and enjoy the food & drink we brought. Of course there were the obligatory “Gilligan’s Island” references even though our cast & crew didn’t quite match up with theirs. OK – so Rob bears a slight resemblance to “The Professor” and Nelly could have easily put her hair in pony-tails and been Mary Ann and if Ken put on another 100 pounds he might pass himself off as “The Skipper”, but that would leave Sue & Nina to fight over who got to be the Movie Star or Mrs. Howell, and Marcus and I to be Gilligan and Mr. Howell (and me having no money and being tall and once-upon-a-time skinny would make me a lock as the 1st mate).

As we cheerfully conversed and bonded, the sun set and dusk took over the canal and fog took over the bay. Rob determined it was time to start the trek back and fired up the twin engines. Oddly enough, the upper deck lights, the flood light and GPS randomly decided to not work. After a near-miss with a channel marker buoy, we were on our way just ahead of a tug & barge. Properly gauging my interest level, Rob offered me a turn at the wheel and set the throttle for me. After a few minutes I got the feel of how the boat reacted and how much to turn the wheel and ride the wake of the barge. Maybe it's genetic or an "Ancestral Memory" thing, and Great Grandpa Billy Annis and Uncle Happy were smiling my way, but it all felt very natural. Before long, Rob relaxed and settled in next to Nelly and offered occasional words of advice and encouragement. Little did he know of the recurring images from “The Perfect Storm” I had going through my head as we mildly listed and lurched a couple of times. Steering a boat through the canal is actually work! (but fun) As Sue doesn’t actually like driving period, she was happy to let me have my fun – and Rob let me take us all the way back to within a hundred yards of the pier. He then proceeded to impress one and all with the ability to turn a 32 foot boat around backwards in a 35 foot space, and back into his slip without hitting any neighboring boats, pilings, or docks.

So with lots of happy “thank you’s” and “good byes” and promises of future excursions (and electrical wiring advice) we all made our separate ways home. Our “Community Building Mini-Retreat” a success, we are eager to get this band out of the water and on the road!


I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever, so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But we'll try best that we can to carry on

Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
(Come Sail Away by Styx)

On The Verge

Well it’s been a few years and a few unsuccessful attempts since I’ve played in a band. Cousin Tommy and I jammed for a while with high hopes, but it was hard to find the time and it wasn’t coming together as smoothly as I had hoped. Then I met Bill from Whitman and the first few meetings were extremely encouraging as our song knowledge and styles seemed to just fall into place. Unfortunately, as we should have been getting tight and ready to play out – things seemed to regress. Then I met with a group from the Cape – 3-pieces who had been playing together but had their singer/guitarist/leader retire. They needed someone to both play guitar and carry about 3/4 of a nights worth of lead vocals.

So here it is about six months later, we are practicing about three times a month and just booked our first official gig – a private party. Not a big deal but a start – a paid start! (and a good morale boost). At least now we can honestly tell prospective clubs/ booking agents that we are indeed a working band. We’ll let you all know when you can come to a club to hear us – we’ll be counting on you all to show up and make us look good! “The Shain Gang” has arrived!

Hiking Trip

My brother Wes & sister Laurie have been great about inviting their Carver nieces & nephews (as they get old enough) on backpacking adventures. Jamie is 14 yrs old now and it's his turn. A 3-day hike up and over the Franconia Ridge in New Hampshires White Mountains, with 2 nights staying at Greenleaf AMC Hut where Jamies cousin (Wes' son and former Appalachian Trail thru-hiker) Nathaniel is working as part of the Hut Croo. I've climbed Mt Liberty and Mt Garfield (opposite ends of the ridge) but never the Ridge (Sue has, with Wes one summer long ago) so I'm feeling small pangs of jealousy/wistfullness.



Oh how I remember the "Good Old Days" when Laurie & I shared many backpacking trips.

"Now I think I'm going down to the well tonight and I'm going to drink till I get my fill. And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it, but I probably will. Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of, well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister but boring stories of glory days" (Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen)

Leading the League

I don't actually have all the facts, but I will simply jump to the conceited conclusion that I lead the league in "dumped comments". It makes me feel good to think I am the best at something - even if it's only the talent of irking a friend with smart@$$ comments (gee - I hope she doesn't think that my calling her "a friend" is a smart@$$ comment)

(although I still maintain that I actually complimented her by comparing her to HerMajesty, who not only confidently assumes people are talking about her, but always replies when people mention that somebody was indeed talking about her "are you kidding? People have MEETINGS about me!")

The Garden - before (2005) & after (2007)

The Garden/Patio = circa 2005

The Garden/Patio = circa 2007

and the meek shall inherit (or at least crush their older sibling accomplishments and rub their noses in it)

Mary played basketball, softball, and baseball – and while not overly competitive, she enjoyed playing the games and strived to do well. Typically she did do pretty well and played JV softball in 7th & 8th grade. She opted to not play varsity ball after witnessing from the safe distance of the JV field, the (shall we say) zeal of the varsity coach. When Timmy’s Babe Ruth League baseball team needed bodies, she switched to baseball – platooning at first base and batting cleanup by the end of the year. Coach DiCarlo STILL brags about her.

Tim played one year of soccer (didn’t particularly care for it) and played Little League, Babe Ruth League, and JV baseball. Timmy loved playing and would practice in the yard as often as possible. He had deceptive ability – he looked nonchalant and did not run gracefully, but he could catch, throw (even threw some knuckleballs in Babe Ruth), and had a knack for clutch hitting (with power). He hit a key home run (bounced off the outfielders head and over the fence) in a Little League game, and hit the longest triple I’ve ever seen in JV ball (OK, so it would have been an easy home run for anyone else). In the end, he quit playing baseball at school for much the same reason as Mary. Why do some coaches think that louder & meaner = better?

Corey is the most intensely competitive of the Blauss children. From eight years old, he knew the playing rules and the rules of competition. He knew when to cover the base or play the ball, knew he could tag and score on a caught pop-foul ball. Like Tim, his talent wasn’t obvious – you had to watch the little thing he did right and realize his understanding of the game. His natural physical abilities were not such that he instilled confidence in his coaches. Most of his coaches didn’t rate him as a “player”, and despite all the pre-season coach speeches about hard work in practice determining playing time Corey was keenly aware of the injustice of how the prima dona players could screw up and screw off and still start every game and play the key positions. All Corey ever did was throw strikes (one game with 16 strikeouts despite no fastball), hit in the clutch (sure he could look bad when the bases were empty, but had a knack for starting a rally when one was needed) and make heads up base running plays (6 years later coach Johnson STILL talks about the tag&score on the foul ball play). To this day Corey remembers being on the bench for four innings in a minor league game, coaches who promised he would play certain positions but reneged, and the JV coach who chewed him out for stealing third base (uncontested) in a game they were losing by 19 runs (and he then proceeded to score his teams only run). When Corey realized that no matter what he did, the Varsity Coach was not going to give him any playing time (if indeed he made the team), he switched to cross country. He knew every runner he needed to beat, worked hard and even made league all-stars. Yes, Corey got the Blauss competitive gene for certain. A personality conflict with the CC coach and a collapsed lung made him decide to not run cross country in his senior year.

Julie could care less about sports. What good is softball or basketball going to do for her as an artist & Egyptologist? Because as parents we promote physical activity and sportsmanship, Julie was coaxed into playing baseball/softball and basketball. Oh how the basketball coaches drooled when the nearly 6 foot 6th grader walked onto the court. Oh how they cringed when they realized she didn’t know how to play, and quite honestly didn’t care that much. Although she did have a huge game against the leagues best scorer (shut her down for only 6 points, and scored 10 herself along with key steels and blocks) to win the championship – she would still tell people she played because her parents made her (not accusingly, just matter of fact). At Corey’s insistence, Julie ran cross country freshman year. Although she ran the 3 miles about 10 minutes slower than the top runners, she willingly plugged along. When asked how she liked cross country she replied “I like talking with the other girls on the bus rides, but the running part isn’t much fun” (I never knew cross country had a part besides running). She was happy knowing that if she never crossed the finish line, the times of her much faster team-mates would not count at all – so as slow as she was, she was as equally important a member as her undefeated team-mate. In the spring she switched from running to throwing (it seemed like less work, while still filling the parental request for participating in a physical activity). She tried the shot put and discus. The disc was bad (only around 50 feet) but the shot was worse – so she gave up on the shot put. With only one event, she could get her throws done in about ten minutes and spend the rest of the meet reading or drawing. So now it’s spring of sophomore year and she is competing in her one event again. Strangely enough, she is improving. She started by throwing in the “60’s”, then improved into the “70’s” and quickly into the 80 foot range. When she threw 87+ feet, she qualified for statewide competition. Granted she never expects to throw the improbable distance of her team-mate Kayla (110 feet) but she was quite excitedly anticipating throwing a “90” and then she proudly accomplished it. It also seemed to please her that she was out-throwing some of the “athletes” who were on the track & Field squad with her. Now she discusses the advantages of different techniques (she does better with the style that assistant coach “Jocko” showed her than with what head coach “Frac” prefers). Because of her throw of over 87 feet, she was invited to the State Class Meet where she threw against all of the other qualifying girls from all of the Division 4 teams across the state. She came in third place with a throw of 104+. This means she goes next Saturday to compete against all of the top 4 throwers from each division (I believe there are 5 divisions) which means (while only a sophmore) she is one of the top 20 female discus throwers in the state of Massachusetts. Julie is taking great pride in her accomplishments (which she should) and is excited about her next challenge. And although I don’t know how it is going to help her be a better artist or Egyptologist, I am totally proud of her and happy for her.

Each child has enjoyed the bragging right of having been on a championship team at some point in time.

Funny how the one who cared the least about excelling in sports, has suffered the least amount of disillusionment and has progressed further than any of them.

GO JUJUBEE-AMAZON!!!!!

One Busy Day

Good things come to those who wait.

So I waited until I was 28 before I got married, but she was absolutely worth the wait.

Sue was 20 and our marriage (or more accurately, the two children who soon followed) interupted her college education prior to her completing senior year. But now- 20 years later - she, and the child who made it too logistically difficult to finish school way back when, graduated together from BSC (the only parent/child combo to do so this year).

So the mother who sacrificed her own progress for the sake of her children, and the son who at age two was diagnosed as autistic (later clarified to Hyperlexia) and who benefitted immeasurably from her decision to interupt her formal education and be devoted and dedicated to his (correction = NOT immeasurably, receiving his college diploma is a very clear and impressive measurement) both conquered incredible obstacles to arrive fittingly at the same place on the same day == mother first, son about five minutes later == after listening to a 24 year old 3-time Nobel Peace Prize nominee talk about the importance and priviledge of children receiving an education and how young college grads should dedicate some time and energy helping to make it happen for others less fortunate.

Sadly we missed witnessing Julie receiving the Sacrement of Confirmation - 'tho her sponsor Maureen and her elder sister Mary generously took over the responsibility of her wonderful event so that the rest of us could focus on Sue & Tim's acheivement.

Nikki missed softball practice and Joe missed a game (although I presume both were certainly cancelled due to inclement weather so they didn't actually miss anything).

Corey got to end the busy day by stealing the show (or at least the first half) as the "semi-sadistic" dentist in Carver High's production of Little Shop of Horrors. Once little Joe was convinced that Corey wasn't really dead, he decided that he wants Carver to do the play when he is in high school so that he too can play the part (he would get to say bad words and nobody would actually be mad at him for it!). Yon got to buy a Venus Fly Trap plant duing intermission.

All in all - a very successful day. God is good!

Class of 07

How does she do it?

Within the span of 60 hours (started last night so some items are already completed) she will:

1. be a doting mother of 7
2. be a loving wife
3. be a sympathetic ear to a friend who just had cancer surgically removed
4. work the graveyard shift
5. help save a mans life (literally)
6. counsel others who feel like they might die
7. get kids off to school
8. sleep a couple of hours
9. attend a college dinner ceremony with Tim
10. get Yon home from work
11. be a tired, but still loving wife
12. organize the next days schedule
13. get a couple hours sleep
14. get kids dressed
15. graduate from college
16. miss Julies Confirmation Ceremony but still make her feel special
17. entertain 8 people throuhout a celebratory meal
18. watch Corey perform in the High School Play
19. organize the next days schedule
20. get a couple hours sleep
21. attend church
22. host Joe’s birthday party

(not to mention all of the other little things she takes care of and fits in like cleaning and cooking and attending to everybody else’s needs)

(my goal is to do something to prove myself worthy of her)

Opening Day

Softball season officially starts today with Nikki’s first game. We have been able to practice three times and look as good as any 3rd thru 5th grade team can look. I love the start of softball as it has been an important part of my life for 32 years. OK – sadly I can’t tell you how many years I’ve been married but I can tell you how long I’ve been coaching. Of course gone are the good old days when I was young and single and was not only a head coach of the Hanson 13 – 17 year old travel team (8 years) but also Hanson Girls Softball League President (7 years) and North River Girls Softball League President (4 years) concurrently - and could spend endless hours plotting and planning rosters and schedules and practices and game lineups. Now I am an assistant coach (and with family schedules and commitments, only a part time assistant at that) for Nikki’s team with a new head coach I barely know. So the dilemma is how to be the helper and not let 32 years of experience make me sound like a know-it-all? I don’t want to sound like I’m telling the guy how to coach HIS team, and I don’t want to see him spend a lot of valuable time negotiating the learning curve when I could lead him through it much quicker. See – just explaining it makes me sound like an egotist. I feel guilty over any amount of time I invest in preparation, and worry about offending him. Last year worked out good because Nikki’s coach Gordon had been an assistant coach for me 8 years ago in Little League. So last year even though I wasn’t even officially his assistant – he gladly put me to work with the pitchers whenever I was able to be at the games or practices. Now Gordon is the Carver Girls Softball League President. He tried to convince me to be a Head Coach, but the time commitment is still just too much. But he promises to have a spot for me whenever I am ready because he feels I would be a good influence in the league. I read the list of league guidelines and rules and philosophy that Gordon put together. I think he plagiarized every philosophy I ever espoused when he and I coached together (I was flattered, and he is welcome to steal any ideas I have ever expressed) – so I guess that even if I never get to be a head coach again, I can be happy thinking I did influence the league in an indirect way. Maybe I will figure out how to influence a new head coach in a similar way.

Anyway – although surrounding circumstances have greatly changed (jobs, bills, school, supper, yard work, graduations, band, 4-H, etc.... can all wait until tomorrow), it’s officially softball season, the sun is shining, we’ve not lost a single game, and I am eager to get onto the field. Play Ball!

The Week Ahead - 4/23/07 to 4/27/07

(note 1: that there is no accommodation for preparing & eating supper, or helping kids with homework, or paying bills, cleaning house, etc… these are simply assumed to get squeezed in during spare time)
(note 2: that quality time with kids or spouse is also simply assumed to get squeezed in during spare time)
(note 3: that I will be punished dearly and deservedly so for not scheduling in spousal quality time)
(note 4: that this list is simply from memory off the top of my head without the actual calendar in front of me, so simply assume that I have only included about 2/3rds of the ACTUAL schedule, and that up to 1/3rd of what is written may actually be inaccurate)
(note 5: on any given day if Julie has a track meet instead of practice then we don't acually know for sure when she needs to get picked up)

Monday: (degree of difficulty = a bit tricky with timing)
Sue HUGE 4 hour GRE test at school
3:50 drop off Corey & Yon at work (Shaws)
4:00 pick up Nikki at Elementary School
4:10 pick up Julie at High School
5:15 bring Joe to Little League game
5:30 – 7:30 Joe's Game
Don 5:05 home from work
5:45 -7:30 bring Jamie to Dog Agility 4-H club
8:00 pick up Yon from work
9:00 pick up Corey from work
Tim 5:30 straight from school to Joes game

Tuesday: (degree of difficulty = straight forward)
Sue 8:00 – 2:30 school
4:00 pick up Julie at HS
5:45 – 7:30 bring Jamie & Nikki to Dog Obedience 4-H club
Don 5:05 home from work
6:45 bring Yon to YMCA swimming
Tim 6:45 – 7:45 set up for bingo at church
8:45 – 9:15 pick up Yon from YMCA

Wednesday: (degree of difficulty = straight forward unless Sue also has PTO meeting)
Sue present proposed commencement speech to school Deans
4:00 Drop off Corey & Yon at work
4:10 pick up Julie at HS
7:00 – 8:00 grocery shop & pick up Yon
Don 6:15 – 10:45 band practice (includes travel time to Cape)
Tim 9:00 pick up Corey

Thursday: (degree of difficulty = too complicated, will not actually work out)
Sue 8:00 – 2:30 school
3:45 bring Joe to band practice
4:00 pick up Julie at HS
4:15 pick up Joe from band
4:30 – 9:30 sleep in preparation to work overnight
10:15 leave for work
Don 5:05 home from work
5:15 bring Joe to Little League game
5:55 – 6:45 bring Nikki to softball practice (1st of year)
6:45 – 8:15 bring Yon to YMCA basketball
9:15 prepare Sue’s supper
Tim 6:00 attend Joes game
6:45 – 7:45 take down bingo at church
(this doesn’t actually work, so Yon misses BBall so I can stay until 7:00 end of Nikki’s practice and go back to LL field where Joes game will end around 7:30ish – otherwise they would be left unattended and have to walk home 4 miles)

Friday: (degree of difficulty = not too bad)
Sue 4:00 drop off Corey & Yon at work
4:10 pick up Julie at HS
4:30 – 9:30 sleep in preparation to work overnight
10:15 leave for work
Don 5:30 – 7:00 bring Nikki to softball practice
8:00 pick up Yon
9:15 prepare Sue’s supper
Tim 6:00 – 7:00 bring Joe to baseball practice
9:00 pick up Corey

Happy Birthday & Happy Re-Birth Day

Happy Birthday to Sue
Happy Birthday to Sue
Happy Birthday dear Suzie
Happy Birthday to Sue

and Happy Easter to everybody else!!


(posted one day late,
but as Jesus would probably say when you finally got with the program,
better late than never)

Pulling Rank

After all the grief she gave me about wanting to buy a pickup truck, now that we have it - when we both have to go in different directions at the same time, she wants to drive it. In fact, she even resorts to reminding me of the technicality that it is HER truck.

(but she does look so darned good wearing my plaid jacket, my cowboy hat, and sittin' behind the wheel of my - yes, technicalities be damned, I said MY - pickup truck)

(and wait til Julie starts driving it - also wearing my cowboy coat & hat. Every teenage boy in Carver will suddenly "go Country" and start drooling. There will definitely be songs written about her - think Colin Raye "My Kind Of Girl" or Brooks and Dunn "Rock My World Little Country Girl" - no, I don't want to think about it)

(I'm gonna get stuck sharing the station wagon with Tim, aren't I?)

Truckin' like the Do Da Man

Her Majesty's fathers Malibu has officially died. I have been dreading this moment knowing the sentimental value it holds for her, but have been looking forward to replacing it. We already have the 15 passenger van and the station wagon, so I envisioned that a pickup truck would be viable and useful as the third vehicle. It is the vehicle I will typically drive to work in, go to the dump, pick up hay & grain or a load of mulch with, load a canoe and pond equipment into (if "pond equipment" confuses you, you have obviously never gone swimming with this family), etc...

My only real guidelines were that it was a club cab (with back seat of some sort), less than full size ( for gas economy), and mechanically sound (didn't have to be "pretty").

Well the tax return is in and the truck is ours (notice I say "ours" not "mine").

It is two years older than the Malibu was, but has 40,000 fewer miles.

It is in immaculate condition - body and interior - and fire engine red.

It even has a cap, visor, tow hitch, 5-speed & 4x4 - complete bonuses.

The kids are excited beyond belief.

And because the Malibu was in Sues name, to simply transfer the plates meant that the truck had to be the same.

And because the Taurus was technically sold from her parents estate to her for $1, that car is also soley in her name.

And when we got the money to buy the van, she shopped while I was at work and bought it on the spot - so that ended up soley in her name.

So I don't have a single vehicle with my name on it.

So now it's truly "til death do us part" - because even if I wanted to leave her, I don't have a get-away car!

Thankfully she still loves me and lets me drive HER new pickup truck.

(and nobody can suggest that it reflects a mid-life crisis or 2nd childhood issue for me - it's hers, not mine)

The Parental Dilemma

In a very simplistic nutshell, a successful parent raises a child to be able to make good decisions as an adult.

The dilemma is that after spending 20+ years choosing, guiding, protecting, and overseeing their every move you don’t actually know how well you have taught and how well they have learned – until you step back and let them succeed or fail on their own. This totally contradicts every move you have made for 20+ years. But one day they say “I Do” and you have to say “I won’t”. And then they get confronted with a BIG decision which will raise the all important question – “who makes the decision?” Again, they must say “I Do” and we must say “I won’t” – but it’s not easy. How much advice do you give before it crosses over into telling them what they should do? (When they are kids you basically tell them what to do but try to make it sound like advice) Will I be able to make the transition?

My beautiful oldest daughter Mary is very smart, creative and talented. Her husband Matt is apparently very much her equal in these regards. Their unique talents and focuses are in different fields but there is every indication that they will each excel in their chosen careers. Matt graduated from college and stepped right into his dream job (computer game designer/programmer) almost two years ago. Mary graduated last year and is now working on her masters (Colonial American History/Artifacts - museum stuff) which will take another year still. So in a sense, Matt is three years ahead of her on the career track, and was recently recruited for a prestigious position. What could be better than your dream job? Doing your dream job on a ground breaking project under the direction of Steven Spielberg – that’s what.

But it would require moving to Los Angeles.
But it would be working with Steven Spielberg.
But it would be a major setback in Mary’s career track.
But it would be a top secret project – with Steven Spielberg.
But it would be a difficult move -- logistically, financially and personally.
But it would be a promotion on a top secret project with Steven Spielberg.

In the end we are proud to say they made a wise decision, and I believe in the end, mostly on their own. They recognized that all that glitters isn’t guaranteed to be gold, and that the risk and anxiety and disruption of their current good life was not worth the bragging rights or a promised new life. Matt loves his current job, which he is very good at and his talents are clearly recognized and appreciated. Mary loves her current studies and is clearly honing her talents towards a fruitful future. They love each other and their surroundings. They have a very good life and are smart enough and wise enough to recognize and appreciate and embrace it. They have decided to keep it.

I wonder if this will make it easier to not interfere with their future big decisions. We really had to measure what we said and how we said it. (I think Susie & I did a good job!)

Will it be easier to do the same for the other children when their times come?

At what point do we get to say we were successful parents?